Wednesday, December 29, 2010

When Women Cheat

Ok, ok, ok we all know women are emotional creatures and men are physical creatures, I believe I have reiterated this a hundred times already. So my question for the men is, “Can you forgive your woman if you found out or if she admitted that she cheated?” I want you to let this question marinate in your mind for a minute before you respond.

When a man cheat it’s like eating a piece of cake, it was good while it lasted but once it’s gone it’s gone! If a man could cheat everyday and knew he could get away with it then damn it he probably would! Again, it is in a man’s make up to be a physical creature. I think this is why a significant number of women forgive their man when he cheats, especially if he is a good provider, because most women know the pickings out there are very slim when it comes to finding a good man. And as I stated in a previous article most men will not leave their woman no matter how good the side sex is, because in their mind it’s just a good piece of side ass.

Now let’s flip the script and discuss why women cheat. Most women cheat because they are trying to fill a void in their current relationship. It could be the lack of communication, attention, or affection. And unfortunately, most men prey on this and play up to this when they meet a woman who they know is missing something in her relationship.

This man will do all that he can to fill that void because once he does he knows he has her right where he wants her, in his bed! Oh, he will wait and be patient too. He will be that ear that she needs when her man doesn’t want to listen to what she has to say. He will compliment her to make her feel sexy when her man doesn’t. He will be her best friend and once he knows he has her where he wants her “in that comfort zone” dude will go in for the kill. Most women, sometimes including myself, doesn’t recognize this game that men play, well not initially, then when we do recognize this game we will do either one of two things.

One, we will keep that man “in the friend zone” or we will give in. Most women give in not because we appreciate the man so much, but because we appreciate the attention from the man so much! And men know this and that is why it is much harder for a man to forgive his woman for cheating as oppose to a woman forgiving her man for cheating. Most men know once they lose their woman emotionally it is very hard to reel her back in, so that’s why most men just say the hell with it and just walk away from the relationship completely. And if they do stay they will always feel that sense of betrayal from their woman because they know that emotional sex is much worse than physical sex and this can really mess up a man’s psyche.

I hate to say it, but in a lot of cases women cheat because they feel neglected, so men if you stay on your job then maybe your woman wouldn’t cheat on you, whether it’s emotional or physical cheating. I will tell you just let you all like to tell us, the same things you did to get me will be the same things you need to continue to do to keep me!

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

If you have any questions or suggestions for C Double R! Please email me at CDOUBLER2@GMAIL.COM

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

You Complete Me - I Need a Man Chick!!

This is a woman looking for a man to complete her. She doesn’t understand that a man should be an addition to, not a completion to. She feels like if she doesn’t have a man then her life is not complete. She has very few requirements when it comes to a man. If he has two arms, two legs, a face and a penis, then she will take him.

This is the type of woman who will support a man, visit him and marry him in prison, stay with him even if he abuses her verbal and/or physically. This is the woman who is just proud to say she has a man. She is also the kind that constantly talks about her man, my man this and my man that, all the while her friends are looking at her like she is a damn fool. Oh she knows deep down inside her man aint shit, but at least she has one. She also likes to brag about her man to her single girlfriends especially the attractive ones, basically to say I have a man and you don’t!

She is the kind that will tolerate almost anything. If she found her man in bed with her sister, mother or brother she would probably stay with him. This is the woman that would stay with her man even if he asked her for a threesome and he starts seeing the other chick on the side. She would make herself a lesbian for this man if he asked her to. She will move her man into her house after two weeks of dating and think nothing of it. She would serve her man shrimp for dinner while her kids eat oodles of noodles. She will wait on him hand and foot even after working a twelve hour shift.

I Need a Man Chick is sort of like the Ride of Die Chick, but on a much lower level. Even the Ride or Die Chick has her limits and most importantly, self respect. This chick doesn’t know what a limit is or self respect!
This is a woman who has very low self-esteem and often thinks she is not worthy of a good man so any man that pays her attention will do. She could be a woman that was teased growing up, obese, called unattractive by others, or even abused as a child. Therefore, her self-esteem was just sucked out of her and she doesn’t have the strength to try to regain it.

