Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why in the Hell Men and Women Don’t Understand Each Other?? – Communication

There is actually a logical reason why men and women do not understand each other when it comes to communication. According to Deborah Tannen, sociolinguist, and author of “Can We Talk” provides a clearer understanding why this is so. Per Tannen:

"For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with."

She goes on to say:

"Women want men to do what we want. We want them to want to do what we want, because that's what we do. If a woman perceives that something she's doing is really hurting a man, she wants to stop doing it. If she perceives that he really wants her to do something, she wants to do it. She thinks that that's love and he should feel the same way about her. But men have a gut-level resistance to doing what they're told, to doing what someone expects them to do. It's the opposite response of what women have." She reminds readers that, of course, there are men who are very helpful toward their women. "But if a man is going to be touchy, it's more likely to go in that direction. Whereas if a woman is insecure, she's more likely to go in the other direction, [and] be super- accommodating."

I have to agree. Women are emotional creatures and we like to express ourselves through words, whereas men are the opposite. Men like to keep talk to a minimum, they usually only like to discuss what is absolutely necessary and nothing more. So the next time your woman is trying to have a conversation with you, amuse her and join in and don’t act bored. Trust me, there are plenty of things we don’t like to do but as Tannen stated if we think it is something that you what us to do then we do it, not for us, but for you!

But a little advice to the women, don’t try to talk to your man during the game. This is the absolute worst time to try to talk to your man. Shit most men could care less about sex during these few hours the game is on. The best time is during pillow talk, right after you just finished serving him, because this is the time when most men are open to converse, especially if you laid it on his ass WELL!!!
I hope this shed a little light on that age old problem between men and women.

But I will ask you do you agree or disagree?

Food for thought!

C Double R

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Question for the Ladies and the Men: Do you believe in “Soul Mates”?

The term soul mate means many different things. These are souls that you have experienced with in past, parallel or future lifetimes. They can also be aspects of your soul experiencing at this time in another body. We are all multidimensional beings, your soul having experiences, in many realities, at the same time. As we all evolve from the same source of consciousness creation, we could say that we are all soul mates in a manner of speaking.
Soul mate is sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility. Soul mates can have various types of relationships, which do not always include romantic love. They can be close friends, co-workers, a teacher, anyone who influences your life one way or another. They play the emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental, games of third dimension with you. They can affect relationships in a positive or negative way depending on the emotional issues of the people concerned.
Souls often come together to work out issues or play reverse roles than that which they are experiencing elsewhere.
Anyone who is in your biological family, or adopted family, or pseudo-family, is a soul mate to you.
You feel closer to certain souls, because you have attracted them into your life as they are on the same frequency as you or because you want to work out issues with them.

** I am not sure if I personally believe in “Soul Mates”. However, I do believe everyone is brought into our lives for a reason and some are brought into our lives for a “specific” reason, it is up to us to figure out the reason and learn and grow from it** Isn’t that right Double D:)
Food for thought!

C Double R!

Monday, October 12, 2009

You Can’t Force a Man to Change! Period!

Today’s topic is all about change! Ladies, have you ever met that man and all you can say is “ Damn, he would be a good man only if..”? If he wasn’t such a womanizer, more caring, more giving, not so uptight, etc. One thing I’ve learned is that people will change because of one or two reasons; when there are ready to change or when they are forced to change. Example, if a man gets tired of sleeping with different women every night and having meaningless sex then he will eventually change his habits. If a man loses something that he really, truly cares about but doesn’t realizes it until after the fact, then he is forced to change, that’s if he doesn’t want the same results. Because only a fool continues to do the same thing and expect a different result!

Sometimes we have to let people learn and grow on their own and from their own mistakes and stop trying to force people to change. The bottom line is; if they don’t change for themselves then it’s just a temporary fix to a lifetime problem. Now, if a man truly wants to change then he will change when he is ready to change, not because someone else wants him to change.

Unfortunately, most people, especially men, don’t change until something detrimental in their life happens that forces them to change. If you have a man who is constantly throwing shade to those who he thinks is not on his level because they don’t roll like he roll, with the fancy car, big house, flashy clothes and the women, when he loses his job or doe and can no longer afford those fancy cars, clothes and women, he will think twice before he throw shade again. This kind of thing can change a man’s perception on life. Or, if you have a man who takes his wife for granted until she finally leaves him, that will make him think twice about what’s important to him and what is a priority to him in life.

I had a good friend once tell me that it’s one thing to hurt yourself, but when you hurt someone that you truly love that shit hurts like a mutha. This made them re-evaluate themselves and it forced them to take a deep dark look into the mirror and literally start making changes with the person in the mirror. They did this because they never wanted to hurt another person like that ever again in life especially when it is because of their own greed.

Bottom line is, you can’t make or force a person to change. A person has to change on their own and at their own pace. So you should either accept or reject that person as is, if you don’t have the patience to wait for them to change on their own. One thing for sure, two things for certain, if he really cares about you he will change own his own to keep you or he will be forced to change after you leave his ass because you had enough of his shit!!

I’m just saying.

C Double R