The One That Makes You Go Damn!

Ladies and men have you ever met that one that makes you go damn! You love the way this person smells, walks, smile, and not to mention how they throw it down in the bedroom. This is the woman or man that you just can’t say no to no matter what he or she does. Then you make a promise to yourself that you are through and you are cutting this person out of your life for good, but as soon as you see that person you get that fluttering feeling in your chest and you envision yourself in the bedroom with this person making mad love? Why do we do that, why do some people set themselves up just be on a rollercoaster of lust?


Pure physical attraction. Some people just have pure animalistic attraction towards one another. Yes, they know in some cases it may never go farther than the bedroom, and they both are cool with it. I think we all have met that one person, one time or another, that just does it for you. You don’t necessarily want to marry this person, or be with this person in a serious relationship, but you want to keep this person in your life.

I must say this is a rare occurrence. Of course when you first meet someone in the beginning it may be fireworks then after awhile it wears off. But when you meet that special person, no matter when you two get together or how long you two have been apart its constant fireworks, that’s a person that makes you go damn!

Not too many people can handle this kind of situation. This is a special kind of situation because both people have to be on the same accord and must know their position because no one wants unexpected drama. But if both parties are cool with the situation then more power to them. Because I will say it is very rare to find someone that can make you go damn, all the time!!

I’m just saying.



C Double R!

Concessions vs. Settling for a Man

Ladies, I know if we could create our own man we would make him with all of the characteristics on our “wish list”. Chili from TLC had a show on VH1 entitled “What Chilli Wants”. Unfortunately, what she wants doesn't exist, well at least not in one man. She is looking for a man who is super fine, washboard stomach, rich, don’t smoke or drink, God fearing, tall, no more than two baby mommas and most importantly he must be BIG in the right area!! WHAT??????? CP! (Translation Child Please!) Chilli, you couldn’t create a man like that, even if you had the tools to do so!

See, this is where I have a problem with women. Some women live in a fantasy world and that is the main reason why so many women are singled until one day they wake up and realizes that they wasted so many years looking for a man that doesn’t exist they panic and pick up the first thing that’s breathing, just so they can say they have a man!! Are you serious? So let’s see, you went from unbelievable expectations to the bottom of the barrel expectations just so you can say you have a man or just so you don’t have to be alone.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please understand the difference between making concessions for a man and settling for a man. Let me explain the difference. A concession is when you date or enter into a relationship with a man who doesn’t have some of the characteristics that you normally like in a man. For instance, you may prefer dark skinned men, but you happen to meet a light skinned brotha that have all of the important qualities that you look for in a man so you make a concession for this man. Another example is you may have a rule you only like to date tall men, but you happen to meet an average height man, who again, has all of the other important qualities that you look for in a man, so you make a concession for this man.

Now let’s talk about settling for a man, shall we. Most women settle for a man when they get desperate. Desperate to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship! It doesn’t matter if dude doesn’t have a job, 8 kids with 6 different baby mommas, beat your ass, a drunk or a habitual cheater. As long as you can say you have a man, it’s all good!

The one thing women can do to avoid getting to this stage is to learn to understand their self- worth. Period! Once you understand and can appreciate your worth then you won’t become desperate because you know what your worthy of. It will become an innate behavior which won’t allow you to settle for the crap when it comes to men or anything in life. Once a woman masters this task she will clearly know the difference between making a concession and settling for a man.

So getting back to my girl Chilli, until she can understand the difference between settling and making a concession when it comes to men she will forever find herself alone! Because believe me we all make concessions when it comes to our relationships. Trust me, whatever man she decides to be with will be making a concession too when it comes to her, because there are no perfect people in this world and that includes you too Ms. Chilli!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!



If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When a Woman's Fed Up!!

This is for the guys who think just because your woman has tolerated your bull for so long that she won’t just shut you down one day. Most women tolerate more than what they should when it comes to their mate. Women has the tendency to constantly forgive, let their men come back, accept their unfaithful ways, but please believe WOMEN never forget!