This type of woman can come from any socio- economical background. This could be a well–educated woman, a hood woman, or a middle class woman. If a single woman constantly talks about past relationships and can’t focus on the present, this could be a sign of I Need a Man Chick. Men, if you meet a woman and she constantly asks you questions about you and doesn’t want to answer any questions about herself, this could be a sign. Also, if she projects a low self-esteem this is a key sign. Most of these women are all about pleasing a man at any cost. She will pay for the dates, give money she doesn’t have, participate in sexual acts that she is not comfortable with, all to make a man happy.

This kind of woman does not know her self worth. She doesn’t realize she is a diamond in the rough. This is a woman who wants to be loved so bad that she will forfeit our own happiness for it. She believes she is worthless without a man. My motto is if you can’t be happy with yourself what makes you think that someone else will be? We have to learn to love ourselves first, and learn to enjoy our own company before we start inviting others into our world.

Most men take advantage of these kind of women because they see them as an easy target. Unfortunately, most men actually prey on these kind of women and use them for everything that they have. In the beginning they will make the woman think that they are really into them. Make them think that they are the most beautiful creature in the world just so they can continue to use her. Because she is such an easy target this is not a hard thing to do.

So men, if you happen to meet a woman like this and if you chose to use her instead of helping her then you are only perpetuating her ill image of herself and basically need your ass whipped!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Ride or Die Chick

Now this is a chick that every man wants by his side. I also called this chick The Mary Jo Buttafucco chick. This woman caught a bullet to the head, which is still lodged in her head today, by her husband’s teenage lover and she still went to bat for his cheating ass. She actually stayed with him for years after the incident until she finally got tired of his philandering ways and decided to divorce him. But this woman took a bullet, literally, because of this dude and stood by his side everyday in the courtroom to show her support for her cheating husband. Now, that’s a true Ride or Die Chick.
This is the kind of woman that will not get shook when she finds out that her man is cheating, or when her man loses is job or go to jail, because regardless what everybody else sees she only sees the man that she loves.
I knew a young lady whose man was in the game hard. He had a reputation throughout the city. Now this dude was every bit of 300 pounds, but he was a sharp dresser, and really fly and when women saw him they saw dollars signs, so he had his choice of women. One day we were having a conversation about our men. I must admit, back then I didn’t understand the definition of a Ride or Die Chick, but I understand it now. I said my man had a curfew, if he didn‘t make it home before the sun the bedroom door was locked and he couldn’t slept in the bedroom. So she turned to me and said, “My man doesn’t come home for days sometime, but I don’t get upset. My man takes really good care of me and my kids, and I understand the game.” At this time, I am a buck in my twenties and I couldn’t believe my ears. I was thinking to myself damn you’re a dumb ass. But now I understand the true definition of a Ride or Die Chick.
Other women may look at this woman as a stupid woman. Stupid for staying with a man that cheats on you, disrespect you, and verbally and or physically beats you. This is a type of woman that has a bond so strong with her man that it’s hard for some people to understand or condone their relationship. She takes a lot of criticism from friends and family members for staying with a man that they don’t think is worthy of her.
The Ride or Die Chick is truly a ‘we’ person not a ‘me’ person. “We” as in, if it affects you then if affects me and therefore it affects “we”. When it comes to her and her man she will do almost anything to make sure her shit stays together. She will make many concessions for her man, without a fuss. She knows are place and plays her position well. She lets her man be a man and do not try to out shine him. She is his biggest fan and support system. She has a ‘It’s gonna be what it’s gonna be’ attitude when it comes to her man.
She usually don’t let others sway her, she is truly her own woman, even though others may not always see her as her own woman. She thinks very highly of her man, which can sometimes cause friction between her and her friends and family. This is why she tends not to speak ill of her man in fear of having to defend her actions. This usually happens after constant complaining about her man to others and receiving feedback saying she should leave him, and don’t. So to avoid the drama she doesn’t complain as much and keep her relationship between her and her man.
Unfortunately, initially there aren’t really no tell-tell signs in regards to a Ride or Die Chick, only time will tell if a woman is truly a Ride or Die Chick. If you’re with a chick and you are down on your luck and she takes the baton and starts running, then she’s a Ride or Die Chick. If she catches you cheating, and still stays with you, then that’s a Ride or Die Chick. If she goes to bat for you and defend you in front of others, that’s a Ride or Die Chick.
One caution about a Ride or Die Chick is that she may not let go when you’re ready to call it a wrap. She will fight to the bitter end, this is where things can get sticky. If this woman is not ready to call it quits she will not give up without a fight. You can cheat and lie and she won’t leave you and if you try to leave her she won’t let you leave, well, at least, not without a fight, which could cause embarrassment for you and possibly for her as well. See, her thinking is, how can you leave me after all the shit you put me through.
But for the most part, most men love a Ride or Die Chick, because basically they have the best of both worlds. If they take care of home and keep their woman happy almost nothing can break up their union, or so they think. This is where alot of men tend to take advantage because he knows no matter what he does she won’t leave. But word to the wise, everybody have a breaking point, even a Ride or Die Chick. So men, if you think it is sweet like that, think again.
Women are truly emotional creatures, so if she feels a deep emotional connection to you that’s a bond that supersedes almost anything else. But once a woman loses interest in a man she tends to back off. If the man is providing for her, whether it’s financially or sexually then she may stick around for that purpose alone. If this becomes the case, some women may step out on you, but continue to keep you satisfied, this is called flipping the script. So you may think you have the best of both worlds and so can she. However, if this is truly a Ride or Die Chick, no matter what she do or what you do, she will ride it out to the bitter end.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Keeping it Real – When Does It Turn Into Arrogance and Rudeness?

