Sunday, March 28, 2010

Just Because They Make It Doesn't Mean You Can Wear it!!!

Ladies, ladies, ladies, can we talk? The warm weather is fast approaching and I thought this would be the perfect topic to discuss, especially since the weather will be approaching 80 degrees in the Philadelphia area later in the week. I am almost afraid of what I might see this weekend in the warm weather. I had to use visuals for this article because bayeeee words just can’t explain some of the shit I have seen, especially on bodies that didn’t have NO BUSINESS in that shit.

Ladies if you look in the mirror and you see the Michelin man looking back, please don’t try to fit a spandex dress over that unless you plan on giving out free spare tires for the night. Case in point:

If you look in the mirror and you see a free for all fight in your ass please don’t try to cover it up with spandex and then have the audacity to not wear a long shirt to cover it up. Remember, when you are walking down the street you can’t see the midgets constantly fighting in your ass, but damn it we can, so put a shirt over it!!

Hey I am not saying that just because you are a voluptuous woman doesn’t mean that you can’t be sexy. I know several voluptuous women who are very sexy, but please be classy at the same time! Sexy is all a state of mind. I woman can be sexy in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. I woman can be sexy in a wrap dress or a simple dress and a fresh pedicure in a pair of open-toe sandals. A real sexy woman knows that she makes the clothes and the clothes doesn’t make her.

I love, just like most women, feeling and looking sexy, however, I DO know my limits. I am not a big woman, but I know what I can and can’t wear, period! Just because they make it in your size doesn’t mean you SHOULD wear it in your size. So ladies please remember this simple statement when the temperature starts to inch up and we want to start shedding our clothes. Because the eyes can only take but so much!

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

Friday, March 26, 2010

To Tell or Not to Tell- That’s the Question

Ok, here is the scenario. One of your homegirls, not a childhood friend that you see once every two years, or an associate or a co-worker, but a homegirl, tells you she met a dude that she is really feeling. She wants you to meet him, so she invites you over to her house one day when he is there. So you’re game, you go to her house and as soon as she introduces him to you, you realize it is someone that you use to mess with in the past. Question, do you tell her or do you let it ride and don’t say a word?

I have offered this scenario to several people and I have gotten mixed responses. However, most men, well damn near every man wanted to know! If he was dating a woman that his homeboy used to date he would want to know about it. I was told it was a territorial thang with men. One example that was given to me was, say you and dude started out on the same job in the same position, now fast forward 5 years later and you are now that dude’s boss. You are now dating someone that he used to deal with. A man wants to know this! Why? I will tell you why. Because the guy who is now your subordinate is telling everyone that he used to bang the boss’s woman! He saying “Yeah you may be the boss, but I had your woman first!” After hearing this and analyzing this, I now understand why a man would want to know, TESTESTRONE!!

For women, I think it is a little different. Some women responses were if it was in the past and it doesn’t mean anything now then don’t tell. They felt as though, if it was something that really didn’t go anywhere then don’t bring it up. If it was a serious thing then yeah they would bring it up. So for women it was all about the seriousness of the situation.

I personally was kind of on the fence with this one. But after really thinking about it, I too agreed it would be best for all parties involved (or formerly involved) to disclosure this information. Then leave it to the new person to decide whether it’s a make or break the deal for the new relationship.

Hey, honesty is the best policy because what if your homegirl or homeboy run into someone that knows you used to date the “current” and you never divulged this information, how do you think it would make them feel?

I’m just saying

C Double R!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Why Do Married Men Cheat??

First, let me say I can speak about it because I have lived through it. Over the years I have learned that a man can love you, kill and/or die for you, but it doesn’t mean that he won’t cheat on you! Now that’s some real talk for your ass! Unfortunately ladies it’s in most men “make up” to cheat. The best way I can explain it is that most men have an insatiable desire for a variety of women. That’s it in a nutshell.

I had a friend who wanted me to blog about this topic. The first thing I said to the person is just because your husband cheat doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you and for the most part his ass will not leave you not unless you kick his ass out! As you all know I have several close male friends and I have this discussion with them constantly and the one common response is that they would never leave their wives for another woman no matter how good the punanny is, period.

It has been explained to me that most married men cheat because they need a little variety when it comes to sex to keep the excitement in their marriage (Hey I don’t condone this in any way, but I have to give it to you raw!). I was told even if you have the main dish which could be filet mignon, lobster, or whatever your favorite main dish is, but you need the side dishes like a potato or asparagus to go along with it to make the meal more flavorful. Another analogy that was used to explain why men cheat is ice cream, yes damn it I said ice cream! I was told take for instance your favorite ice cream is “vanilla”, but then you are introduce to a new flavor “Rocky Road” something that looks good and something you never had before and your curiosity gets the best of you and you try it and you like it. So here on out even though “vanilla” is still your favorite every now and again you have a taste for Rocky Road. But when asked what is your favorite ice cream you still respond “vanilla”.

