Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"You're A Good Woman Just Too Damn Big To Be My Woman!"


This is a topic I had to speak on because I have had this conversation with several of my male counterparts and each time I get heated when I have this discussion with a man.

Ok everyone peep this, true story. I have a really good male friend. He is a very attractive man who loves attractive women. He meets this woman (which is not his traditional flavor) he starts dating her, but never really exclusively. So one day we’re having a conversation and he says to me, “Chanel, this woman is like no other woman I have ever met! When I go over to her house she has my bath water ready with my favorite soap and my toothbrush laid out with my favorite toothpaste and my dinner is ready when I get out of the tub. She rubs me down and caters to me in every way possible sexually. She even packs my lunch EVERY day for work (I am talking homemade meals not sandwiches).” So I am thinking to myself damn does she have a brother that can cater to me the same way!! So I ask the obvious question, “So what is the problem?” His exact words were, “She is big as shit!!” Then he goes on to say she is a beautiful girl in the face, but she is just too damn big!

At this point I am furious!! So we go into the whole male/female conversation on how men are physical creatures and women are emotional creatures and so on and so forth. So eventually I just told him, if you truly felt that way about her then you should have never gotten involved with this woman, period!! This situation went on for over three years until he finally had the balls to tell her that she deserves better.

So of course I had to survey all of my male friends in regards to this issue and it wasn’t until I had this conversation with a male friend who kinda put things in perspective for me. So I had to take the Chris Rock stance, I don’t agree with it, but I understand!!

So here’s the deal, he says, what if you met a man and one of the qualities that attracted you to him was that he was a hard working brotha, good job, great work ethic then all of a sudden he just said fuck it and stopped working and laid around all day playing video games? He said men hold a woman’s appearance in the same regard that women hold a man’s work status and ethic.

Now, he did agree that dude should have never gotten involved with ole girl if he knew she wasn’t his flavor from the gate! He then went on to say, what if you and I got together and right now you take care of yourself by working out riding your bike, walking the treadmill to keep in shape, then all of a sudden you just stopped working out and started eating twinkies all day and gained 50 pounds. He said then I wouldn’t be the same person he married and was attracted to, same with him, he wouldn’t be the same man I married if he just stopped working. These are the different qualities that appease the sexes. Bottom line is, men are physical creatures and women are not only emotional creatures, but are drawn to strong powerful men or at least a brotha with a job!!!

I don’t agree with it, but I understand (in my Chris Rock voice)!!


What’s your take and keep it 100?





C Double R!

1 comment:

  1. Unfortunately, I do understand as well. Our elders says that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but when we meet someone in person we attract and flirt from physical attraction first...then communicate. I dont believe love should be based on physical attraction but too many people is concerned with what others say. Some people rather have eye candy on their shoulder than true love in their heart.

    Lyn Foster

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