Thursday, May 24, 2012

Are you in a relationship or a situation?

Some people have the tendency to confuse these two words and in their defense they truly may not know the difference, so it is my job to help them understand the difference.

You are in a relationship when both parties mutually agree that they are in a relationship and not just one person “thinking” they’re in a relationship when it hasn’t been discussed with the other person. Just because you pack an overnight bag and stay at the other person’s house, doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship. Or just because you have a toothbrush at the other person’s house doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship with this person. If it hasn’t been openly discussed then don’t assume that you are in a relationship, because we all know what happens when people assume.

You may be in a “situation” if you are doing the aforementioned things and you never discussed your status with the other person. Ladies, and men too, don’t be too quick to change your relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” if you haven’t discussed it with the other person who is in this “alleged” relationship because you may be in for a rude awakening.

Now on the other hand, if it has been discussed by both partners and it’s mutually agreed that you all are in a “situation” and not a “relationship” and you are satisfied with that status then that is fine too. But if you are unsure of your current status them maybe it’s time you have that relationship discussion with the other person so you know exactly where you stand with that person, instead of assuming.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Loved Up, But Not Wifed Up!

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?

The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

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C Double R!