Thursday, March 28, 2013

Wanting vs. Needing Someone- Learn from Phaedra and Apollo

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend today. Let me describe this person to you. This is an attractive mid twenty –something young lady who has a lot going on for herself. She owns her own house, car, has a good job, very ambitious, no children and is currently in graduate school at an Ivy League university. She has a great personality and is very giving and loving when it comes to her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is not as far along as she is in life. He is not college educated, works two jobs to maintain and to fix up his house. He’s not able to lavish her with expensive gifts but this is ok with her because she loves him for him, period. Here’s the problem, he has a problem because she doesn’t need him but want him.

The other day they had an intense conversation and she was trying to explain to him that she doesn’t need him because she can support herself financially, but she wanted him because she loved him. His response was if you don’t need me then maybe I should just leave since you don’t need me. So she came to me today and I could tell that she was very frustrated and didn’t know what to do because she felt like he misconstrued what she said to him. My response to her was that she needs to sit him down and explain the difference between wanting and needing a person.

Just because a person needs you don’t necessarily mean they love you. They may need you because you take care of them financially, sexually or do other things for them that enhance their life. However, when someone wants you most of the time it is because they truly love you for you and not what you can do for them. So Fellas when your woman tells you that she wants you, but don’t necessarily need you take it as a compliment and not an insult. Would you rather be with a woman who wants you for you or need you because of what you can do for her and really never know if she truly loves you?

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

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