Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Dispelling The 90 Day Rule

If you survive and get past the first date and things start to progress, fantastic! However, don’t put pressure on you or your potential new mate. Take it slow. Right now you may be asking yourself should I follow the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule to increase your chances of having a potential successful relationship? My answer will be a resounding NO! For those of you how are not familiar with the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule let me give you a quick overview. Steve Harvey believes there should be no sex prior to 90 days of meeting/dating someone. He believes this should be enough time to see whether or not you are compatible and if you have a future with someone. He believes having premature sex can alter the way you feel about someone which can result in convoluted thoughts which can mask the reality of your relationship. Basically, he believes sex gets in the way of forming a real bond with a person if you have it prior to the first 90 days of getting to know someone. Really, Steve?

Let me give you my reason why I don’t believe in the 90 Day Rule Theory and why it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because when you’re trying to form a relationship the focus should be based on the “connection and bond” that you form not the amount of days that you know each other before you decide to have sex. So what happens on the 91st day? You can have intimate relationships because you two survived the first 90 days and everything here on out is golden? I don’t think so.

This is the biggest flaw in Steve Harvey’s theory. One should focus on the continuity, attraction, similar interests and beliefs you have with a person and not the amount of time that you spend with a person. My recommendation is to throw the calendar out the window when dating! We usually know in a relatively short period of time if we could have a “potential” relationship with someone and at other times we know when we don’t have a connection with someone.

There are usually four steps in a meaningful relationship: dating, courting, engagement and marriage. Does it mean that you shouldn’t have sex in the dating phase? Absolutely not, again, it’s about the connection and not about the calendar. There is no one blueprint when it comes to dating. Each dating experience is different.

Am I saying you should jump someone’s bones when you first meet just because there is a physical attraction? No, but what I am saying is learn to “discover” a person before you undress a person. This could happen in 30 days, 90 days or maybe 120 days there is no one “date” on the calendar or no magical number of days that is ubiquitous which determines when you should sleep with someone. That is just a ridiculous theory.

Remember, if you keep your focus on the connection, beliefs and similarities that you have with a person as oppose to the calendar I guarantee you the chances of you having a successful relationship will be much greater.


I'm just saying!

C Dub R

If you have any questions for C Double R please email cdoubler2@gmail.com Also don't forget to pick up her suspense book REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com or Amazon