Saturday, May 22, 2010

Menage a Trois - Is it Worth the Risk?

This is the ubiquitous fantasy of almost every man. Men have been fantasizing about this fantasy since the beginning of time and from the start of their puberty. Every time I ask a man what is his biggest sexual fantasy the first thing that comes out of his mouth is a ménage a trois, that’s if they haven’t acted on the fantasy yet. I do know men who have admitted to acting out this fantasy with either one of their buddies or two women.

I have been told if this is a fantasy that you want or planning on fulfilling it shouldn’t be with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or truly care about because you may run the risk of having your fantasy back fire on you. I had a buddy tell me that he dated this woman who helped him live out this fantasy, she had sex with him and two other women, a couple of his boys on several occasions. When she found out that he was getting married she asked him why wasn’t he marrying her and he simply stated, “I can’t married you, you slept with my boys.” At this point, she could have been Michele Obama, Halle Berry or had everything going on for herself but because he knew she slept with his boys and he was a participant in the act he lost all respect for her.

Now on the flip side, if you do carry out this fantasy with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or really care about you may find yourself left out in the cold when it’s all said and done. You may hound your woman for months at a time or even years to help fulfill this fantasy of yours and then when she finally grants your wish she could get turned out by the third party, it could be male or female and mess around either leaving or cheating on your ass with the very person you begged to bring into your bedroom. So, be careful for want you wish for because you just might get it and in the end you may be on the outside looking in.

I was told this is something that you want to do with a woman who is just your buddy and have no intentions on getting serious with or someone you’ll never see again, like someone that you and your buddy meet on vacation. I was told if a man ask you to do this then he really doesn’t have respect for you or isn’t trying to make you “wifey”. Men, is this true? What if your woman is hounding you to do a ménage a trois does this means she really doesn’t care about you, or is she just a freak?

I’m just saying?

C Double R!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Don’t Let Other People’s Negativity Stop Your Productivity

I think we have to learn to differentiate “hate” versus “lack of faith” when it comes to other people’s opinions about us. Some people may bad mouth you out of hate. They could be “hating” on you because they are envious or jealous of what you are doing or trying to do. Then others may not be supportive because of their lack of faith not only in themselves, but also in others.

Let’s start with the lack of faith people. Some people may not believe in your mission because of your past, your upbringing or maybe because they have tried what you are currently doing and failed at it! A particular song that comes to mind when I think of this kind of person is Marvin Sapp’s “The Best in Me”. He sings how when everyone else around him saw the worst in him God saw the best in him. Hence, always believe in yourself and don’t let others sway you or deter you from accomplishing your goals.

Now let’s talk about the “Haters”. This is an amusing bunch. When you have people talking itsh about you most of the time it’s because they are hating, period! Mad because they are not getting the shine. Feeling small because they don’t have the guts to do what you are doing. Jealous because they want to be in your shoes! The best way to overcome this negativity and focus on your productivity is by letting this be the fuel that keeps your fire going. I’ll go back to my Kat Williams saying, “If you have 5 people hating on you in the Spring then it’s your job to have 15 by the ending of the Summer!” Shake it off and keep it moving.

It’s funny when the haters try to tear you apart by saying negative things about you. When men hate on other men (which I find very “How You Doin” in my Wendy Williams voice) it’s usually something about his personal attire, looks or woman. When women hate on other women it is almost always, always about her personal appearance. Women love to tear other women apart and when they do they go straight for the personal appearance whether it’s her hair, clothes and yes, can’t forget the shoes!

The biggest motivation is to surround yourself with people who share the same goals, desires and dreams as you. If you surround yourself with positive people the probability of having a positive outcome is more likely. As I say, let the Haters hate and let their negativity encourage your productivity!

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Embarrassing Intimate Moments

This is a very delicate and uncomfortable situation that some of us have faced a time or two. I must first say big ups to Double D for giving me this topic to talk about. Have you ever been in an “intimate” situation that went to the left because of au naturel body appearance/odor or because of an insufficient package?

I am quite sure that most of you have heard of the saying, “Sometimes it’s better to admire from afar”, because sometimes being up close and personal is not always cracked up to be what you thought it would be. I had a girlfriend tell me that when she was in college it was this guy that all of the women wanted to get with. He was a football player and had the body of Atlas. Broad shoulders and strong muscle arms that could lift you up in one swoop and he wasn’t bad to look at either. When the guy was introduced to her he was feeling her and of course she was feeling him so after a few months of knowing each other she decided to give in and let’s just say he didn’t fit in where he could get in. That destroyed the Atlas image she had of this dude. However, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, because it happened after a night of drinking. Unfortunately, when it happened the second time it ended up with the same result and she never saw dude again.

