Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Three Stages of a Man According to C Double R!

First let me put this disclaimer out there, this is solely my opinion based on my experiences and observations of men. My Masters Degree is in Organizational Leadership not Psychology, however, I do believe after reading this article most, if not all, of you will agree that I make some very valid points when it comes to the Three Stages of a Man in regards to relationships.

I believe there are three stages that a man could possibly go through when it comes to relationships. Those stages are Player Stage, Metamorphosis Stage and Ready to Settle Down Stage. However, let me premise this by saying that all men do not reach or complete all three stages. It’s very similar to Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development for a child. Everyone knows that there are five stages to Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development; oral, anal, phallic, latency and genital stages. However, some children never complete all five stages, same with my theory when it comes to the three stages that men can possibly go through when it comes to relationships.

The first stage is the Player Stage. This is the stage where basically the man is “just doing him”. He is dating numerous women simultaneously, lying, cheating, and doing whatever he can to keep the sex flowing. I believe most men have gone through this stage at one point or another in their life. This stage usually occurs when a young man initially starts dating and unfortunately this stage can last for an entire life time for some men. I know men in their forties who are still in the Player Stage when it comes to relationship.

This can also be a very dangerous stage because most men are reckless in this stage. Reckless in the sense where they are not properly protecting themselves sexually or reckless with their lies, which can result in numerous children, sexually transmitted diseases and/or a lot of hurt women. And we all know hell has no fury like a woman scorn, so men beware of the women you date in this stage because some of you might not make it to the next stage if you happen to “cross” the wrong woman.

The second stage is the Metamorphosis Stage. This is the stage that most men reach once they are tired of juggling different women and is ready to settle down or they have been hurt or have hurt the woman that they truly loved. This is the stage of reflection. This is the stage where the man is ready to get serious with his life when it comes to having a relationship with a woman. He goes through a cleansing stage. In this stage he may practice abstinence and focus on his inner self before he decides to engage in a serious relationship with a woman. I call it the Metamorphosis Stage because this is the “crossing over” stage. This is the stage where the man is trying to get to the other side, which is the Settling Down Stage.

Unfortunately, this could be a good and a bad thing for the woman who is in this man’s life at this stage. It’s a good thing because usually in this stage the man is very honest, sometimes brutally honest, to the women that he does meet while he is in this stage. Most women love and can respect an honest man. It’s bad because the woman will never really know if this man can and will ever crossover to the other side. It’s almost as if the man is in limbo and the woman is actually taking a gamble on this man, hoping and praying that he does reach the other side. Because at this point she doesn’t know just like the man doesn’t know if he will ever crossover to the Settling Down Stage.

The Final stage is the Settling Down Stage. This is the stage that every woman wishes she could meet her man in, but unfortunately, some men never peak to this stage. This is the stage where the man has gotten all of the playerism out of his system, had time to reflect and learn from his previous actions and now has positioned and prepared himself to be in a commitment relationship.

Unfortunately, just like some men never leave the Player Stage or the Metamorphosis Stage, some men never reach the Settling Down stage and this includes married men too! Oh yes, a man can be married but can still be in the Player Stage or in the Metamorphosis Stage, unbeknownst to his wife. In the ideal world we all want to meet “the right” guy in the Settling Down Stage but that’s just not reality.

I believe, we as women, know what stage a man is in when we meet him we just don’t want to acknowledge it. So I will leave you with this you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. If it doesn't sound or feel right, nine times out of ten it isn’t.

I’m just saying!

C Double R!


  1. Damn, I never knew a woman who could really "read" a man the way you understand men, are you sure you were born a woman? Lol.

  2. Shaneaka Rhoads:
    I think a man's metamorphosis goes hand in hand with a woman's. This day and age I think women go thru stages as well. Stages of what they are willing to put up with from a man to fnding her own self-worth. Thats when they become the qualtiy woman the guys were talking about. When they reach the stage recognizing their own self worth.
    about a minute ago

  3. Very interesting. There's a lot of merit to this. Keep up the good work.