I am not a fake person. So basically, I am not going to hang around you, if I am not feeling you. I am not going to smile in your face then talk itsh behind your back, I just won’t mess with you. Period! Some people don’t understand that and mistakenly take that as being arrogant, but it is what it is with me. Question: why would you ask me to be your Facebook friend and when I see you face to face you barely want to speak to me? WTF? Are you kidding me?

Now I don’t go overboard with it. I am not mean about it, I am just truthful about it, For instance, I have a friend and he told me he met this woman that he was obviously attracted to, or else he would not have tried to crack on her. So while they are having a phone conversation she suggested that he gets an apartment in her part of town, since he is from out of town and could afford to do so, he immediately blurts out “Oh no, I don’t do the hood”. He told me he hasn’t heard from her since. Now to me, that is being insensitive. He could have explained it in a better way why he didn’t feel comfortable getting an apartment in that part of town instead of being so blunt.

I know how to get my point across most of the time without being insensitive. Sometimes you may have to tweak your response so you don’t come off too harsh, but at the same time the person understands what you are saying. I believe it is a difference between sugar coating and carefully choosing your words. Again, sugar coating is for food not conversations.

I don’t like it when keeping it real turns into arrogance and rudeness. Now in some situations you do have to dig into your rude bag when the person just don’t want to get the point after you repeatedly stated your case. But those are in extreme situations.

And on another note, stop requesting things from others when you aren’t practicing those same needs for yourself. Another example, the same person who said he doesn’t do the hood also is very adamant about just dating dime pieces, not just the physically the whole package. She must be fione, built, educated and independent, but most importantly she MUST be a trophy on his arm. Now this brotha is not a bad looking guy, but could stand to lose about 30 pounds in his stomach alone and maybe a little dental work as well. So my point is don’t request and expect what you can’t offer yourself, especially when you have the means to do so!!!

Real relationship talk!

