Friday, September 25, 2009

Whatever You Do I Can Do Better- The Me Too Chick!

Hey Fellas, have you ever met that woman who no matter what you tell her she can always top your story? If you say, I had an issue at work today, and she says me too and 20 people got fired behind it! If you say, I am not feeling well, and she says me too, I had to be rushed to the emergency room with a police escort today! Or if you say that you got a lot going on right now and she says me too, my little brother has cancer, mom just got ran over by a bus, and I just found out that my uncle is my father! It’s like whatever you are going through, no matter how big or small it is, she is going through the exact same thing, but on a much deeper level. You can’t even gripe in peace or alone for that matter.

Her issues always gotta be much bigger than the next person. If you said you ran 3 miles, she’ll say she ran 5 miles. If you said you’re planning a trip to the island, she’s planning a trip to Paris, knowing damn well her ass aint going nowhere outside of the city, let alone the states, but she just gotta do one better than you. In the beginning you didn’t realize that she was this type of woman. You probably thought damn this woman just have bad luck, good luck or whatever, but after awhile you’re like wait a minute, this bitch is crazy! Then you start asking yourself, was she neglected as a child, was she the ugly child no one wanted to play with, or did she always wanted to be an actress, but couldn’t cut it?

Then the crazy part is she forgets her damn lies. When you ask her about her brother with cancer she looks at you like you have twelve heads then she says what brother I don’t have no brother. When you ask her about her trip to Paris, she always comes up with excuses to postpone it. Or when you ask her about her uncle/father she says she never met her father and you’re like WTF!!

So now that you know this woman craves attention you just like fucking with her. So you start telling her crazy shit like, I am going on this special assignment for my job where we have to inspect the moon. Then she comes back with, “Me too, they are offering that same program at my job and I signed up for it” Or you tell her that you starred in commercials when you were a kid and she says, “I was a child actor too”, and you’re thinking to yourself that’s why you’re so fucked up!
Don’t get me wrong she can really be a sweet person, but just a person that craves attention. Most men are willing to tolerate this kind of fictitious behavior especially if she is giving them good sex. Shit she can claim to be Beyonce’s cousin who sings background as long as she is doing her thang in the bedroom, shoot she can be Harriet Tubman reincarnated.

The point is, some people crave attention so bad that they will do and say anything to get it. To me this is a key sign that something is truly missing in this person’s life. Which brings me back to be true to yourself, and if others don’t like it then to hell with them and just do you! If people can’t accept you for who you are then do allow them to accept you at all!
I’m just saying…

C Double R.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Letter to my Sistas!

Ladies, I know I write about all types of women on my blog; the selfish, the greedy, the vain, the bold, the independent and everything in between. But today I want to speak to ALL of my sistas. Throughout my life I have come across quite a few women who don’t recognize their self worth. I am talking about educated woman, uneducated, professional, non-professional, woman from the hood to the suburbs. I wanted to express the different backgrounds because it doesn’t matter what background you come from this recognition problem seems to affect all types of women.

I don’t know if this is a learned behavior or an innate behavior. I do know that most people are a product of their environment. Now it depends on how you look at your environment. Are you a person that looks at your environment and knows it’s fucked up and you decide to take another route so you won’t be fucked up too? Or are you the type of person who just roll with the status quo? I believe it’s all about your make up. But it also has to do with how you were raised as a child. For example, if you had people constantly telling you, you aint going to be shit all your life as a child, one or two things are going to happen, you are going to believe it and prove them right, or you are going to show them that you are worthy and prove them wrong? So which is it, a learned behavior or an innate behavior?

I just believe once we truly understand that we all have a purpose in life that’s when we can truly understand our self worth. So don’t let others tell you your worth, go out and discover your worth yourself. After all, the only person that has to live with you 24/7 is you!!

Always remind yourself that you are worthy and if others can’t see your self-worth then they don’t deserve to reap the benefits of your worth. We, as humans, have the tendency to have others define us, instead of defining ourselves. We have the tendency to try to impress others instead of trying to impress ourselves.

It’s funny when I say to people that I want to lose 10 pounds, because the first thing that they say is girl you look good to me or girl you don’t need to lose no weight. But the thing is, I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t want to lose weight for them I want to lose weight for Chanel! I brought those 4 inches stilettos because Chanel likes the way they look. I brought that sexy little dress because Chanel likes the way it fit. And as Katt Williams say, if you got 5 people hating on you today, it’s you’re job to make that 15 by the end of the year!!! Appreciate and know your worth ladies!!!!

Ladies, I’m just saying..

C Double R

Friday, September 11, 2009

Take a Picture It Last Longer- The I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick

Fellas, have you ever met that banging Sista? I mean, fine as hell, body like a Goddess, truly flawless, a true dime piece? Everywhere you go she turns heads, men and women. She’s like E. F. Hutton when she steps into the room everything stops. She’s the showstopper and the trophy on your arm whenever you two are together. You think to yourself damn, I hit the jackpot, can’t nobody touch my baby, not even Halle Berry.

You run and tell all your boys about her, how fine she is and how everybody is jealous of you because you have the baddest chick everywhere you go. You keep a thousand pictures of her in your wallet, on your phone, computer, and desk at work, shit you might even wear her around your neck on a chain. Every time someone asks is this your lady you break out into a big ass Kool-Aide smile and say yes. Then you admit to yourself, damn I never thought I could get a woman this beautiful, fine and sexy. You feel like you’re in heaven until you really get to know her and you say to yourself WTF have I gotten myself into!!!

