Never Take Someone You Care About for Granted

Ladies or fellas have you ever dated a person and they always thought you would be available to them no matter what? Yes, you all vibe and have a great time and see each other when you see each other but never no commitment.  But we ALL know this situationship can’t last forever. Eventually someone is gonna catch feelings and will want to take it to the next level. So what do you do?

I personally believe closed mouths don’t get fed. If you have developed feelings for someone you would only be cheating yourself if you didn’t address it. At least by addressing it you will have an answer either way. But please be prepared for all possible answers. If you get an answer that you are not happy with then you need to make the decision on whether or not this is something you want to continue. 

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to walk away from someone before they can truly appreciate you. I had a girlfriend who had to do this very thing. She was dating a man on and off for several years and when she was ready to get serious he wasn’t so she dated him until she couldn’t anymore. She met someone and was in a relationship for several years and when that ended she somehow relinked up with the previous guy and he explained to her how it hurt him to see her with another man and he always thought he had time with her and he realized he didn’t. They have since married and been happy for years now.

This outcome is not always typical, usually once a ship sails it’s gone. So my advice would be if you care for someone don’t wait until someone else snatches them up to confess your feelings to them. Confess your feelings when you have them or discover them or you could end up being that mouth that doesn’t get fed.  

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS by C Double R on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please
email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com 

A Spouse Who Enables Makes for a Spouse Unstable

 

Is Texting Hurting Your Chances at a Relationship?

As our society continues to change so does the way we communicate. But the question is, is it for the better or for the worst? Do you miss the good old days when someone you were interested in called you and you would get excited when their name would pop up on the caller id? Or go back a little further and remember the days when you would get home and you would have a message from that special someone waiting for you on your answering machine. Are those days now obsolete? We currently live in an age where everything is communicated via text even in the work place. I remember when my new coworker sent my boss a text to tell her she wouldn’t be in that day. I thought that was so inappropriate to text your boss to tell them you weren’t coming to work but little did I know that would be the “new” form of communicating to our boss. We are slowly but surely losing the “true” form of communication. The “personal” element of communication is being lost in the form of texting. Now don’t get me wrong, texting is great if you want to send a quick message but it should never take the place of a meaningful phone call nor should it be the primary source of communication, especially when you’re trying to get to know someone. Texting can also be viewed as a slippery slope. You can very well text someone while participating in “behavior” you should not be taking part in all the while giving off the illusion that you are solely thinking about the person you are texting. Hence, if your significant other calls you and you don’t answer because you’re doing “something” that you know you shouldn’t be doing you can text them back and say “I’m in a meeting. I’ll call you when I get out”. In this scenario, you have satisfied your significant other (to some degree) because you acknowledged the call and stated why you couldn’t answer and will call them back as soon as you are available. It’s a slippery slope because in all reality you could really be in a meeting and your significant other may think otherwise. My advice is if you’re truly trying to get to know someone you should put forth the conscience effort to at least call more than you text. Most importantly don’t hold long in depth conversations via text messages. Some of us truly do like the good old days when we could hear someone’s voice and listen to the inflections in their voice which would give off signs of how they truly felt when they said something, unlike a text message that can be misconstrued because you can’t put emotions into a text message. Bottom line… pick up the damn phone! I‘m just saying.. C Double R Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When does sensitivity turn into too sensitive for men?

Ladies, I understand we ALL love when a man shows his sensitive side it allows us to see his emotional side. This is rare for most men because so many of them have been raised to not show this side especially when it comes to their significant other. Most men are raised to protect, honor and love their woman and family and never let them see them cry. On the other hand, you have some men who have no problem showing their sensitive side and in some cases they show it more than their woman. The question then becomes when does sensitivity turn into bitchassness?

Ladies, how do you communicate to your man that he is being too sensitive? On one hand you’re impressed that he feels comfortable enough with you to share his emotional side but on the other hand when he starts crying or wining more than you that’s when you might ask yourself how do I tell him to man up without being insensitive?

It’s a fine line when it comes to the subject “sensitivity and men”. We as women must know when and how to communicate with our man when we feel like he is being overly sensitive without emasculating him. If you start to see a pattern with his response when it comes to certain situations try to change up your approach and if he is still overly sensitive then that’s when you have to have that conversation with him. If he becomes even more sensitive when you address the issue then perhaps at that point you should realize maybe he’s just not the man for you.