Hell, I am just saying…

C Double R!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Beware of Smiling Faces – The Backstabbing Chick

Now unfortunately, I know these are the women men tend to love and women tend to hate. This is the chick that will smile all up in her homegirl’s face, offer her support, be there to lend an ear when she is having man problems, go shopping with her to buy that little black dress for her date, and screwing her man behind her back.

Oh yes, I had to go there, because these type of women exist and in abundance. Have you ever heard of the saying, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?” Well in this case, girlfriend is keeping her enemy a little too close. Unbeknownst to her she is giving up the tapes to the wrong person. Ladies, you know how it is when you meet that dude and he put it on you so good you can't wait to tell your girlfriend, and don’t omit one thing or one position (lol)?

These types of women are usually very good friends to other females. My assumption is one of two reasons, or maybe both. One, because they always want to have access to your business and your man and two, they feel so damn guilty they have no choice but to be nice to your naïve ass.

I know some men are thinking right now as they are reading, “Shoot, what is wrong with that?” They feel like, “I’m getting two for the price of one.” Or thinking, “What my girl don’t know won’t hurt her.” I know some of you men right now are thinking, “So tell me C Double R, how can I spot this one?” Well, here’s an example, have you ever been in a club and you got your eye on one special lady, but her girl is undressing you with her eyes even though she knows you want her girl and every time you try to go in for the number she interrupts you? This could be a sign of a Backstabbing Chick. If you go to your woman’s house and she is waiting on you hand and foot, more than your woman and is always prancing around you with some skimpy shit on, this could be a Backstabbing Chick. Or constantly saying how your woman is so lucky to have you and always giving you compliments and always making up an excuse to touch you, this could be a Backstabbing Chick. Finally, if she is always comparing herself to your woman around you, then this could be a Backstabbing Chick.

But the most obvious sign is when she is constantly coming on to you when your woman is not around. Now, I am not saying all guys fall for this and not all guys are dogs, but if a man keep getting a bone thrown at him he is eventually go to bite it. Fellas, that’s why you nip that situation in the bud from the gate, because if you don’t things can really escalate to the point of no return. Then you have a bunch of people with hurt feelings or no feelings, if you get what I am saying.

Fellas, some of yall may think this is a sweet deal, but you better think before you react because if you don’t you may get more than what you bargain for. Let’s just say, if you haven’t seen the TV series “Snapped” on WE Television station, check out an episode and you will get my drift. Everything that looks good to you, aint always go for you, or better yet, just because it’s free does mean it is for me!!!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions
please contact her at

Friday, December 10, 2010

Sexy is More Than an Adjective

What is sexy? The dictionary defines sexy as “aphrodisiac: exciting sexual desire”. Sexy is more than just an adjective, it is a state of mind. Sexy can mean different things to different people. Sexy can be in a style of speech, a style of dress, intelligence, or simply in someone’s “swagger”. What is sexy to you?

Sexy is more than just a face or shape, it’s about the “presence” that someone has when they step into a room or when you speak to them in a conversation. I remember when I was younger I didn’t understand when a guy would say, “She was sexy, but not in the traditional sense.” But know I understand.

Sexy to me is intelligence and ambition. Give me an “average” looking guy who is super intelligent and ambitious Lawd have Mercy!! Ladies have you ever seen an intelligent man in action? That has to be some of the sexy stuff I have ever seen. I love a man who knows how to take charge and just get the job done. He uses his intelligence, not his fist to get his point across. He uses is goals, not his shadiness to get to where he wants to be, you feel me?

Just like the comedian Teddy Carpenter said you could be the ugliest dude alive but if you have a good job, good credit and a mortgage you look like Denzel to most women! Women love men who can handle their business. As I stated in my previous articles women love a man who knows how to take charge, we find that very sexy.

