Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Who Are You Calling Grandma? Old Head in Denial Chick

If you’re over 40 and just got your 1st tattoo and it’s on your forearm, neck or wrist, you’re in denial. If you’re over 40 and still wearing 3 pairs of earrings, you’re in denial. If you’re 40-something and go to the clubs with your twenty-something daughter and her girlfriends you are in denial. If you’re 40 or over and still saying you’re trying to start your modeling career, you’re in denial.

This is usually a woman who was once fly, or thought she was fly in her hay day who now refuses to believe that she is not twenty anymore. She tends to date younger guys or date guys a couple years older than her and call them her “Suga Daddy” or “Old head”.

This woman tends to wear clothes that are two times too small. She usually shops in the Junior’s department as oppose to the Women’s department in the department stores. And yes, she watches every award show and reality show that comes on BET, MTV, and VH1.

Instead of keeping up with the Joneses she tries to keep up with the “Sheniquas”. She craves attention from the young bucks and tries to compete with the young girls. Yes, she loves the chicken wings from the corner Chinese store and wine coolers. She loves to keep her nails and hair did and tries to rock the latest fashions.

She still attends all of the rap shows and hangs out on the strip with the young bucks. She also embarrasses herself by trying to talk the latest street slang, not realizing that she sounds like a damn fool! She also tends to lie about her age, even if she doesn’t look her age she always takes the age thing a little too far. She could be 43 and look 30 but tries to pass herself off as 25!

She also wants to be her kids, especially her daughter’s girlfriend, and not their mother. She likes to keep herself in the present of young folks instead of folks her own age. Others see her as trying too hard, but she sees herself as a sexy young twenty-something!

She has very few girlfriends her age, and hardly no “real” friends. Most people see her as a joke. This kind of woman is usually from the hood and has spent most, if not, all of her life in the hood. She is always trying to prove how fly and how hip she is.

So men, you ask how can you detect this kind of woman, besides her appearance? If all she wants to talk about is the latest rap song, Jay Z, hating on Beyonce or know Lil Wayne’s rap songs word for word, she’s an old head in denial. If she rolls with a lot of young bucks, she is an old head in denial. If she eats chicken wings, pizza and burgers 6 days a week, and even prefers McDonald’s over a nice restaurant, she is definitely an old head in denial.

Hey, I’m just say……..

Monday, August 17, 2009

Question for my Ladies?

Ladies, when is it ok to give the new guy a break? Let me give you a mind’s visual. You meet a guy, he appears to be everything you’re looking for, secure financially, great personality, and all he wants to do (or claims) is make you happy. At what point do you give in and let him make you happy.

Unfortunately, I am a skeptic when it comes to men that seem a little too good to be true. I was always told if it sounds too good to be true then more than likely it is too good to be true. So my question is when do I allow this man to come into my life and try to make me happy?

I know the men are saying, “That’s what’s wrong with women, especially black women, we don’t recognize a good man when he is standing right in front of us.” My answer to all you men is, yes, most of you represent well, very well for the first 3 months or so, then soon after your representative leaves the building to never to be seen again. So I think I will definitely stick to the 90 day rule with this one. I feel as though, if the brotha is real and if he is all that he claims to be then it should be revealed in his actions. If he is displaying what he is saying then he is definitely a keeper. But if his walk don’t match is talk then he is full of sh*& and I am flushing it down the toilet.

I went to an interesting set on Saturday nite called Mars/Venus. It was a gathering of both men and women and we talked real sh*& when it came to male/female issues. The men asked the women questions that concerned them about women and women asked the men questions that concerned them about men. Then it was the Hot Topic question session, which could be answered by both men and women. At times it became very heated. Majority of the men questions were geared towards sex and most of the women questions had to deal with emotional issues. I left feeling the same way I came, men don’t know shi* about women and women will never understand that men have an insatiable desire for a variety of women. PERIOD!!

See, I am open minded and a realist. If this man happens to turn out to be all that he claims to be then I am willing to tolerant some of the male deficiencies, which is part of a man’s “make up”. However, some things that are intolerable are lack of honesty and loyalty. I have learned that if a man is loyal to you then he won’t lie to you. For loyalty encompasses honesty. Let me break it down so it can forever be broken. A man can be honest, but not loyal. But it is hard for a man to be loyal and not honest. See a man can cheat on you and be honest about it, but that doesn’t make him loyal. You feel me? Now, if a man is loyal then he won’t cheat on you because if he cheats then his ass is not loyal to you. Ladies, feel free to use that quote. But whatever you do always remember the difference between honesty and loyalty.

I need to find out if I am dealing with an honest man or a loyal man. That still remains to be seen. ’It’s been a month, so expect an update in two months to the day, October 17th to be exact!

