Monday, April 26, 2010

How to Still Make it Sing After the Ring!

Have you ever heard of the joke if you want to stop having sex then get married? I hear a lot of married people complaining about the lack of sex or the lack of romance in their marriage. I know it is not an intentional occurrence, but sometimes life, children, school and work takes priority over sex and romance in a marriage. Now should this be? NO!!!

I can admit I felled into the “life” trap when I was married. First, I had my son then I went back to school. Then my son slept in the bed with us, and when it was all said and done I was just too damn tired to get sexy and be romantic. But before the kid and school, romance and sex was hot!

I had a code name “Shameka” and when “Shameka” was in town, watch out. Let’s just say if you ever heard of the song by Dwele “I’m Cheating”, that was my relationship in a nutshell. The song premise is a man cheating on his woman with is woman’s alter ego. “Shameka” was my alter ego:) You have to keep the “sexy” in the relationship regardless how busy and how tired you are because if you don’t then eventually someone else will.

Don’t be so predictable and if you can’t change your routine then “enhance” you routine. If you usually get home before him and start dinner, then try cooking in sexy lingerie or “his” favorite outfit or hell in the nude! Or surprise him and stop by his job to say hi with nothing but a trench coat on! You could also stuff a sexy dirty note in his shirt pocket or briefcase. Or send him a sexy picture in the middle of the day. Trust me, men love this stuff.

One day I was watching “Run’s House” and he made a statement that before he married his wife they promised that they would continue to date after marriage, in spite of the kids. He said one day the kids will be grown and the only two that will be left in the house would be the two of them and he didn’t want to “learn” his wife all over again. I completely agree, married couples must continue to date after marriage.

It’s easier to keep the fire going than trying to rekindle it. If you never stop then the marriage will never lose its spark. So pull out those spike heels that’s been collecting dust and that sexy little black dress and go out dancing with that mystery man of your and when you get home make him remember why he made you his wife in the first place!

Hell, if Barack and Michelle can still date, the busiest man in America, then why can’t you and your wife or husband?

I’m just saying..

C Double R!


  1. C 2x's R...this is some great advise your are putting out in the atmospher. Also from being married before myself I know that candle can burn all too quick. Your comment about it is better if the tourch never burns or or runs low is a lot better than trying to rekindle the fire is a trueism if there ever was one. (Sorry for some of the spelling errors).....These post are great & really helpful...keep up the good work....when your book gets published I want the 1st....okay 2nd signed copy... ;-)

  2. @ Anonymous - Thanks for the support and for sure you will get one of the first copies:)

  3. I wish more women were like you C Double R! Great topic!!