But again, it goes back to your personal preference. Some women just need a hard body and a fione ass face to call a man sexy. Some men just need a shapely body and an average face to call a woman sexy. Some men think a woman’s “independence” and her knowing how to handle her business is sexy. Some women think a man who can be gentle, but yet masculine is sexy. Sexy is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Let’s not confuse sexiness for attractiveness. There is a difference. Sexy is more tangible and attraction in most cases is more intangible. However, some people may confuse the two. Furthermore, they may not understand the difference between the two. With sexiness it’s an instantaneous vibe, but an attraction in some cases has to build up to that status of attraction.

Sexy is what sexy does. So what’s your sexy? If you feel it’s sexy then wear your sexy and wear it proud!

I’m just saying..

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Act Like a Lady Think Like a Freak in the Bedroom

We all heard of the saying you can’t make a freak into a wife, but you can definitely make a wife into a freak. Let’s keep it real people, men love an uninhibited woman in the bedroom. Most women don’t realize their sexuality until their mid to late thirties or early forties, in some cases, never!

The sex novelist Zane said she realized she was a sexual person at a very early age in life, that’s very rare, especially for a woman. She said she embraced her sexuality very young and always enjoyed sex. Growing up most women are told to act like a lady, ladies don’t do that, let him take control when it comes to sex. So when a woman wants to get “buckwild” in the bedroom most of the time she doesn’t because she is constantly thinking about all of the things that she was told as a young woman.

I believe the older a woman becomes the more in tune she is with her body and because of that she is more uninhibited in the bedroom when it comes to sex. She knows how to please her man and is not afraid of showing it.

A mature woman knows and accepts that she has sexual desires, just like a man and it isn’t unlady like to express those desires when it comes to your man, it may even help you keep your man! A man loves a woman who embraces her sexuality and doesn’t hold back in the bedroom. Men love when their women take control in the bedroom and ladies if you only knew the power you had in the bedroom, you would embrace your sexuality with the quickness!

So ladies, I demand you to embrace your sexuality and show your man what you’re working with. Live out your fantasies, you’re wildest dreams and turn your man out!! Because if you don’t step up your game in the bedroom he might find another player to substitute you!

I’m just saying!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at .

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Self Sexual Gratification

This is a taboo subject to most, probably because most people do it and hate to admit to it. But if you think about it, most of us had our first sexual experience with ourselves, especially men. Men are more open about masturbation than women. However, today women are more open when it comes to sex period.  Today more and more women are exploring their sexual side than ever before. More women are hosting sex parties, experimenting with sex toys, and are more open about how they please themselves sexually. Times have changed, especially when it comes to sex, masturbation and ways to please by self sexual gratification.

There is no such thing as abnormal masturbation, according to the sexologists there is no abnormal way to masturbate because we are such diverse creatures it would be hard to define normal. Women and men masturbate in various ways. It could be with their hands, rubbing up against something, using sex toys, or household object, wear special clothing, fantasize, use porn magazines or look in the mirror.

Masturbation is the safest form of sex. You can’t contract a sexual transmitted disease. However, men have to be careful to not use too much pressure, force or pull too hard or they could injury themselves and cause damage to the skin of the penis. Women who like to push their sexual side to the limit must also be aware of not only their sexual tolerance level, but also their body tolerance level. Some women can get caught up in the heat of the moment and could do damage to their internal walls. Some women like to test their sexual tolerance when their masturbating and go much larger than what they are accustom to and can cause themselves great harm.   

Solo sex could be good because it teaches one about their body. It could also improve your sex life with your partner. You can teach your partner how to please you through self exploration. However, too much solo sex could also lessen your desire to have sex with your partner. Excessive masturbation may make you alienate your partner and could cause serious problems in your sex life.

Self sexual gratification is a great way to please yourself, improve your sex life with your partner and a great way to test your sexual limits when done in moderation. So please yourself don’t tease yourself!

I’m just saying.

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at .

Sunday, December 5, 2010

How to Tell When He or She is Just Using You?

