Sunday, March 7, 2010

Courtesy Sex

Recently I learned of something called “Courtesy Sex”, not to be mistaken for a Booty Call. Let me break it down so it can forever be broken. A Booty Call is when someone calls you (It can be a man or a woman making the call) either asking you to come over or asking to come over to have sex, but it is not considered a Booty Call if the call takes place before midnight.

Courtesy Sex is when a person (usually a man) has sex with someone out of pity. You may be asking, then why have sex if you really don’t want to have sex with the person? Well, the reason being is because they usually have a history with the person. I was out with a male buddy the other day and he explained it perfectly to me. He told me back in the day he used to date this petite pretty girl who had a banging body and he used to love to have sex with her. Recently he ran into her again. Unfortunately, one of her relatives passed away and she was in town for the funeral. He said the first moment she had him alone she asked when was he going to give her some? She told him she rehearsed this moment in her mind for almost twenty years. He said she damn near cornered him against the wall and started taking her clothes off. He said she was no longer the small petite woman he was attracted to, but he literally said, (his words not mine) she looked like a little bowling ball, round and short. So of course I asked, “Did you give her Courtesy Sex?” and of course he said yes, but he never told anyone because he still couldn’t believe that he did it.

I had several male friends tell me they had Courtesy Sex because they didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. Most of the men had a previous relationship or a sexual history with the women and that is why they had Courtesy Sex. I had one man tell me he had mutual Courtesy Sex with his ex. He stated that they knew it was over and they both agreed to have sex one last time before he moved out. I think that’s different because at least in this case both parties knew the situation. However, when you are the one giving the Courtesy Sex nine times out of ten you’re the only one who knows about the Courtesy Sex situation.

So my question is, why not just say no? Seriously, I rather have a man tell me that he’s just not attracted to me like that anymore, or shit, just straight out lie to not have sex with me because the last thing I want is some Courtesy Sex from a man who is not attracted to me anymore. It’s just not that deep for me.

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

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  1. Because know man even with any type of self control. Would ever turn down the invitation for sex with any woman. Especially if they are in a room alone and he know longer has to speak to her again. It is easier to just do the "deed" than say no.

  2. Well just be smart and use protection because I would hate for a bad situation to turn into a worst situation.

    I'm just saying..

  3. That's what you call a "dirt mission." You do it and you bury it. Tell no one. And yeah..I've done it before.

  4. I'm a woman and I had courtesy sex once. It was with this guy I met we talked for about a few months I was not attracted to him in any way but thought that we could maintain a friendship. Well one afternoon we where sitting on the coach and he just stated making some advances and I was saying to myself I don't want to do this with him. Well I did just cause I felt sorry for him and the entire time we had sex I had to think of someone else just to make it through. I will never do that again and he was horrible.


  5. I like to call it Curious Sex; I had a similar experience myself with a guy that I use to work with and would never do it again. He was relentless to get with me and for that one minute I was curious what sex with him would be like, turned out to be a lost. Donna

  6. That’s right Chanel just say no, but women should be following their gut instincts also. If a guy is not answering your phone calls or not responding to your flirting signs towards him, that just means he doesn’t want to be bothered with you. No need to force a guy into courtesy sex. 99.9% of the time they’ll do it because it’s sex; just be with someone that will give you the attention you deserve so that you can reciprocate the same attention to him that way both of you will have great sex.


  7. Where have I been; this is the first time I’ve heard of the term Courtesy Sex.. I’ve never heard any of my male friend’s say that they would have sex with a female because they didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and at the end of the day it’s a one-way street she’ll feel good because of the sex but you won’t.

    Dave C.