Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Age Old Question: Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

Is light skin still preferred over dark skin, when it comes to our sistas? I was listening to the radio driving in to work and I caught an interview on how Gabrielle Union constantly compares herself to other women, especially light skin sistas. She made a statement in a magazine interview how she has a complex about her nose and she always scan the room to see if there are any light skinned women in the room that looks better than her? WTF!! Are you serious?? I have personally met this woman and this woman is simply gorgeous, naturally (no plastic surgery of any kind)! She could easily pass for twenty-something, the woman is pushing 40!!

Why do women, especially beautiful women always compare themselves to other women? Are we that uncomfortable in our own skin that we can’t accept ourselves as we are? I will admit, I noticed as early as kindergarten that the boys always liked the light skinned, light eyes, long hair little girls. Us little chocolate drops with nappy hair didn’t stand a chance.

True story, when I was a kid in grade school I had a major crush on this guy, I use to send him little notes asking him to be my boyfriend, check the box yes, no, or maybe (Yall old heads remember those notes?). I use to daydream about him all the time. Of course he always went for the light skinned, long hair pretty girls and never paid chocolate drop nappy headed me no attention. Now fast forward to a few years ago, I ran into this dude and he was all over me, telling me how beautiful I looked, and how I filled out well (I was a flat-chested string bean all the way up to high school) and how sexy I was. I was like dayumm, I felt like Mike Jones, “Back in the day you didn’t want me!” The ironic thing about the whole story is that he ended up marrying a short hair, beautiful dark skinned sista. Go figure!

So do most men still prefer light skinned women or dark skinned women? When I was younger I always wished I had straighter hair, but I never wanted to be light skin. I love the complexion of my skin, I wouldn’t change it for nothing in the world. However, when you turn on the television and you see these actors, athletes and even politicians with either a very light skinned black woman or white woman, it really makes you wonder, wow, a dark sista just don’t stand a chance!

I think some black men today just like a variety of women, dark, light, different ethnicities, short, tall, etc. and some just still prefer light or white and would never look at a dark skinned woman as being beautiful. The ironic thing is most of these brothas are dark brothas! So I ask these brothas, do you have self hatred? Do you dislike yourself because of your skin tone and/or your race? Because what I have learned is that you can’t hate the root of the tree and love the tree. You must love yourself as a whole. Embrace that chocolate skin that you are in. I personally love my black, dark chocolate brothas, wouldn’t have it any other way!!

So I ask the question is light skin still better than dark skin?

I’m just saying???

C Double R!!


  1. I'm a dark skin dude and growing up and still till this day dark skin females will not give me a chance at all but the light skin female hey they throw themselves at me which is all good, but I would prefer a dark skin sista but damn can’t seem to find one that’s down with a dark skin dude. I know they are out there but damn they are hard to find. So with that said I believe dark skin ladies prefer light skin dudes and light skin ladies prefer dark skin dudes.

  2. I used to have a thing for light skinned (or skinned-ded as we say on the street) women. Yet, they weren't my preference. I like all women. I tend to find "the" attractive quality in a woman no matter the tone of her skin, size of her waist or look on her face. My motto is that if a woman has a good spirit, treats me like a king and is open to be treated like a queen, then she has the opportunity to be with me! Ultimately, superficiality has never been my thing. So, I try to make sure that I like the "person" and aren't drawn in by those things that will deteriorate over time. That's important because I wouldn't wanna love you any less if the light got dark or the dark got darker, the boobs sag, the pretty round-brown went down or if the head is dead! Women are one of GOD's greatest creations and when people mature to a level of loving the inside of a person and not the outside sex would be better and relationships would last longer...!

  3. @ C Double: Naw, no brothers. GOD didn't want 2 of me in the world. I'm "bad" enough all by myself! Oh..., and you can't trust a big butt and a smile anyway... (lol).

  4. @ Anonymous very eloquently stated! I love that there is a brotha out there that is also looking for inner beauty and not just a big booty! Shoot do you have a brotha!! Lol
    @ True Man, that’s a very good question. I don’t know why attractive women are labeled crazy. Mmm, I may have to blog about it
    Thanks for blogging..