If you ever listen to the old school song “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The man describes how he comes in 5 o’clock in the morning and his woman doesn’t question where he has been and even asked if he was hungry? The next verse he sings how he’s in the hospital bandage from head to toe. Yes, this was a song about a women being fed up!

So take this as a warning guys, just because your woman isn’t addressing your wicked ways she is definitely putting them safely away in her memory bank and once that memory bank is full, watch out! I’m not saying she is going to put you in the hospital, but you could come home to an echo one day, meaning she has packed up all of her stuff and bounced. Or if you live with her, you could come home to your stuff laid out neatly on the lawn.

I’m just saying, watch how you treat people that you supposedly love, and don’t take their love for granted because one day you make wake up to a rude awakening. One more thing guys, usually when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can say or do to make her change her mind because she has reached the point of no return!

So here’s something to take away from this article, what your thoughts, because they become your words, watch your words because they become your actions, watch your actions because they become your character!



I’m just saying!!



C Double R!

Loved Up, But Not Wifed Up!

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?


The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

If your mate hasn’t married you and you want to know why there are plenty of couple counselors in the Philadelphia area.


C Double R!

Head of House- Should it be the Woman, Man or Both?

I had a very interesting conversation the other day, so of course I had to write about it, so here it goes…


I was having a conversation with a friend in regards when Barack Obama was running for the presidency. I had made mention to the fact that when Barack was on Oprah over 4 years ago and he was thinking about running for the presidency Michelle stated that this had to be a family decision because it will change the dynamics of their family and she had a career to think about too. The other party whom I was speaking to immediately stated that’s bull and the final decision is Barack’s regardless if Michelle agrees or not, however, he then went on to say he would need her full support?? WTF!! Then the other party stated the final decision should be Barack’s, who is the man of the house, period! So I shot back, that’s why they are still married because they discuss important decisions as a family unit, not independently!

So, I ask the question when it comes to important decisions for the household who should make the decision, the man of the house, the woman of the house or should it be a joined decision?

I’m just saying..


C Double R

Dating Outside Your League!!

Time to keep it real, so let’s go! Nothing pisses me off more than having someone request something from a potential mate that they can’t even provide for themselves, you all know what I’m talking about. For example, a man who’s always talking about he only wants to date “dime” pieces. Translation, this means one of two things. He only wants to date a woman with all of the external qualities that stands out, a pretty face, banging body and very stylish. Or it could mean that he wants everything previously mentioned (outstanding physical characteristics) as well as well-educated, independent, classy and also a freak when she needs to be.


There is nothing wrong with these types of requests if you are also fulfilling the same requests for your potential mate. For example, you can’t request a dime piece, whether it’s just the physical or the full package dime piece, and your credentials aren’t up to par. You are requesting a Pamela Grier exterior but you are a Fat Albert, sorry but I’m just saying. Or you are requesting a Michele Obama and you have a G.E.D.

The bottom line is don’t request something from someone else that you can’t fulfill for yourself. Men tend to be more of sticklers for these kinds of requests than women. A financially successful woman would date a man who makes less money than her before a man would date a woman that is not his physical “cup of tea.”

Some people look to others to validate who they are and to confirm their self- worth. If you want self- worth then YOU have to create your self- worth, no one else can do that for you. Be what you like! If you like physically fit women or men then get that ass in the gym! Join the team, don’t be a spectator of the sport. If you want a successful partner, work on your own plan to be successful yourself. Trust me, when someone sees that you can bring just as much to the table as they do they will respect you more.

I just don’t respect someone who puts all of these demands on someone else in order for that person to be their mate when they can’t even hold a candle to the person that they are requesting. Really?

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Why is My Bed Always So Cold?? The Independent Chick!!

