Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Straw That Broke the Camel’s Back

Even the strongest person has their limits. If you’re constantly tested at some point you are going to raise the white surrender flag, especially when it comes to relationships. When you enter into a relationship with someone you’re not just in a relationship with them you’re also in a relationship with their family, friends, children, and their past.

He or she could be the best thing you ever met and mean nothing but good to you, but if the external relationships start to eat into your internal relationship it could wreak havoc. No matter how much you all love each other if the external relationships are constantly interfering with your relationship it will ultimately damage, or worst, end your relationship.

When you’re in a relationship with someone that you love you try your best to overlook the external things that interfere with your relationship, you try to pick and choose your battles wisely. However, when you have several external factors that cause friction in your relationship simultaneously when do you walk away?

Do you try to stick it out because you know these external interferences are out of your mate’s control and stand by him or her and fight these battles together as a team or walk away? This is never an easy choice, especially if you truly love your mate. But at the end of the day you have to decide what is best for you. If you think these interferences are only temporary and will eventually end, whether it’s a financial, job or a family situation then it’s worth it to try to stick it out. But if you know these problems will be forever ongoing then my advice is to cut your losses and walk away before you can’t walk away because you’re pulled in too deep.

Relationships are never easy and when you have external factors that add chaos to the situation it could make something that once seem so small into a huge unbearable mess. This is when you have to ask yourself, “Is this the straw that broke the camel’s back?”

I’m just saying

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

It’s ok to tell him that you need him


             Ladies, sometimes we have a hard time letting our partners know how much we really need them, especially independent women. Unfortunately, I must say I am guilty of this. I believe it is a condition that s developed by no fault of our own. When a person, especially a woman, has been independent for so long it’s not in her nature to ask for help when she needs it. If she is use to putting gas in her car, carrying her groceries, taking out the trash or changing light bulbs it’s difficult to stop these habits sometimes without being asked.

When a woman has been forced to be independent or is driven to be independent we forget that it’s ok to ask for help and to get help from our significant others. But sometimes the word “need” is too strong for independent women to use even when they know they should. It’s not because they don’t want the help it’s usually because they are not use to asking or requiring help. So, men don’t take it personal if she doesn’t ask for your help even when you know she can use it.

The best thing a man can do when he wants to help this kind of woman is to just jump in and help because nine times out of ten she will not solicit your help. If she is washing clothes, fold them when they come out of the dryer. If she cooks clean up the kitchen. If her car is on “E” fill up the tank and run it through the car wash. If there are things that need to be fixed or repaired around the house and you can fix or repair them just do it. These are the small things that really mean a lot, especially if she is a busy woman.

It’s not always the financial help that is important but the helping of a hand that is important to the independent woman. As Jill Scott sings in her beautiful song “I Need You”:

I can pay my own light bill baby

Pump my own gas in my own car

I can buy my own shoe collection

I've been blessed thus far

I can kill the spider above my bed

Although it's hard because I'm scared

I can even stain and polyurethane

But some things just don't change

I need you yeah

Sometimes so hard to say oh

I need you

So, to all of my independent women it’s ok to say I need you. It doesn’t make you less independent it just makes you more human.

I’m just saying

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