I mean this chick can’t cook, clean, can’t hold an intelligent conversation unless it’s about her or the latest fashion, and sex, you can forget about sex! Every position messes up her hair, or she hates sweat and God forbid you smear her make up with a kiss. She only does missionary position because everything else is too risque and down- right nasty. She jumps up afterwards and takes a shower because she can’t stand being dirty, she doesn’t like to cuddle afterwards she just wants to fix herself up and look pretty again. WTF!! Who wants to deal with this bullshit? Yeah she may be fine, but she sure aint sexy in the bedroom, you might have more fun having sex with a blow up doll!

When it comes to cooking, are you kidding me?? This chick thinks throwing a microwave meal together is gourmet cooking, and you’re lucky if you get that twice a week because the rest of the week she expects you to take her out to a fine restaurant. In the beginning this was cool because you wanted to show her off to the public and make the other men jealous, but now you know the real deal and you’re constantly walking around with a woody because she aint giving you none, you’re like the hell with that shit. After awhile that beauty shit wears off and so does your tolerance for the bull. Every man wants a beautiful woman, but what good is it to have a beautiful woman if she doesn’t have any substance to her? I guess that’s why so many men are shock when they hear that an attractive woman can cook and shoot they feel like they really hit the jackpot if she is intelligent too.

So you ask, how can you detect this kind of woman? Well fellas, if and when you meet her she is staring at herself in anything that shows her reflection then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If she only talks about herself during your conversation then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If you only see her looking at the pictures in fashion magazines and never reading the articles then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If she thinks the Speaker of the House is the speaker to her stereo system at home and not Nancy Pelosi then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If you ask her if she knows how to sear fish and she responds I don’t go fishing I might break a nail then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick.

Some guys can tolerate this type of chick, especially if he is vain himself because vain people like to be around other vain people, let’s keep it real. They want to be each other’s showpiece. That’s what’s wrong with society everybody wants to focus on the exterior instead of focusing on the interior. One thing I have learned as I have gotten older is that the exterior fades but the interior is forever. So men, remember when you’re out there chasing the baddest chic if she doesn’t have any substance you have a shell of a woman, and what happens to shells? They crack and most of the time there’s nothing inside.

I’m just saying………


C Double R

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What!! You Are a Plumber and an Electrician – Looking for Mr. Fix It Chick

Hey Fellas, have you ever met that woman that is always utilizing you for your skills? Asking you can you come over, my toilet won’t flush? Can you take a look at my electric, my lights keep flickering? Can you check my brakes, they keep making a funny noise? Can you redo my kitchen floor, its warped? And in return she fixes you dinner, give you some nookie and keep your number on speed dial!
This is the woman who will not date a man if she doesn’t think he can benefit her in some way? He has to be handy like an electrician, plumber, mechanic, carpenter, shit even a barber if she got sons! If he aint useful then he aint worthy. This kind of woman scopes out men that can help her in some shape, form or fashion. She looks at it as barter. You do something for me and I will do something for you. You fix my sink, I’ll give you some food and drink. You fix my brakes I’ll kiss the snake. If you fix my floor I’ll show you the entrance to my bedroom door.
See Fellas, she doesn’t see anything wrong with this. Besides, you’re getting what you want and she is getting what she wants. Therefore, the both of you are getting satisfied. I’m just saying, recognize the game. Don’t think just because she constantly invites you over that she is really into you. Now ask yourself this question, “Every time you go to her house does she ask you to fix or look at something, while fried chicken is cooking on the stove and mac and cheese is baking in the oven? Or if there is nothing cooking does she come to the door in a skimpy outfit or better yet a towel wrapped around her saying she just stepped out the shower then asked you to look at something that is broke? Man this is part of the mental seduction so she can get what she really wants, which is her damn stove fixed!! Dummy!!
And you’re the same man who is going around bragging saying she is feeling you, because every time you go over to her house she got food ready for you or something sexy on. All the while not mentioning what you have to do to get that damn food and her! Some men are so easily distracted when it comes to a sexy woman and good ass food. Men, when will you learn to read between the lines? Now, if you do read between the lines and you’re cool with that, then so be it. But please don’t think just because a woman is doing all of this for you and to you that she is really into you! Remember women are some of the most conniving creatures walking the planet and we definitely know how to get what we want without you ever realizing it.
So you ask, how can you spot this woman? Well if the first question out of her mouth when you meet is, “So, what do you do?” and after you tell her what you do she starts bringing up topics pertaining to your work that seems to benefit her, then this is a sign. This doesn’t just apply to laborers such as mechanics, plumbers, and electricians, this also apply to you white collar brothas too. If you tell her that you are an attorney and she starts talking about her son Pookie is in jail because he got a raw deal and starts asking you for your help, then this is a sign. Or if you work in the office for a utility and she starts asking you can you help her with her bill, then this is a sign.
So Fellas, if you are all for the barter thang, then this may be the woman for you. She will feed you, give you some nookie and maybe the best head you ever had if you can be her Mr. Fix It!!!
I’m just saying….