Fellas have you ever met that perfect woman? She’s independent, fine, have her own car, house, money and don’t mind treating you to dinner or surprising you with a gift or two. She’s just that bad that she have you thinking to yourself, damn I finally found that perfect woman. She got her own shit, great in bed, and she can hold it down on her own. You’re thinking you hit the jackpot, until you get into that first heated argument. Boy, that’s when you think to yourself, “What the fuck did I just get myself into?” It goes a little something like this, “Jigga I don’t need you, I want you, don’t get it twisted. So let’s be clear. I’ve been taking care of myself before you came along and will continue to do so after you are gone! I don’t know who the hell you think you are because I am an independent woman and I don’t need a man for shit. “Sounds familiar? And this is all being said because you asked her did she need help with the groceries!

See men, independent women are very hard to gauge. Sometimes they want a man to take control and at other times they need to be in control because they don’t know how not to be in control in certain situations. Most women are in control because of one of two reasons. One, they were either forced to be in control or two, they have the desire to be in control.

Unfortunately, these are the women who don’t understand that every woman needs a man. It’s not in a woman’s makeup to be a man. Period. Yes, women should be very proud that they can support themselves, take care of their business and don’t have to answer to anyone, but that doesn’t mean that deep down inside that they don’t want and desire a man to protect them. More often than not, independent women inadvertently push men away. Yes, most men love independent women, but they don’t want to be reminded every day that they are with an independent woman and constantly reminded that she don’t need him, but she wants him. That shit get old real quick with most men.

One thing I learned is that a man needs to feel needed because if he doesn’t then he feels emasculated. It’s in a man’s make up to be the provider, the protector and the head of the family and when a woman takes that away from him he feels inadequate. This is the one thing that the independent woman just can’t seem to understand, no matter how many degrees she has hanging on her wall. This is the reason why most independent women ask the same question, “Why is my bed always so cold?” This is the reason! Learn to let a man be a man, even if he doesn’t make as much money as you, or if he’s not as educated as you, or doesn’t have a high power job like you. Let the man be the man, damn it!!

Men, so I know you are asking well how can I tell when a woman thinks like this? Well there are signs. If a woman never let’s you pay for anything and always brag about how much money she makes and wants to compare paychecks. That’s a sign my brother. If a woman is always telling you how much she paid for this or that, and shows you the receipt. That’s a sign. And most importantly if she always want to ride you and never let you ride her while having sex. That’s definitely a sign.

These are all signs letting you know that she don’t need you and she is constantly telling you this when she does these types of things. There could also be another underlying reason why she does these things. Insecurity. When women have to constantly brag about their money, possessions, and or looks this is usually because they are trying to mass some other insecurity. It’s the same as when a little man buys a huge truck, or an older man buys a red corvette or gets a tattoo. We all do things to mass some kind of insecurity that we have about ourselves, whether it is big or small.

We women have to learn to let it go and let the man lead and learn to follow sometimes. Because if we continue to poke our chest out like we are the king of the jungle all the masses will find another location to habitat. I define myself as an independent woman, but I am not an overly aggressive independent woman. Can I handle my business? Yes. Am I educated? Yes, with a Masters from an Ivy League University, but is this brought up in the very first conversation I have with a man I just met? No. Fellas, this is another sign. If you meet a woman and she is telling you or better yet showing you her portfolio on your first date, run.

Now the flip side of this is that most independent women are very selective and very picky when it comes to dating men. For instance, I have several girlfriends who are educated, attractive and independent, who will only date a man of a certain caliber. They don’t look at potential they look at the current situation and if it is not up to their standards then they will not give the man the time of day. So fellas, if we are keeping it real let’s do just that. Don’t approach a well dressed classy sophisticated woman if your shit aint tight. So to save you the embarrassment, know what you working with and when in doubt move on, there are more fish in the sea. I know that sounds harsh but unfortunately there are a lot of shallow people in the world including independent women.

Now, there are different classifications of independent women. Just because a woman is educated doesn’t mean she’s independent or just because a woman is not educated doesn’t mean she’s not independent. Being independent simply means handling your business. You could be living at home with your parents and working two jobs and going to school, that’s flexing your independence. You could be a single parent mother with no assistant from the government, that’s flexing your independence. Then there’s the independent woman that most are familiar with, the well-educated, high power position independent woman. All these women have one thing in common, strength. So when an independent woman meets that perfect man it is hard for her to relinquish her power because she has been programmed for so long to be that way.
Fellas, I am not saying that all independent woman her bossy, or hard to deal with, I am saying just understand the type of woman that you are dealing with because it does take a special breed of a man to deal with an independent woman. When a woman is forced to be in the position of power she gets use to holding that position and it is hard to let go and let someone else hold that position for her.

