Friday, September 11, 2009

Take a Picture It Last Longer- The I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick

Fellas, have you ever met that banging Sista? I mean, fine as hell, body like a Goddess, truly flawless, a true dime piece? Everywhere you go she turns heads, men and women. She’s like E. F. Hutton when she steps into the room everything stops. She’s the showstopper and the trophy on your arm whenever you two are together. You think to yourself damn, I hit the jackpot, can’t nobody touch my baby, not even Halle Berry.

You run and tell all your boys about her, how fine she is and how everybody is jealous of you because you have the baddest chick everywhere you go. You keep a thousand pictures of her in your wallet, on your phone, computer, and desk at work, shit you might even wear her around your neck on a chain. Every time someone asks is this your lady you break out into a big ass Kool-Aide smile and say yes. Then you admit to yourself, damn I never thought I could get a woman this beautiful, fine and sexy. You feel like you’re in heaven until you really get to know her and you say to yourself WTF have I gotten myself into!!!

I mean this chick can’t cook, clean, can’t hold an intelligent conversation unless it’s about her or the latest fashion, and sex, you can forget about sex! Every position messes up her hair, or she hates sweat and God forbid you smear her make up with a kiss. She only does missionary position because everything else is too risque and down- right nasty. She jumps up afterwards and takes a shower because she can’t stand being dirty, she doesn’t like to cuddle afterwards she just wants to fix herself up and look pretty again. WTF!! Who wants to deal with this bullshit? Yeah she may be fine, but she sure aint sexy in the bedroom, you might have more fun having sex with a blow up doll!

When it comes to cooking, are you kidding me?? This chick thinks throwing a microwave meal together is gourmet cooking, and you’re lucky if you get that twice a week because the rest of the week she expects you to take her out to a fine restaurant. In the beginning this was cool because you wanted to show her off to the public and make the other men jealous, but now you know the real deal and you’re constantly walking around with a woody because she aint giving you none, you’re like the hell with that shit. After awhile that beauty shit wears off and so does your tolerance for the bull. Every man wants a beautiful woman, but what good is it to have a beautiful woman if she doesn’t have any substance to her? I guess that’s why so many men are shock when they hear that an attractive woman can cook and shoot they feel like they really hit the jackpot if she is intelligent too.

So you ask, how can you detect this kind of woman? Well fellas, if and when you meet her she is staring at herself in anything that shows her reflection then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If she only talks about herself during your conversation then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If you only see her looking at the pictures in fashion magazines and never reading the articles then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If she thinks the Speaker of the House is the speaker to her stereo system at home and not Nancy Pelosi then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick. If you ask her if she knows how to sear fish and she responds I don’t go fishing I might break a nail then she is I Know I’m Too Beautiful Chick.

Some guys can tolerate this type of chick, especially if he is vain himself because vain people like to be around other vain people, let’s keep it real. They want to be each other’s showpiece. That’s what’s wrong with society everybody wants to focus on the exterior instead of focusing on the interior. One thing I have learned as I have gotten older is that the exterior fades but the interior is forever. So men, remember when you’re out there chasing the baddest chic if she doesn’t have any substance you have a shell of a woman, and what happens to shells? They crack and most of the time there’s nothing inside.

I’m just saying………


C Double R

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