I had a guy friend tell me that he worked with a female that all of the men use to drool over. He said she was stacked like a Brickhouse, very shapely and fit. He stated they would flirt with one another and one day it escalated to the point to where she ended up at his house and he knew it was about to go down. He said as soon as he started to take her clothes off everything just instantly dropped and cellulite was all over her body. He said her clothes was literally keeping everything in place and in shape. So he made up an excuse to break out and shut it down as fast has he could. After that he kept the flirting to a minimum and made excuses when she tried to holler at him.

So in some cases is it better to admire from afar? Sometimes the fantasy is better than reality or worst, sometimes reality can turn your fantasy into a nightmare. But the question is once you’re in that situation how do you proceed? If you start getting intimate with someone you thought you were attracted to until they take their clothes off and it’s a turn off, do you offer courtesy sex or make an excuse and break the hell out? I guess you really couldn’t answer this question until you are facing this situation, or could you?

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Display What You Say! Or Shut the Hell Up!

Are you the type of person who displays what you say? Or are you all mouth and no action? Nothing pisses me off more than having someone talk a lot of itsh, but can’t or won’t back it up. I can’t stand a person, especially a man who talks about how he’d going to do this and how he’s going to do that but won’t do one thing to make it come to fruition. This type of man has little to no chance with me because I am all about the action!

The other thing is when people reach out to you, unsolicited and say they are going to do something but never do it. WTF? Why reach out to me if you have no intentions on displaying what you’re saying? Is it to pacify my ego or to make you feel or look like a big shot? One thing I don’t need is pacification and I definitely don’t need someone offering their services if they don’t intend on providing them, this goes for man or woman.

Word is bond for most people. Some people will go for broke before they break their word. Your word is attached directly to your reputation and your character. So think before you speak. If you have no intentions on doing something, or you would like to do something but not sure if you can do it, then keep your damn mouth closed! Nobody likes a storyteller (in my 8 year old son’s voice), yes, it’s good to dream and it looks good when you’re trying to be the good guy or girl, but when you don’t follow through it just makes you look like a liar. Sorry it is what it is!

So just a few words of advice if you know you can’t do something or not sure if you can do something then just don’t offer to do it, period! Trust me, it will make your life a whole lot easier and it will help to keep your reputation and character intact.

I‘m just saying..

C Double R!.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Demand Respect and You Will Get Respect!!!

Why is it that we can be strong and have a “no-nonsense” attitude when it comes to our children, job and family, but when it comes to our man some of us are deficient? Yes, ladies it is time to discuss this topic. It’s time for REAL TALK when it comes to our men.

We can run a business, a household, and be Suzy Homemaker, but when it comes to our man we don’t demand the respect that we deserve. As the old saying goes “A closed mouth doesn’t get feed”. And once you open your mouth make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say because actions speak louder than words. I have come to learn that a man will only do what you allow him to do. If you are all bark and no bite then your man will continue to act like a dog.

If you catch your man cheating or have evidence that he is cheating and you address it and he continues to do it, then the foolishness is on you. If you address it and warns him if it happens again you’re out and it happens again and you are still sharing the same bed then the foolishness is really on you! Because at that point you have given him carte blanche to do whatever with whomever because now he knows there are no consequences to suffer.

Ladies that’s why it is imperative to say what you mean and mean what you say! If you tell your man that you will leave his ass if he acts up and he acts up anyway then do it! If you tell your man that he has one more chance and that’s it and he messes up again, make it the last time and bounce! Yes, I said “again”, no one is perfect and even the best of the best mess up from time to time, but if it is something or someone worth having then, trust me, it will be reflected in that person’s actions. Men will only do what we allow them to do. Men will only get away with what we let them get away with. Trust me, if a man really wants to be with you and you display what you say, trust me, he won’t violate that trust or try to test you! We may not be able to change a man but we can definitely bring out the best in a man, sometimes I think we forget how much power we have when it comes to men.

So ask yourself ladies is your mouth close or are you getting feed, but not displaying what you’re saying?

Just food for thought….

C Double R!!