Thursday, March 31, 2011

Work Spouse or Code for Secret Lover?

This is a phrase that is overused in today’s workplace. When some opposite sex employees work closely together they have the tendency to call each other “work spouse”. Mmm, what exactly does that mean? Does the work wife pack the work husband’s lunch, give him massages when he’s tensed, or is this a woman that he disagrees with so much it feels like he’s working with his wife?

I think people should really examine this phrase before they use it. Now let’s flip the script. What if your spouse came home and said, “Babe, let me tell you what my work spouse did today that pissed me off.” How would you feel about this statement?

Wife and husband are two words that should not be used lightly, so why are people so carefree to describe their coworkers with these words? Are these words used in a jokingly way or a subliminal way? So the next time you chose to call your opposite sex co-worker your “work” spouse really think about how that makes your real spouse feel. Or is it another reason why you refer to this person as your “work spouse”?

I know in majority of cases it is a term used in a jokingly way, but it may not be so jokingly to your co-worker’s real spouse, just something to think about before you start using this term so loosely.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Is Your Fantasy Your Reality?

I had a reader ask me this very question. He said he overheard his wife and her girlfriend discussing their fantasies and some of them were to have sex with a strange man. He wanted to know are they just fantasies or is this something that women eventually act out? Well, that depends on the woman.

Most women fantasize, but most women don’t act out their fantasies. A lot of women live vicariously through other people or things to fulfill their fantasies. They could live them out by watching porn, through their girlfriend’s sexual escapades, erotic books or by being a voyeur.

Believe it or not, your wife’s fantasies could add a little spice to your sex life. She could act out her fantasies by role playing with you. You could be that tall dark stranger that she fantasizes about and have the best sex ever.

So men don’t hate, participate, help your wife act out her fantasies to ensure that she doesn’t try to act them out with someone else. The mind is a power thing and just because we think about something doesn’t necessarily mean that we will act it out. Sometimes it’s refreshing to live vicariously through our fantasies, we all do it and we all have them.

However, if your mate is not sexually satisfied and continuously have an insatiable desire for sex, this can increase the probability of her acting out her fantasies with a stranger. Communication is key. Talk to your mate about her fantasies, ask her why they turn her on and try to help her live them out, with you. You may discover something about your mate you didn’t know before and like it! Better yet, you may discover something about yourself and love it!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Be a Woman and Man Up!

Why is it that we can be strong and have a “no-nonsense” attitude when it comes to our children, job and family, but when it comes to our man some of us are deficient? Yes, ladies it is time to discuss this topic. It’s time for REAL TALK when it comes to our men.

We can run a business, a household, and be Suzy Homemaker, but when it comes to our man we don’t demand the respect that we deserve. As the old saying goes “A closed mouth doesn’t get feed”. And once you open your mouth make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say because actions speak louder than words. I have come to learn that a man will only do what you allow him to do. If you are all bark and no bite then your man will continue to act like a dog.

If you catch your man cheating or have evidence that he is cheating and you address it and he continues to do it, then the foolishness is on you. If you address it and warns him if it happens again you’re out and it happens again and you are still sharing the same bed then the foolishness is really on you! Because at that point you have given him carte blanche to do whatever with whomever because now he knows there are no consequences to suffer.

Ladies that’s why it is imperative to say what you mean and mean what you say! If you tell your man that you will leave his ass if he acts up and he acts up anyway then do it! If you tell your man that he has one more chance and that’s it and he messes up again, make it the last time and bounce! Yes, I said “again”, no one is perfect and even the best of the best mess up from time to time, but if it is something or someone worth having then, trust me, it will be reflected in that person’s actions. Men will only do what we allow them to do.

Men will only get away with what we let them get away with. Trust me, if a man really wants to be with you and you display what you say, trust me, he won’t violate that trust or try to test you! We may not be able to change a man but we can definitely bring out the best in a man, sometimes I think we forget how much power we have when it comes to men.

So ask yourself ladies is your mouth close or are you getting feed, but not displaying what you’re saying?

Just food for thought….

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Never Let Them See You Sweat!!

Ladies, I know at times it is very hard for us to hold our tongue. Especially when you know someone is pushing all of the right buttons to make you lose your cool, and they know it. Unfortunately, most times than not, we fall for the bait and prove their point. Yes, I too, have been guilty of this. But the older and wiser I get I realize when we respond in the opposite manner than what they are expecting this really messes them up in the head! At this point they are shook and don’t have a comeback because they only prepared their speech or their reactions for an angry, ignorant person not a smart, cool-minded person.

Just remember once you lose your control you give the other person the power. I have been told by numerous people that I am emotionless or have an “I don’t care attitude”, but the truth of the matter is I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. If you have defeated me, gotten the best of me, or hurt me, nine times out of ten you would never know. I have learned to take “It is what it” attitude. If it is something or someone I can’t change, why bother? The bottom line is, “I don’t stress and won’t digress so I can be about of someone else’s mess.”

The other benefit is sometimes the whole situation can become very amusing, and at the other’s expense. Because in most cases, the calmer you get, the madder they get, then they really look like a jackass! If you don’t believe me, try it yourself. If you run across a person who calls themselves putting you on blast or telling you off, just remain calm and respond and a nonchalant manner and check out their reaction, PRICELESS.

Just to my ladies, we as black woman, unfortunately have earned the stereotype as having the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” and unfortunately, sometimes we live up to this stereotype and in most cases rightly so. But I will say this to my ladies, I know it can be very hard to restraint our tongues from saying some very harsh things, but if we could just use this reaction as a last resort or no resort at all I guarantee you that we would see a better outcome of the situation. However, I must say sometimes people leave you no choice but to bring out the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” on that ass. But if you have to use it, ladies please use it wisely.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!