Thursday, July 23, 2009

But Baby You Only Gave Me One Black Eye, You Don’t Love Me No More - Need to be Abused Chick

This the chick who will continuously get her ass whipped then lay down with the man who whipped her ass and have sex with him to make up. I call her the Tina Turner Chick. This is the kind of woman that is willing to die to prove that her man loves her. This kind of woman can come from any social-economical background. She could be educated, uneducated, lower class, upper class, Black, White, Asian, it doesn’t matter. The Abuse Woman Syndrome doesn’t discriminate. Many people ask, “Why do women stay with men that abuse them?” And why do these women tend to gravitate toward abusive men? Well, many can’t answer this question, but I will try.

When I was in graduate school I took a class and we had a doctor come in and explain the N.E.C (Neuro Emotional Complex). He basically explained that people tend to gravitate toward situations that they are use to. It doesn’t always mean it is the “best” situation, but it is a situation that they are familiar with and feel comfortable and therefore they think they can handle themselves in that situation.
Women tend to stay with abusive men for one of three reasons. One, they are afraid that if they do leave that he will find her and he will harm her, or worst, kill her. Two, he has beaten her down so much emotionally and physically she doesn’t feel like any other man would want her because she doesn’t find herself worthy. Thirdly, she stays because this is what she is use to, period.

Unfortunately, most of these situations end up badly. In some cases the woman is beaten so badly the injuries are permanent or her family is planning her funeral much earlier than what they expected. Also, sometimes when a woman finally gets out of an abusive relationship she tends to be suspicious of every man she meets and usually shy away from men altogether. The other scenario is if she does find a man that truly loves her and don’t beat her then she doesn’t feel like he truly loves her. If he is not blackening her eye or throwing her down the stairs then she is suspicious of his non-abusive love. This is a sad truth.

Women like this also tend to start and pick fights with the new man to test his love for her. They will jump in his face punch, hit and kick him until they get a response out of him, hopefully an abusive response, because in her twisted confused mind this would validate his love for her. Men who are put in this situation will usually do one of three things. They will eventually respond in an abusive manner, after being provoked so many times. Two, just leave. Or three, try to seek help for the woman. The third choice is the best choice. If the man seeks counseling for him and the woman that he loves then he is putting her on the right path to break the cycle of abuse.

Fellas, when you met a woman like this, and you are really feeling this woman, don’t just walk away try to help her and instead of telling your Homies that this B’s crazy. Recognize that she is hurting and subconsciously crying out for help. We so often in our society turn our backs on the ones that are hurting and instead of helping we tend to ostracize them from others because we think and call them crazy. Abusive women need love too, they may not always show it, or admit it, but they do.
Really didn’t want to get that deep on the blog, but it is what it is. My role is to inform men of all kinds of women, even if it is an ugly truth.


C Double R

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