Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The First Date Jitters- Do’s and Don’ts

It really doesn’t matter if you are 21, 31, 51 we all have first date jitters. We all run through the gamete of emotions; excitement, nervousness, and ambiguity when it comes to the first date. Why, because no one really knows what to expect from a first date. It’s as if we become obsessed with the unknown, will we have anything in common, will we click, will he bore me, and how can I cut the date short if I don’t like him? These are all of the questions that run through our heads right before that first date.

Well here are a few things that you should and shouldn’t do on a first date. First, relax. Keep in mind that this is “only” a date, not a job interview. You do not have to bring your resume or three references with you on the date. Besides, something had to attract you to this person in the first place or you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation for a date, not unless it is a bind date, and even so, the same rules apply.

Try to have fun even if there isn’t a love connection. This is still a leisure activity that you planned, so make the best of it. The person may not be your soul mate but he or she could turn out to be a very good friend. Give it a chance. Don’t cut the person off right away if there isn’t an instant attraction to this person. Some of the best and longest marriages have derived from great friendships.

Go on the date with an open-mind. Do not go on the date with a negative attitude. Don’t look for reasons or make up reasons not to like this person without getting to know the person. Some of us can self-sabotage our own happiness because we are too afraid of being happy or worst, the unknown.

Try to plan an activity that you enjoy; biking, bowling, or dancing just in case the person is not what you expected, at least you can still enjoy the activity of the date. Remember, in some cases dating is like shopping, sometimes you have to keep looking until you find what you like and sometimes you won’t find it in the first store that you go into, but you still want your shopping experience to be a good one.

Now here are some of the “don’ts” on the first date. Never ever bring up previous relationships, especially ones that ended badly or ones that you are still not over yet. This will send a red flag to the other person and this is a sure way to get the other person running in the opposite direction fast! Try to stick to basic subjects and try your best not to bring up heated debatable subjects such as religion, previous relationships, or politics.

Don’t interrogate the person on the first date. Don’t throw a barrage of questions at the person all at once. Don’t ask about financial status, credit report, or if the person have a criminal record. Are these all important topics? Yes, but are they necessary questions to ask on the first date? No. Again, remember this is a first date not a police interrogation room and you are not a detective. You are here to get to know the person in general. These are questions to ask once there is a mutual interest and you both have decided that this is something that you want to pursue.

Don’t offer your family plans on the first date, this may scare the other person away. He or she may think that you are ready to get married tomorrow! Try to keep the conversation light, such as what kind of activities you like, movies, foods and things that make you smile. Try not to monopolize the conversation either. Ask the other person questions about them, don’t hog the spotlight.

If you follow these basic rules I guarantee you that you will have a decent date at the least. Remember you are on the date to get to know the person, but in very general terms, no need to over think it. Just go into it with an open mind and don’t put expectations on the other person or yourself. But most of all try to have fun!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

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