Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Making Concessions vs. Settling for a Man!

Ladies, I know if we could create our own man we would make him with all of the characteristics on our “wish list”. I was watching the new show on VH1 featuring Chilli from TLC and its entitled “What Chilli Wants”. Unfortunately, what she wants doesn't exist, well at least not in one man. She is looking for a man who is super fione, washboard stomach, rich, don’t smoke or drink, God fearing, tall, no more than two baby mommas and most importantly he MUST have a big d*ck!! WHAT??????? BP! (Translation Bitch Please!) Chilli, you couldn’t create a man like that, even if you had the tools to do so!

See, this is where I have a problem with women. Some women live in a fantasy world and that is the main reason why so many women are singled until one day they wake up and realizes that they wasted so many years looking for a man that doesn’t exist they panic and pick up the first thing that’s breathing oxygen, just so they can say they have a man!! Are you serious? So let’s see, you went from unbelievable expectations to the bottom of the barrel expectations just so you can say you have a man or just so you don’t have to be alone.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please understand the difference between making concessions for a man and settling for a man. Let me explain the difference. A concession is when you date or enter into a relationship with a man who doesn’t have some of the characteristics that you normally like in a man. For instance, you may prefer dark skinned men, but you happen to meet a light skinned brotha that have all of the important qualities that you look for in a man so you make a concession for this man. Another example is you may have a rule you only like to date tall men, but you happen to meet an average height man, who again, has all of the other important qualities that you look for in a man, so you make a concession for this man.

Now let’s talk about settling for a man, shall we. Most women settle for a man when they get desperate. Desperate to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship! It doesn’t matter if dude doesn’t have a job, 8 kids with 6 different baby mommas, beat your ass, a drunk or a habitual cheater. As long as you can say you have a man, it’s all good!

The one thing women can do to avoid getting to this stage is to learn to understand their self- worth. Period! Once you understand and can appreciate your worth then you won’t become desperate because you know what your worthy of. It will become an innate behavior which won’t allow you to settle for the bullshit when it comes to men or anything in life. Once a woman masters this task she will clearly know the difference between making a concession and settling for a man.

So getting back to my girl Chilli, until she can understand the difference between settling and making a concession when it comes to men she will forever find herself alone! Because believe me we all make concessions when it comes to our relationships. Trust me, what ever man she decides to be with will be making a concession too when it comes to her, because there are no perfect people in this world and that includes you too Ms. Chilli!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!


  1. You can only expect what you except in this world.

    With that being said I believe that the person that everyone wants/needs or expects is out there... There are a few problems though; First being the biggest, most important of all COMMUNICATION!!! Rather one's expectation are realistic or not 'A closed mouth doesn't get fed'. To my knowledge no one has the ability to read anyone else's mind (literally) so if you don't make it known what you want/need or expect NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!

    The Second problem: There was a time when life was more simple and things were done 'certain' ways. That time is not now... In this day and age all the morals and values that we were taught have sadly lost there luster or should I say become obsolete. Today families aren't built like they were a few decades ago. Our generation was raised on the stereo typical morals and foundations that our parents, parents had. That rubbed of on us, that's why some of us aren't getting it...

    The third and final problem: People expect things just to happen for them... Like your dream woman or man is just supposed to fall in your lap. That's what's supposed to happen, right????? How you ain't never left Philly, 32 years old and talking bout 'Ain't no real men/women out there!!!!' (no one in particular) This world is huge people! Get out there and get what's due to you if you think you deserve it. 6.8 billion people in the world, I know I know... Women out number men 3 to 1 but come on... Let's not play Coy ladies... Anything worth having is worth working hard for...

    If you settle you can only expect what you except, so you have to except what you have. Stop complaining and take control of your lives. It seems pretty simple to me.

    Well those are my thoughts, that is my logic.

  2. Chili got fake hair saying she wants a real man. BP.

  3. @ Trueman gotta defend Chilli on that one. She is a black woman with "REAL" hair. I am not saying that women shouldn't be picky, but we should learn to pick and choose our battles. That's why women should learn the difference from concessions and settling when it comes to men!
    @ Mr. Lee alot great points here. Americans have lost their morals and core values that we grew up with. Everything today is based on status and looks!! What a sad state we are in as american people.