Stay Tuned???


C Double R

Friday, August 7, 2009

Sure We Can Just Be Friends! – Undercover Psycho Chick!!

This one is an extremely interesting one. This is the chick that when you meet her and you explain to her that you are not interested in a relationship, just looking for someone to kick it with and chill with from time to time, says she’s cool with that. She doesn’t stress you about your time and whereabouts. You can talk freely to her about other women and she even talks to you about other men that she is seeing, it’s a real comfortable situation because you can come and go as you please, you both understand that this is not an open relationship, this is just a “cool ass situation”.

This is the chick that you can go to the movies with, take trips with, go to events with, with no strings attached. You know her family, she knows yours, and everybody knows that you two aren’t a couple, you all are just cool like that. Now in your head you don’t think nothing of it and continue to do your thing when it comes to seeing other women and just doing “you”. All the while this “buddy” of yours, that we will call your “Homie, Lover Friend” is scheming her ass off to reel your ass in and the hopes that she will eventually make you all hers! Yes, fellas, this is the chick that you have been telling your innermost feelings to, who knows you inside out, you put your trust in this woman because you truly see her as just a close buddy and you feel comfortable confiding in her you most deepest thoughts. All the while she is taking mental notes and hanging on to your every word.

I have a male friend who had a friend just like this. He had known this woman for years and she knew basically everything about him, from his personal information (social security#, address, work information) family and friends. This guy started getting prank calls about 4 years ago and it had gotten so bad that he tried to have them traced but the phone company was giving him a hard time about tracing the calls, he needed to get a police report and specific dates and times and then they told him he needed something else, so at that point he didn’t pursue it any longer. Besides, he was going overseas for a year and he decided to deactivate his phone while he was away in the hopes that when he gets back that the prank calls will stop. However, when he came home and reactivated his phone 2 days later the prank calls started again. Not only was this person calling him, but they also started calling women that he frequently spoke to, including me. This person would call my phone through the nite and sometimes 10-15 times in a row. Over a 6 month period this person had called me over 300 times. So I told him he better do something about it or I would. So eventually he went through the process of having the calls traced and low and behold it came back as a woman that he had been close to and dealing with for over 5 years. A woman whom he thought he had an understanding with, someone he thought he was cool with and had told some of his deepest thoughts to. He couldn’t believe it. Of course when he confronted her she tried to deny it, but when he put the proof in her face she finally admitted to him she did it and said she did it because he told her that he would never be with her like that. Aint that some bull shiggity!!

Here is a man, who thought he had an ace boom coon and instead he had a crazy ass psycho on his hands that was not only harassing him, but his female friends too! After he told her he was going to press charges if she continued to call she stole his phone, cell phone bill and the police report, basically all of the evidence, from his house. Then to top it off the crazy ass threaten to wreck his shit, meaning his job, the man’s livelihood! All of this because a man just wants to be cool with you, but not your man! Sorry, but bitch get a grip!! Aint no man is worth you losing your sanity and freedom!

So fellas, be cautious when a woman is a little too willing to be buddy-buddy after you tell her that you are not looking for anything serious. I’m not saying that all women have an ulterior motive when they say that they are cool with this because some women are truly cool with that, and I am one of them. That’s just because I am not in the habit of keeping men that don’t want to be kept. I figure if you’re not interested in me on that level but we vibe on another level, why get rid of a good thing especially if both of you are cool with the status.

My advice to the fellas is let the woman know as soon as you know if this situation is not for you or if your just not looking for a relationship. After you tell her, make mental notes, look for any changes in her attitudes, does she display what she say? Does she gets an attitude or cuts you off when you talk about other women? Is she always trying to monopolize all of your time? Does she use sex as a negotiating device? Because if her demeanor changes and she aint displaying what she is saying than you better stop playing. Nip the shit in the bud and keep it moving because the longer you stay in that situation the higher the probability that you are getting your ass into something that you may not be able to get out!!!
Just food for thought!

C Double R

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Crossover Chick – The “Me” Chick

Fellas, have you ever met that cool ass woman? Attractive, independent, down to earth, gets along with everybody and young women look up to her. She is admired by other women and men. She has been through it all, but here she stands, tall and dignified, looking flawless. When you meet this woman you can’t understand why she is single. She has everything to offer, but for some reason no one has scooped her up. Is it because she set her standards too high? Is it that she is just too damn busy for a relationship? Is it because she hasn’t met a man willing to keep it 100% real? It could be one or it could be all of the above reasons.

Fellas listen to me, for I am the woman that I just described. Most women who fit this classification are just tired. Period. We have experienced the high and the lows, the good and the bad, and we have to fight for everything we have with tooth and nail. When you constantly have to battle for everything it becomes a daunting task just to put yourself out there just to met another brotha who refuses to keep it 100% real.

