Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When Your Mate Cheats: Should You Forgive, Get Even or Leave?


This must be the million dollar question. What should you do if you discovered that your mate has cheated on you? Do you forgive? Get even? Or packed your stuff and hit the door? There is no one answer for this very complex question. It actually depends on the individual relationship.


First, let me clarify by saying I don’t condone, endorse or enforce cheating but we all have to understand that there is a reaction for every action. For example, if your mate has repeatedly told you that they feel neglected and you need to be more attentive and you choose not to do something about it then this could open up the possibilities of your mate cheating on you. Does this make his or her cheating justifiable? No, but the warning signs were there. But the cheating incident becomes an opportunity to sit your partner down and have a serious talk about your future together and see if the relationship is worth saving. Believe it or not, sometimes when cheating affects a relationship it can make the relationship bond stronger because both partners, especially the cheater, can come to realize what they have and almost lost.


One thing that is not prudent is returning the favor by going out to cheat just to get even. If you do, what does that say about you? If you cheat then you are just as guilty as your partner, if not more. Again, not condoning cheating, but if your partner warned you about your lack of attention to their needs and you refused to change at least he or she tried to talk to you before they turned to an inside person, you on the other hand, is doing it just to get even. Or is this something that deep down inside you've wanted to do and is now cashing in your free cheating chips because your partner cheated on you? This is never the answer because both of you will grow to resent each other which will make for a horrible future together.

Unfortunately, some relationships are plagued with habitual cheaters. No matter what you do to please your partner they will continue to go out and cheat, regardless of anything that you do! Some people aren’t meant to be in a monogamous relationship, period. It doesn’t necessarily mean he or she doesn’t love you, they may just have an insatiable desire to be with numerous people at the same time. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you find yourself in this type of relationship then it may be time for you to go solo. One thing I’ve learned, I said it before and I will continue to say it, never make someone a priority when you are just one of many options for them! Step you self worth game up and bounce!

I’m just saying.



C Double R!

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