Ladies, men too, do you only get a phone call when your mate is feeling frisky and needs to release some tension? Or always have an emergency and they need you to come get them, loan them some money or take them somewhere, but don’t need you to stay? If you answered yes to more than one of these scenarios consider yourself as being used!

Do you find that you are the one that is always giving and not receiving ( sexually, emotionally, physically, and monetary)? The only one who goes out their way to do something nice for your mate? Or the only one that is fulfilling your partner’s needs and it is not reciprocated? Again, consider yourself as being used!

Does he or she always seem to make up excuses as to why they can’t do anything for you, such as they can’t come get you because their car is down, they can’t help you out financially because they don’t get paid until Friday or they have child support money due, or come up with an excuse to break a date because it’s their turn to pay? Need I say it again, consider yourself as being used!

If they are always coming up with excuses for you to give them money, or you all have a joint bank account and you are the only one putting money in it and they are always taking money out of it, close that damn account immediately! Take charge of your life and stop trying to buy love.

I said it before and I will say it again, read the signs people. A relationship is all about reciprocity. If you find yourself always the one giving and never receiving then it’s not a relationship it’s a charity and guess who is making all of the donations? You!

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to :

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions

please contact her at

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Is Cheating a Choice, Not a Promise?

I was watching a movie the other day that was about a woman who had a 10 year affair on her husband. She made a statement in the movie that really resonated with me because it made me pause the movie and write the statement down. She asked her husband if he ever cheated on her and his response was he made a promise that he would never cheat on her. Her response was cheating is a choice not a promise. I wrote down that statement immediately because it really made me wonder is that really true? She went on to say no one can ever really make a promise that they wouldn’t cheat because one never knows how the heart may connect with another. WOW!

I was actually taking aback by that statement, but the more I analyzed it I found some legitimacy to that statement. It actually made me think of the song by Babyface and Pebbles “Love Makes Things Happens”. It’s a song that describes how one can never know when they may fall in love with someone even if they are already taken. It’s a verse in the song that says:

There's never a time

'Cause love will let you know

Love appears at the worst and even the best of times

Takes over your mind

Your heart is not your own

There's no way of controlling love

It controls your life

This leads me back to the question, “Is cheating a choice and not a promise?” Is there a way to control love or to avoid complicated love? Does the heart have a mind of its own? I know these are philosophical questions, but legitimate questions. I personally believe there is always a small window of opportunity everyday to make ourselves susceptible to a stranger’s love every time we walk out the door, turn on the computer or pick up the phone.

Is love controllable? That is a question for the experts to answer. However, I believe we all are responsible for our own actions. With that being said, I believe love can be suppressed especially if your heart already belongs to another. It is up to you to decide whether or not to take the road of the unknown. Love is powerful, but the brain is even more powerful. In some cases it’s better to think with your mind and not your heart.

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to:

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Scary Inconsistencies at U.S. Airport Security Checks


I had to write this letter because I am very troubled when it comes to the US airport security procedures. I have traveled several times in the last month for business, carrying the same personal items each and every time (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream). The first time I traveled my co-worker had her mouthwash and hairspray confiscated. I went through the detectors without a hitch, leaving and returning.

The second trip I had the same items that I always have (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream), leaving I went through security without a hitch. However, returning was a whole other nightmare. First, I had to go through the body scanner (no problem), get patted down (no problem) then my bag was searched, problem. No private room, just out in the public’s view for everyone to watch, my personal items was taken out of my bag, swabbed and my cocoa butter and facial wash was confiscated because it was more than 3 ounces.

Here is where I have a problem; I have been traveling with these same items every time I go to the airport. My question is, “Why is it that they were only confiscated now and not the numerous times before?” There are HUGE inconsistencies when it comes to US airport security. I have no problem with the body search or the body scanner, but I do have an issue when there are enormous inconsistencies when it comes to items being approved, checked and/or confiscated.

