This one is an extremely interesting one. This is the chick that when you meet her and you explain to her that you are not interested in a relationship, just looking for someone to kick it with and chill with from time to time, says she’s cool with that. She doesn’t stress you about your time and whereabouts. You can talk freely to her about other women and she even talks to you about other men that she is seeing, it’s a real comfortable situation because you can come and go as you please, you both understand that this is not an open relationship, this is just a “cool ass situation”.
This is the chick that you can go to the movies with, take trips with, go to events with, with no strings attached. You know her family, she knows yours, and everybody knows that you two aren’t a couple, you all are just cool like that. Now in your head you don’t think nothing of it and continue to do your thing when it comes to seeing other women and just doing “you”. All the while this “buddy” of yours, that we will call your “Homie, Lover Friend” is scheming her ass off to reel your ass in and the hopes that she will eventually make you all hers! Yes, fellas, this is the chick that you have been telling your innermost feelings to, who knows you inside out, you put your trust in this woman because you truly see her as just a close buddy and you feel comfortable confiding in her you most deepest thoughts. All the while she is taking mental notes and hanging on to your every word.
I have a male friend who had a friend just like this. He had known this woman for years and she knew basically everything about him, from his personal information (social security#, address, work information) family and friends. This guy started getting prank calls about 4 years ago and it had gotten so bad that he tried to have them traced but the phone company was giving him a hard time about tracing the calls, he needed to get a police report and specific dates and times and then they told him he needed something else, so at that point he didn’t pursue it any longer. Besides, he was going overseas for a year and he decided to deactivate his phone while he was away in the hopes that when he gets back that the prank calls will stop. However, when he came home and reactivated his phone 2 days later the prank calls started again. Not only was this person calling him, but they also started calling women that he frequently spoke to, including me. This person would call my phone through the nite and sometimes 10-15 times in a row. Over a 6 month period this person had called me over 300 times. So I told him he better do something about it or I would. So eventually he went through the process of having the calls traced and low and behold it came back as a woman that he had been close to and dealing with for over 5 years. A woman whom he thought he had an understanding with, someone he thought he was cool with and had told some of his deepest thoughts to. He couldn’t believe it. Of course when he confronted her she tried to deny it, but when he put the proof in her face she finally admitted to him she did it and said she did it because he told her that he would never be with her like that. Aint that some bull shiggity!!
Here is a man, who thought he had an ace boom coon and instead he had a crazy ass psycho on his hands that was not only harassing him, but his female friends too! After he told her he was going to press charges if she continued to call she stole his phone, cell phone bill and the police report, basically all of the evidence, from his house. Then to top it off the crazy ass threaten to wreck his shit, meaning his job, the man’s livelihood! All of this because a man just wants to be cool with you, but not your man! Sorry, but bitch get a grip!! Aint no man is worth you losing your sanity and freedom!
So fellas, be cautious when a woman is a little too willing to be buddy-buddy after you tell her that you are not looking for anything serious. I’m not saying that all women have an ulterior motive when they say that they are cool with this because some women are truly cool with that, and I am one of them. That’s just because I am not in the habit of keeping men that don’t want to be kept. I figure if you’re not interested in me on that level but we vibe on another level, why get rid of a good thing especially if both of you are cool with the status.
My advice to the fellas is let the woman know as soon as you know if this situation is not for you or if your just not looking for a relationship. After you tell her, make mental notes, look for any changes in her attitudes, does she display what she say? Does she gets an attitude or cuts you off when you talk about other women? Is she always trying to monopolize all of your time? Does she use sex as a negotiating device? Because if her demeanor changes and she aint displaying what she is saying than you better stop playing. Nip the shit in the bud and keep it moving because the longer you stay in that situation the higher the probability that you are getting your ass into something that you may not be able to get out!!!
Just food for thought!
C Double R