The bottom line is that men are just wired differently than women. The saying men are from Mars and women are from Venus is so true! But let me warn you men, just because your woman or some women like myself, understand this and just because we expect it, doesn’t mean that we are going to accept it!

So let’s be clear, don’t think you can use “it’s in your make up” as an excuse for cheating. Let me give you a little advice, don’t let the taste of the Rocky Road ice cream substitute the vanilla ice cream because vanilla ice cream has been around since the existence of ice cream. Other flavors may come and go, but vanilla is a constant when it comes to ice cream.

I’m just saying..

Friday, March 19, 2010

Why Do Women Love Men in Uniforms?

Ok, I must say there is something about a man in a uniform. It could be a military, police, fire, or pilot uniform. I think it is all about the “representation” of the uniform. No seriously think about it, when a man wears a certain kind of uniform we “expect” a specific expertise from this man and usually it has something to do with safety that make women feel secure with these kind of men.

Security is one thing that all women look for in a relationship. It could be physical or financial, but all women want to feel some sense of security when it comes to their man! Hell, I know I do. I don’t want to be with a man who I have to second guess when it comes to security. When you see a pilot in uniform you know he is going to fly the hell out of that plane, because that’s what he’s been trained to do. If you see a police officer in uniform you know he will chase a thug down if your purse is snatched, because he has been trained to protect and serve.

Men in uniforms just make a woman feel like she is with a man’s man, which most women not only find attractive, but downright sexy! No offense to the bankers, accountants or attorneys because personally I think intelligence is a whole other level of sexy. However, in society it is all about perception and men in uniforms have the perception of being “Captain Save Me” to most women and that itsh is sexy!

Now again, we are only talking about “perception” people and we all know perception is not always reality. Just because you’re a policeman doesn’t mean you can’t be a punk ass, I’m just saying. And just because you’re a fireman doesn’t mean your ass is not afraid of fire, hey you could have signed up for the job because you needed a job, feel me. But again, when that man put that uniform on we tend to think he is that uniform that he has on.

I say, to each it’s own, we all have something that we are attracted to when it comes to the opposite sex. For men, it might be long hair, a big booty, light eyes, or a nurturing woman. For women, it could be height, income, a man who knows how to serve them in the bedroom, or a man in uniform. So I ask you, “What do you find sexy in the opposite sex, or for some, the same sex?”

I’m just saying..

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Monday, March 15, 2010

Foreplay in the Strip Club

This question is for both the men and the women, “Do you have a problem with your mate going to the strip club as a form of foreplay?” I have been told several times that this is one of the best places to go to have foreplay because once they get home it is on and popping.

When I say foreplay, I don’t mean physical contact or sexual activity in the club, but the visual effects of it all. I have been told that it arouses the sexual desires to have sex with their mate. REALLY?? Personally, I just don’t buy this shit, sorry! Because I feel as though if you want to be sexually aroused then it is my job to get you to that state, not some random chick you wish you could bang! I am not saying I have a problem with my man going to the club and hanging out with his boys, do you, but make sure you’re not doing anyone else in the process, you feel me?

I think this is just some malarkey that men (and some women) use as an excuse to go to the club and fantasize and unfortunately sometimes do more. My point is when you come home and we are getting busy, who are you really thinking about, the stripper on the pole, or me? Please don’t answer that question, but I think I know the answer.

True story, I have a friend who said for her man’s birthday she took him to a strip club and for his gift, well let’s just say she had a female stripper do things to her that pleased her man so much that when they got home that night they had the best sex ever. WTF??? Now, I think this is a whole other topic to blog about separately (trust me and I will), but apparently couples do this kind of thing to add spice to their sex life.

So do you oppose your mate going to the strip club to get his/her foreplay on? Do you encourage or discourage it? Do you participate and go with him/her. Do you find it sexy or demeaning, or perhaps insulting?

I personally rather pull out the stilettos and the one piece and star in my own show from start to finish I don’t need an opening act, I like to be the only star of the show.

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

Are you sick and tire of being sick and tired? Are you tired of your current situation, whether it’s your relationship, marriage, job or health? I remember being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Shoot, I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired and made me tired just thinking about my situation.

But the one thing I can’t stand is someone constantly talking about how sick and tired they are of their situation but aren’t willing to make the moves to change their current situation. I’m sorry, but I don’t have the patient or the tolerance to deal with people who want to complain all the time, but not willing to change their situation.