Now here’s the part that is going to blow you away (no pun intended) after going through the thorough search of my bag please explain to me why my facial cream, which was more than 3 ounces, not confiscated? So even when US airport security call themselves doing a “thorough” search by going through each item in your bag, they still neglected to confiscate items that are not allowed in carryon bags. I don’t know about you America, but I am scared to death when it comes to the US airport security. Another thing you have to think about is the “quality” of people that they hire to do this job. What really are the requirements? A high school education and a clear criminal background check? Let’s not get into the training issue.

So just to close out my horrific tale, I get on the plane and a woman who doesn’t speak English is in my seat. She checks are ticket, right seat, wrong plane JSMH (Just Shaking My Head!). Can someone please explain to me how this woman was able to get on this plane and none of the customer service reps didn’t notice she was getting on the wrong plane?

After 911 you would think the government would have trained professionals (military and or US agents) working at the airport when it comes to security. If the government can stick its nose into other industries to make them better, such as bailing out big corporations and banks, then why can’t the government stick its nose in when it comes to security at US airports?

I would like to have an experiment done where people intentionally put liquid or creams in their carryout bags that are more than 3 ounces and see how many of them get their bags checked, just to prove my point. Because currently it’s been 1 out of 4 times and the one time my bag was checked it still wasn’t properly checked.

Very Disturbed,

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Getting To Happy

I was reading the latest Jet Magazine and there was an article about Terry McMillan’s Waiting to Exhale sequel “Getting to Happy”. The title alone was very intriguing. She explained how the book picks up 15 years later where the first book left off. She went briefly into the summary of the book but really didn’t give specifics about it. But because I was so intrigued by the name I know I will pick it up and read it, but also because I enjoyed the first one so much I read it twice.

The title really made me think about what Terry was trying to say, “Getting to Happy”. A lot of women are afraid of getting to happy or programmed not to get to happy alone. So many women are so broken down from their previous relationships that they can’t let go and start anew with a worthy man. They build emotional barriers around themselves that won’t allow a man to penetrate it and then they end up losing out on a good thing.

This is an open letter to all of my sisters of all shades and colors don’t let one monkey stop the show, meaning don’t let a past mistake from a previous man stop you from finding real love with another or love for yourself period! Ladies we must learn our own self worth. Once we learn and appreciate our self worth we will attract good things and people into our lives.

We as women are emotional creatures by nature but sometimes we let our emotions filter over into areas of our live that could be detrimental to ourselves and our growth. We must learn to simply LET IT GO! Start anew and treat each day like the first day of the rest of our lives. Ladies let’s take back our power and learn to appreciate our self worth!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Love Behind Bars- Real or Convenient Love?

I had a reader ask me to write about this topic. She wanted to know if she should let her boyfriend move in with her once he gets out of prison? She made it clear that he doesn’t beat her and he is really a good guy, but had to go back to jail for failure to appear in court for a previous case? Huh?

My advice was no, actually hell no. I have to keep it real and I can’t sugar coat this important topic even if I wanted to. Look, here’s the deal. One, he had to do something to get a case slapped on him in the first place. Two, him not showing up to court for this case shows his lack of responsibility for himself and the lack of respect for the law.

When men are in prison the only power they have is with a pen and a pad and boy do they write the perfect story with these supplies. He will tell you all of the things he thinks you want and need to hear so you can continue to come visit him, put money on his books and hopefully give him a place to live once he is out. Men in prison play this game very well and unfortunately a lot of women believe the hype!

My advice to my reader was make him prove to you that he can be a responsible adult by getting and keeping a job and by getting his life back on track. But I also advised her to continue to do her in the interim, don’t stop living your life while he is trying to get his together! Don’t allow him to shack up because if you do he won’t have any motivation to get his life back on track. Know your worth and make sure that any man you’re with knows and appreciate your worth!!

I‘m just saying..

If you’re in the Philadelphia area and need support whether it’s for family support, support from other women or just daily life support go to this link:

C Double R!