Monday, February 27, 2012

Watch the company that you keep – misery loves company

This goes for both ladies and men, watch the company you keep because misery loves company. It could be anything such as your love life, your success in life or your physical appearance. Have you ever noticed, especially when it comes to women, how your single girlfriends always have something to say about you and your man’s relationship? But she hasn’t been in a relationship for years and the ones that she has been in didn’t go past 3 months. Or why is it that it is always your plump friend that notices when you gain a half a pound and call you on it? Or your unemployed friends who always make negative comments about your job? WTH!

That’s why it’s important to watch the company that you keep. If you have friends that are extremely negative about everything and never have anything nice or complimentary to say, I say cut them and cut them quick. This is a sign of a person who is so miserable with their own life that they want you to be just as miserable, if not more. Women tend to be more catty than men, but there are guys out there who also player hate and don’t give props when they are due.

One thing I have learned is that you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped and you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed. You can lead a horse to water but he won’t drink it unless he is thirsty. People who are constantly negative about others usually have very low self-esteem and they try to pump themselves up by degrading others.

If this sounds like someone you know, step back and walk away. But before you do let them know, “Watch the back you chew out because you may need it one day to carry you.”

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

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Friday, February 3, 2012

Courtesy sex

Recently I learned of something called “Courtesy Sex”, not to be mistaken for a Booty Call. Let me break it down so it can forever be broke. A Booty Call is when someone calls you (It can be a man or a woman making the call) either asking you to come over or asking to come over to have sex, but it is not considered a Booty Call if the call takes place before midnight.

Courtesy Sex is when a person (usually a man) has sex with someone out of pity. You may be asking, then why have sex if you really don’t want to have sex with the person? Well, the reason being is because they usually have a history with the person. I was out with a male buddy the other day and he explained it perfectly to me. He told me back in the day he used to date this petite pretty girl who had a banging body and he used to love to have sex with her. Recently he ran into her again. Unfortunately, one of her relatives passed away and she was in town for the funeral. He said the first moment she had him alone she asked when was he going to give her some? She told him she rehearsed this moment in her mind for almost twenty years. He said she damn near cornered him against the wall and started taking her clothes off. He said she was no longer the small petite woman he was attracted to, but he literally said, (his words not mine) she looked like a little bowling ball, round and short. So of course I asked, “Did you give her Courtesy Sex?” and of course he said yes, but he never told anyone because he still couldn’t believe that he did it.

I had several male friends tell me they had Courtesy Sex because they didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. Most of the men had a previous relationship or a sexual history with the women and that is why they had Courtesy Sex. I had one man tell me he had mutual Courtesy Sex with his ex. He stated that they knew it was over and they both agreed to have sex one last time before he moved out. I think that’s different because at least in this case both parties knew the situation. However, when you are the one giving the Courtesy Sex nine times out of ten you’re the only one who knows about the Courtesy Sex situation.

So my question is, why not just say no? Seriously, I rather have a man tell me that he’s just not attracted to me like that anymore, or shit, just straight out lie to not have sex with me because the last thing I want is some Courtesy Sex from a man who is not attracted to me anymore. It’s just not that deep for me.

I’m just saying…

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to :

C Double R!

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The First Date Jitters- Do’s and Don’ts

It really doesn’t matter if you are 21, 31, 51 we all have first date jitters. We all run through the gamete of emotions; excitement, nervousness, and ambiguity when it comes to the first date. Why, because no one really knows what to expect from a first date. It’s as if we become obsessed with the unknown, will we have anything in common, will we click, will he bore me, and how can I cut the date short if I don’t like him? These are all of the questions that run through our heads right before that first date.

Well here are a few things that you should and shouldn’t do on a first date. First, relax. Keep in mind that this is “only” a date, not a job interview. You do not have to bring your resume or three references with you on the date. Besides, something had to attract you to this person in the first place or you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation for a date, not unless it is a bind date, and even so, the same rules apply.

Try to have fun even if there isn’t a love connection. This is still a leisure activity that you planned, so make the best of it. The person may not be your soul mate but he or she could turn out to be a very good friend. Give it a chance. Don’t cut the person off right away if there isn’t an instant attraction to this person. Some of the best and longest marriages have derived from great friendships.

Go on the date with an open-mind. Do not go on the date with a negative attitude. Don’t look for reasons or make up reasons not to like this person without getting to know the person. Some of us can self-sabotage our own happiness because we are too afraid of being happy or worst, the unknown.

Try to plan an activity that you enjoy; biking, bowling, or dancing just in case the person is not what you expected, at least you can still enjoy the activity of the date. Remember, in some cases dating is like shopping, sometimes you have to keep looking until you find what you like and sometimes you won’t find it in the first store that you go into, but you still want your shopping experience to be a good one.

Now here are some of the “don’ts” on the first date. Never ever bring up previous relationships, especially ones that ended badly or ones that you are still not over yet. This will send a red flag to the other person and this is a sure way to get the other person running in the opposite direction fast! Try to stick to basic subjects and try your best not to bring up heated debatable subjects such as religion, previous relationships, or politics.

Don’t interrogate the person on the first date. Don’t throw a barrage of questions at the person all at once. Don’t ask about financial status, credit report, or if the person have a criminal record. Are these all important topics? Yes, but are they necessary questions to ask on the first date? No. Again, remember this is a first date not a police interrogation room and you are not a detective. You are here to get to know the person in general. These are questions to ask once there is a mutual interest and you both have decided that this is something that you want to pursue.

Don’t offer your family plans on the first date, this may scare the other person away. He or she may think that you are ready to get married tomorrow! Try to keep the conversation light, such as what kind of activities you like, movies, foods and things that make you smile. Try not to monopolize the conversation either. Ask the other person questions about them, don’t hog the spotlight.

If you follow these basic rules I guarantee you that you will have a decent date at the least. Remember you are on the date to get to know the person, but in very general terms, no need to over think it. Just go into it with an open mind and don’t put expectations on the other person or yourself. But most of all try to have fun!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

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