If you’re sick and tired of your marriage or relationship then do something to change the status quo. And if you feel as though you are the only one that has tried to make the changes to make the relationship better and your partner hasn’t, then maybe it time to look for a new partner or hell, just be alone! Stop making excuses to stay in your current situation. People kill me when they say, “But we been together for so long.” WTF?? Are you kidding me? Let me get this straight, you and Kenny have been together for ten years, but out of the ten years you’ve only been happy a total of 9 months, are you serious?

Then you have the people who are sick and tired of being overweight. Yeah, you’re tired of being overweight but you’re still eating Twinkies, cakes and pies and can’t remember the last time you’ve exercised. Yes, we all like to indulge in things that are not good for us, but eat that itsh in moderation. I’m not saying cut it out completely. If you want a piece of chocolate, eat a piece a chocolate, but damn, not a pound of chocolate! Also, take a walk around the block from time to time; it’ll do the body good. If you start to think in moderation and not starvation mode you will slowly began to see the changes in your eating habits, and if you sprinkle a little exercise in from time to time I guarantee you the weight will start to come off.
Listen, I’m not saying that things are going to change overnight once you start to apply these efforts, but I can guarantee you just sitting around complaining and not even trying to attempt to change your current situation will definitely make you sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Remember this is your life and no one has to live it or be accountable for it except YOU!!!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Courtesy Sex

Recently I learned of something called “Courtesy Sex”, not to be mistaken for a Booty Call. Let me break it down so it can forever be broken. A Booty Call is when someone calls you (It can be a man or a woman making the call) either asking you to come over or asking to come over to have sex, but it is not considered a Booty Call if the call takes place before midnight.

Courtesy Sex is when a person (usually a man) has sex with someone out of pity. You may be asking, then why have sex if you really don’t want to have sex with the person? Well, the reason being is because they usually have a history with the person. I was out with a male buddy the other day and he explained it perfectly to me. He told me back in the day he used to date this petite pretty girl who had a banging body and he used to love to have sex with her. Recently he ran into her again. Unfortunately, one of her relatives passed away and she was in town for the funeral. He said the first moment she had him alone she asked when was he going to give her some? She told him she rehearsed this moment in her mind for almost twenty years. He said she damn near cornered him against the wall and started taking her clothes off. He said she was no longer the small petite woman he was attracted to, but he literally said, (his words not mine) she looked like a little bowling ball, round and short. So of course I asked, “Did you give her Courtesy Sex?” and of course he said yes, but he never told anyone because he still couldn’t believe that he did it.

I had several male friends tell me they had Courtesy Sex because they didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. Most of the men had a previous relationship or a sexual history with the women and that is why they had Courtesy Sex. I had one man tell me he had mutual Courtesy Sex with his ex. He stated that they knew it was over and they both agreed to have sex one last time before he moved out. I think that’s different because at least in this case both parties knew the situation. However, when you are the one giving the Courtesy Sex nine times out of ten you’re the only one who knows about the Courtesy Sex situation.

So my question is, why not just say no? Seriously, I rather have a man tell me that he’s just not attracted to me like that anymore, or shit, just straight out lie to not have sex with me because the last thing I want is some Courtesy Sex from a man who is not attracted to me anymore. It’s just not that deep for me.

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ain't Nothing Going on But the Rent!

I think we all have either experienced this or know someone who has experienced this situation.

Ladies, you meet your new guy, and everything is going well. You guys are hanging out almost every day, going out to dinner, dancing, the movies and the sex is banging! In the beginning your new Boo packed an overnight bag and stayed overnight and then left in the morning. Fast forward three months down the road and this man has completely moved into your damn house, unbeknownst to you!! Dude is no longer packing an overnight bag he has taken over your underwear draw and half of your damn closet!

Now you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place because you like having him there, but at the same time your food is being depleted faster than you can replace it and the utility bills are slowly creeping up, not to mention the laundry load. You feel uncomfortable asking him to contribute financially because technically he doesn’t live there and he is still paying bills for his own house. And on top of all that, dude already have a key to your front door!

My question to you is, “Why are you the one feeling uncomfortable, especially in your own damn house?” If anyone should feel uncomfortable it should be the Guest That Wouldn’t Leave. What kind of man just takes it upon himself to move into his woman’s house without even thinking about offering to pay a bill? I tell you what, no man of mine! I think when we are in that “Honeymoon” stage of our new relationships we are so caught up that we really don’t see what is really going on around us. Ladies and men too, it’s ok to fall in love but don’t get caught up to the point where you’re feeling uncomfortable in your own home. Your home is the one place where you should feel comfortable and also feel respected in.

So just pay attention, if you feel like things are moving too fast then be like Roy Rogers and Slow Down! And always, always, always have “The Financial Responsibility That Comes With This Key Talk” before you decide to hand over your key to your new love because if not you will be living with a “Live-In Lover Who is Living Responsibility Free Off of Me!!” man!

I’m just saying…