When I do meet a man the first thing that I am asked is, “Why are you singled?” My truthful answer is probably because I haven’t met anyone that gets me. Period. I guess I am a cross between the Independent Chick, Keeping it Real Chick, and when I am in a relationship I will definitely be the Ride or Die Chick. It’s amazing sometimes when I met guys and I let them know from the gate that I don’t do lies. If you are married, broke, live with your momma and have three kids, or gay, I want to know. See Fellas, most of you have that bad habit which is a fatal flaw, LYING! Believe it or not most women want to know the truth, but very few can handle the truth, it’s a difference. I have been told I am a rare breed because I want to know the truth and I can definitely handle the truth. See, because at this point the man is giving me the option, not forcing me into a situation unbeknownst to me. I can truly appreciate a truthful brotha; in fact, I find that down right sexy. Now just because you are truthful don’t mean we are going to hit it off and run off and get married, but it lets me know that you’re a brotha that can put it out there no holds barred and let the chips fall where they may. The problem is, most men will and have tried to test me and they found themselves cut, with the quickness. Oh yeah, I have met the ones who tried to play the games and found themselves on the outside looking in. I have zero tolerance for the lies and the bullshit. If I keep it real with you, I expect for you to keep it real with me.

So you ask, “How do you know if a woman really wants to know the truth?” Test her. If she says she doesn’t mind that you have 5 kids then let her meet your 5 kids and take a day trip and you will know if she is straight up. If she says she doesn’t mind that you’re unemployed, time will tell if this shit really bothers her. If she says she doesn’t mind that you have the body of Atlas, but your penis hangs like a light switch, you will know, trust, a woman can only fake so many orgasms. And if after all of this, she doesn’t change then she is a woman who really wants to know the truth and can handle the truth. Again, this woman is a rare breed, but they do exist.

I believe your experiences in life, along with age, molds what type of person you will eventually become in life. I am a realist and allergic to bullshit. I am also very in touch with my woman’s intuition, that’s definitely a gift from God. I can get a vibe about a man almost instantaneously; maybe that’s why I’m single. (Smile).. So fellas, I say this to say if you are truly feeling a woman and truly want something to happen with this woman, then keep it real! If she is the one for you then she will be the one for you, regardless what you tell her, as long as you keep it real. I know plenty of men thinking about coulda, woulda and shouldas, because they couldn’t keep it real with their lady.

Men, there are women out there who want to know the truth and can handle the truth, the question is, are you willing to offer the truth?

Food for thought.


C Double R.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Father in You-Mary J Blige

I wanted to do something a little different with this posting. I wanted to post the lyrics to one of my favorite Mary J. Blige's song, " Father in You". So fellas, I hope you check out the lyrics and really understand the words and maybe it will help you understand why all women need a man.


C Double R

Father In You lyrics

Can I talk to you, baby

When I was a little girl
I didn't have a father
And that's why I'm leaning on you..
When I was a baby
I didn't get a hug from daddy
That's why I need a hug from you..

Ohh, It's not easy and
I thank you for putting up with me
When you don't have a daddy's love

To say that you...
To say that I'm your little girl
(Are his little girl, Oh why didn't you love me)
And give you the love..(I need love yeah yeah yeah)
you really deserve (And i believe I deserve it And that's why

That's why I need, The father in you
(I need the father in you, baby)
That's why I need, (Please don't hurt me please)
The father in you
That's why I need (Oh that's why)
The father in you (Really need you)
That's why I need (Please be true)
The father in you

Oh, things got bad, to the point
Where mommy couldn't hold us down
And that's when it hurt me so much
To see her, To see her cry
(Oh don't cry, momma don't cry momma)
Each and every night
(We're gonna be alright that's what I used to say)
I said that some day
That I would try to take his place
But it was too hard;
It was so hard trying to be a man and a woman
And that's why I need the father in you

That's why I need, (oh I needed)
The father in you, (I put my trust on you)
That's why I need, (Please don't let me domn)
The father in you.
That's why I need,
The father in you (I need the father in you)
That's why I need (Hold my hand)
The father in you


Because we never had one at home
(No No No) As a little girl...
So I understand, why daddy couldn't be there
Cause it's so obvious nobody taught him, how to be father to me
Oh and I'm not sayin this
to reminisce on the past
I'm just saying this to make you understand, That I needed a father
And this is my problem
This is why I couldn't keep no one
This is why I couldn't stay alone
I was so scared alone
Every woman needs a man
And I don't think she understands
That she really needs a father
The father in you, my brother
She really needed the father
The father in you.
When your wife is speaking fellas
Pay attention,Yeah,don't ignore her
No,no,no I really need the father in you.