It goes back to the fact that every woman doesn’t understand that she needs a man. One of my favorite songs is by Mary J. Blige, it is called “Father Figure”. In the song she speaks about how it was hard for her to be in a relationship and to keep a man because she never knew her father and she didn’t know how to relate. It also talks about how every woman needs a man and how some women don’t understand that fact. We all want a man to be our protector, our leader and some women think if they admit to that then they are giving up their power and independence. But in fact, what they are really doing is keeping it real and being a woman, the way God created a woman to be.

One thing I do think independent women understand is that it doesn’t take a man to complete them. A man should be an addition to not a completion of a woman. I will speak a little more depth on this topic in later chapters. Now if the independent woman can just learn to share the independence then I believe she could be in a much better situation when it comes to relationships with men.

Men I am not saying if you don’t make six figures, live in a nice house, and drive a nice car that you don’t have a chance with an independent woman. Again, independent women have different classifications and all independent women aren’t superficial or bitches. There are independent women who will support a man who is trying to pull himself up to be a better man. However, you also have independent women who like to tear a brotha down when he is trying to pull himself up to her level, financially. This is where that insecurity piece comes into play. Fellas listen, if you are a hard working man, supports his lady emotional and spiritually and she doesn’t appreciate it because you can’t support her financially, then she’s not the one for you. Period.

Learn to read the signs that women put out every day. Also, stop getting caught up on the physical and learn to be more in tune with the emotional. Once you can learn to do that, that’s when you can become a master at whether or not a specific woman is the woman for you.

I'm just saying..

C Double R!!

The Forbidden Fruit- Why Do We Always Want What We Know is Bad for Us?

Why do we go for that extra slice of cake knowing darn well we’ll complain about it later when we step on the scale? Or why do we gamble with our rent money, kid’s college fund or life savings? Why do we risk our marriage just for one night of good sex? Why do we have unprotected sex with people we barely know, knowing the risk that we are taking? Why do we always want what we know is not good for us? Is it for the thrill of it all? Or is it to see if we can really get away with it? Or is it as simple as living in the moment?

I have asked several of my friends this question and no one really had a valid answer. So I started to ponder the question even further. The best reason I came up with is that people simply live in the moment and do not think about the consequences of their actions. Think about it. Do you really think that someone would gamble away their kid’s college fund if they truly weighed the consequences? I don’t think so. Do you think a man or a woman would really risk their marriage, especially if they are happy, for a one night stand if they truly weighed the consequences? I don’t think so.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where we want what we want when we want it and we don’t see, hear or think about anything else during that moment. When you add in the huge amount of temptations out there, being strong can be a huge challenge!! Even Dr. Martin Luther King succumbed to temptation by cheating on his wife. Even Evangelists succumb to temptation because of greed. Even Magic Johnson succumbed to temptation, by having unprotected sex which caused him to be infected with the virus HIV. These men knew the risk and the probable outcome of their actions, but this didn’t stop them. How can one explain this?

I also believe timing and circumstances play a major role in wanting the forbidden fruit. You can take the most faithful man there is, but if you catch him at the wrong time (some may think at the right time) he too can get got, it only takes a minute to make the wrong decision and it can happen to the best of us. But my question is what about the repeat offenders, the ones that just don’t give a hell and repeatedly taste the forbidden fruit. They pick the forbidden fruit so much they can make fruit salad on the regular basis! Do they do it because they are constantly getting away with it and haven’t been punished for their actions, or they just don’t give a hell?

I think we all have tasted the forbidden fruit in some capacity. So think back to a time when you did taste the forbidden fruit and ask yourself why did you do that and please share with us, because I want to know.

Fruit for thought!!