Don’t get me wrong men, a good cry every now and then is a good thing, but if your man is crying more than you and is constantly wining about every little thing then maybe you two should just be shopping partners and not life partners.

I'm just saying.

C Double R

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Why there are different grace periods for men and women

Men, let’s be honest women naturally take longer than men to get ready for a date. Therefore, by now you all should be used to our tardiness. Does it make it right? No. But I am here to say it is definitely not intentional.
This is an issue that I have been working on my entire adult life.

I had a very interesting conversation this past weekend with some friends and we stumbled upon the topic of what is a sufficient amount of time to wait if your date is running late, 15 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour? I said it depends, but there is definitely a different grace period for men than women. I have no problem if a date is running late because we all know things happen. My problem is when you’re late and you DO NOT notify me that you’re running late. That’s a no no! Therefore, if you are running late and you do not notify me then you will get a fifteen minute grace period and then I’m out. However, if you call and you tell me you’re stuck in traffic or something justifiable then I will give you the benefit of the doubt and will give you a 30 minute grace period. If you’re going to be later than that then we should just reschedule the date.
The men were a little bit more generous with the grace period. The men said they would give a 30 to 45 minute grace period if she did not notify him that she was running late. Their justification: they hate public embarrassment and humiliation. Therefore, they are willing to wait a little longer in hopes that she would eventually show and save him the public humiliation.

No man or woman likes public humiliation and I truly believe that’s why women tend to arrive a little later than men in the hopes that he is already there and she doesn't have to sit and wait for him. In addition, often women like to make a grand entrance in some cases. But we all know women indeed take longer to get ready for a date than men. If you take any poll they will all reveal that women take twice, if not, three times longer to prep for a date than men.

So the very next time you plan for a date please keep these things in mind. Women tend to take longer than men, but it is also impolite and rude to not notify your date that you’re running late, regardless if it’s 10 minutes or 30 minutes. No one likes to be stood up especially in public.

I’m just saying.

C Double R

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Dispelling The 90 Day Rule

If you survive and get past the first date and things start to progress, fantastic! However, don’t put pressure on you or your potential new mate. Take it slow. Right now you may be asking yourself should I follow the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule to increase your chances of having a potential successful relationship? My answer will be a resounding NO! For those of you how are not familiar with the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule let me give you a quick overview. Steve Harvey believes there should be no sex prior to 90 days of meeting/dating someone. He believes this should be enough time to see whether or not you are compatible and if you have a future with someone. He believes having premature sex can alter the way you feel about someone which can result in convoluted thoughts which can mask the reality of your relationship. Basically, he believes sex gets in the way of forming a real bond with a person if you have it prior to the first 90 days of getting to know someone. Really, Steve?

Let me give you my reason why I don’t believe in the 90 Day Rule Theory and why it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because when you’re trying to form a relationship the focus should be based on the “connection and bond” that you form not the amount of days that you know each other before you decide to have sex. So what happens on the 91st day? You can have intimate relationships because you two survived the first 90 days and everything here on out is golden? I don’t think so.

This is the biggest flaw in Steve Harvey’s theory. One should focus on the continuity, attraction, similar interests and beliefs you have with a person and not the amount of time that you spend with a person. My recommendation is to throw the calendar out the window when dating! We usually know in a relatively short period of time if we could have a “potential” relationship with someone and at other times we know when we don’t have a connection with someone.

There are usually four steps in a meaningful relationship: dating, courting, engagement and marriage. Does it mean that you shouldn’t have sex in the dating phase? Absolutely not, again, it’s about the connection and not about the calendar. There is no one blueprint when it comes to dating. Each dating experience is different.

Am I saying you should jump someone’s bones when you first meet just because there is a physical attraction? No, but what I am saying is learn to “discover” a person before you undress a person. This could happen in 30 days, 90 days or maybe 120 days there is no one “date” on the calendar or no magical number of days that is ubiquitous which determines when you should sleep with someone. That is just a ridiculous theory.

Remember, if you keep your focus on the connection, beliefs and similarities that you have with a person as oppose to the calendar I guarantee you the chances of you having a successful relationship will be much greater.

KEEP THE CALENDAR OUT OF YOUR DATING LIFE!

I'm just saying!

C Dub R

If you have any questions for C Double R please email cdoubler2@gmail.com Also don't forget to pick up her suspense book REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com or Amazon