  5. TrueMan has left a new comment on your post "The Age Old Question: Light Skin vs. Dark Skin":

    First, Gabrielle Union is FINE no matter who she's compared to. It sounds like she has complex. Why are all the pretty women regardless of skintone (Gabrielle Union, Halle, Mariah) crazy? That's what gets me.

    Note: Let Gabrielle know that she is free to call me anytime.

    As to light skinned and dark skinned, there's beauty in all of that. I just think that men prefer women they can get along with, no matter what their skin tone. No matter what skin tone, if you're an a$$hole, you're an a$$hole.

  6. Hey it's Ang'. Light skin or dark skin it doesn't matter because we all bleed RED. My husband used to date only light skin women however he never found one that had all of the qualities he needed for a wife. Guess who got bling, bling? Your right, Mrs. Chocolate Girl!! I have all the qualities plus a few tricks under my sleeve BOOM!!

  7. Ang I hear you girl. Some men ask me why I don't like alot of compliments. It's not that I don't like them I'm still shock that all of a sudden I am the flavor of the month, every month! I just feel like Mike Jones, "Back in the day you didn't want me!!"

    Thanks for blogging girl!!

  8. I still get shy sometimes with my husband when he says hey beautiful. Growing up I used to hate hearing you're pretty to be dark skinned. WTF is that suppose to mean and I damn!!

    I enjoy the blogs, keep it up!!

  9. @ Anonymous. Exactly, it's not that we don't like the compliments, it's just that growing up we didn't get many of them and when we did it was always with a qualifying statement (You're pretty to be dark skinned) I'm glad you can relate, because I feel the same way.

    Thanks for blogging my fellow dark skinned sista!

  10. Hey C double R. it never ceases to amaze me about the impact of white supremacy. As black folks we span the entire specturm in terms of human skin tones. You cannot help but find a sistah that floats your boat. C dub you just a fine sistah period!! Im dark and light skin women seem to really be attracted to me but, I have a fairly broad sense of what I think is attractive. I have had the pleasure of dating some beautiful dark chocolate women and some very beautiful light skin women. I don't how fine you are, I will not deal with airhead. A sistah has to have something to say and not superficial shyt but have some understanding of the world around her. I will take a sistah who is not conventionally good looking any day over one who is fine but dumb as a brick. It seems that Haley and Gabriel are fine but they got issues!! Even if I had the opportunity, no thank you I'll pass.

  11. @ Anonymous thanks for the compliment and thanks for blogging...

  12. Hey Chanel:
    i am Marvin and i have red ur article, i had only date white girls in my life. It wasnt because i thin white girls are more beautiful. i adore my sexy curvacious ebony skinned beauties from the bahamas but it just worked out that only white women like my girlfriend is a very beautiful girl as well.
    I think because a black man dates or marries a white woman that doesnt mean he does not like black women or find them less appealing. But if he only likes white or non black women then i can see it as version of self hatred. However who a man chooses to love should be based on internal chemistry between the two and not color. In my cse i have only dated white women not because i dont like black women but i just never connected with a black woman as i have with my presen and past girlfriends but i love my black women. then again love transcends racial , genotypical and phenotypical barriers.
    i would love to experience dating a bleack woman that i can gel with. How could I ever win the hear of a black woman/ Are black women and white women that different ? Please advise me.


  13. was reading your article (Light skin vs. Dark skin). I am a 56 year old light skin woman with hair to my shoulders.
    I always felt uncomfortable because of my complexion. I never felt better than any other black women because to me I feel that when a white man sees me he sees a black women. I always wish that I had more color to my skin. I always felt that darker skin ladies are more beautiful than light skin. When I was little I was always called black from white folks and was told to go back to Africa. I love my blackness and would not want to be anything else.

    I truly wish that all blacks would love who they are and see the beauty in what God has given us. We come in all colors.
    Being a light skin black women did not bring me any extra privileges.

    I am however upset when I see Black men always turning to white women. I see nothing wrong with inter-racial relationships, however when Black men only go after white women (Tiger Wood) it hurts.

    We need to stop fighting within and love who we are and love each other.