C Double R!!

Why Do Married Men Cheat?

First, let me say I can speak about it because I have lived through it. Over the years I have learned that a man can love you, kill and/or die for you, but is it doesn’t mean that he won’t cheat on you! Now that’s some real talk for your ass! Unfortunately ladies it’s in most men “make up” to cheat. The best way I can explain it is that most men have an insatiable desire for a variety of women. That’s it in a nutshell.


I had a friend who wanted me to blog about this topic. The first thing I said to the person is just because your husband cheat doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you and for the most part his ass will not leave you not unless you kick his butt out! As you all know I have several close male friends and I have this discussion with them constantly and the one common response is that they would never leave their wives for another woman no matter how good the sex is, period.

It has been explained to me that most married men cheat because they need a little variety when it comes to sex to keep the excitement in their marriage (Hey I don’t condone this in any way, but I have to give it to you raw!). I was told even if you have the main dish which could be filet mignon, lobster, or whatever your favorite main dish is, but you need the side dishes like potato or asparagus to go along with it to make the meal more flavorful. Another analogy that was used to explain why men cheat is ice cream, yes damn it I said ice cream! I was told take for instance your favorite ice cream is “vanilla”, but then you are introduce to a new flavor “Rocky Road” something that looks good and something you never had before and your curiosity gets the best of you and you try it and you like it. So here on out even though “vanilla” is still your favorite every now and again you have a taste for Rocky Road. But when asked what is your favorite ice cream you still respond “vanilla”.

The bottom line is that men are just wired differently than women. The saying men are from Mars and women are from Venus is so true! But let me warn you men, just because your woman or some women like myself, understand this and just because we expect it, doesn’t mean that we are going to accept it!

So let’s be clear, don’t think you can use “it’s in your make up” as an excuse for cheating. Let me give you a little advice, don’t let the taste of the Rocky Road ice cream substitute the vanilla ice cream because vanilla ice cream has been around since the existence of ice cream. Other flavors may come and go, but vanilla is a constant when it comes to ice cream.


I’m just saying..

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.creme-magazine.com. If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

Open Relationships- Do They Really Work?

I am not sure if this is a new fad or the new way of relationships. But this has become a very popular form of dating. Could it be because of the shortage of good men or the lack of self esteem with women? Or is it the attitude of “I rather have a piece of a man than no man at all”? Have women lowered their standards so low that they are willing to share their man with other women openly?


I had the pleasure of interviewing one local Philadelphia man who has three “wives” and they call each other “sister/wives”. Let me clarify by saying, no they are not legally married but they all share the same home and enjoy their relationship with each other.

This is not the traditional “open relationship” situation, but it is definitely not the “traditional” relationship either. Usually in an open relationship the couple is “aware” that their mate dates other people but usually they don’t “join in” with dating the other person also.

I found this relationship to be truly unique because all parties genuinely love each other and are happy with one another. They all take trips together, have designated days that they share with their “husband” and they also have days when they all share each other. This is truly real life “Big Love”.

One may ask or say to themselves these must be hard up women or women with very low self-esteem. Not true at all. All three women are well educated, very attractive with very high self-esteem. They choose to be in this relationship because they want to, not because they have to.

After doing some research I discovered there are several clubs in the Philadelphia area that caters to swingers and open relationship couples. One of the local hot spots is Rollplay located in Atlantic City. Rollplay is an oasis for like-minded couples and single women to explore their desires together, from the sensual and sublime to the intense and erotic.

I must say I am a very liberal woman, but I don’t think I could ever be liberal enough to knowingly share my man with other women and also partake in the relationship activities with my man and these other women. Maybe I am just old fashion and still believe that a relationship should only consist of two people, not three and four. Or am I behind in the times? Is this the future for dating in our society?

I am quite sure a lot of men could go for this kind of dating and gives it two thumbs up, but I only see a lot of heart ache and disappointment in this kind of dating. Women are very emotional creatures and it takes a very special woman to partake in this style of dating and I aint one of them.



I’m just saying..



C Double R!