Is Cheating a Choice, Not a Promise?

I was watching a movie the other day that was about a woman who had a 10 year affair on her husband. She made a statement in the movie that really resonated with me because it made me pause the movie and write the statement down. She asked her husband if he ever cheated on her and his response was he made a promise that he would never cheat on her. Her response was cheating is a choice not a promise. I wrote down that statement immediately because it really made me wonder is that really true? She went on to say no one can ever really make a promise that they wouldn’t cheat because one never knows how the heart may connect with another. WOW!


I was actually taking aback by that statement, but the more I analyzed it I found some legitimacy to that statement. It actually made me think of the song by Babyface and Pebbles “Love Makes Things Happens”. It’s a song that describes how one can never know when they may fall in love with someone even if they are already taken. It’s a verse in the song that says:

There's never a time

'Cause love will let you know

Love appears at the worst and even the best of times

Takes over your mind

Your heart is not your own

There's no way of controlling love

It controls your life

This leads me back to the question, “Is cheating a choice and not a promise?” Is there a way to control love or to avoid complicated love? Does the heart have a mind of its own? I know these are philosophical questions, but legitimate questions. I personally believe there is always a small window of opportunity everyday to make ourselves susceptible to a stranger’s love every time we walk out the door, turn on the computer or pick up the phone.

Is love controllable? That is a question for the experts to answer. However, I believe we all are responsible for our own actions. With that being said, I believe love can be suppressed especially if your heart already belongs to another. It is up to you to decide whether or not to take the road of the unknown. Love is powerful, but the brain is even more powerful. In some cases it’s better to think with your mind and not your heart.

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.crazyazzwomen.blogspot.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Scary Inconsistencies at U.S. Airport Security Checks

 

I had to write this letter because I am very troubled when it comes to the US airport security procedures. I have traveled several times in the last month for business, carrying the same personal items each and every time (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream). The first time I traveled my co-worker had her mouthwash and hairspray confiscated. I went through the detectors without a hitch, leaving and returning.

The second trip I had the same items that I always have (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream), leaving I went through security without a hitch. However, returning was a whole other nightmare. First, I had to go through the body scanner (no problem), get patted down (no problem) then my bag was searched, problem. No private room, just out in the public’s view for everyone to watch, my personal items was taken out of my bag, swabbed and my cocoa butter and facial wash was confiscated because it was more than 3 ounces.

Here is where I have a problem; I have been traveling with these same items every time I go to the airport. My question is, “Why is it that they were only confiscated now and not the numerous times before?” There are HUGE inconsistencies when it comes to US airport security. I have no problem with the body search or the body scanner, but I do have an issue when there are enormous inconsistencies when it comes to items being approved, checked and/or confiscated.



Now here’s the part that is going to blow you away (no pun intended) after going through the thorough search of my bag please explain to me why my facial cream, which was more than 3 ounces, not confiscated? So even when US airport security call themselves doing a “thorough” search by going through each item in your bag, they still neglected to confiscate items that are not allowed in carryon bags. I don’t know about you America, but I am scared to death when it comes to the US airport security. Another thing you have to think about is the “quality” of people that they hire to do this job. What really are the requirements? A high school education and a clear criminal background check? Let’s not get into the training issue.



So just to close out my horrific tale, I get on the plane and a woman who doesn’t speak English is in my seat. She checks are ticket, right seat, wrong plane JSMH (Just Shaking My Head!). Can someone please explain to me how this woman was able to get on this plane and none of the customer service reps didn’t notice she was getting on the wrong plane?



After 911 you would think the government would have trained professionals (military and or US agents) working at the airport when it comes to security. If the government can stick its nose into other industries to make them better, such as bailing out big corporations and banks, then why can’t the government stick its nose in when it comes to security at US airports?



I would like to have an experiment done where people intentionally put liquid or creams in their carryout bags that are more than 3 ounces and see how many of them get their bags checked, just to prove my point. Because currently it’s been 1 out of 4 times and the one time my bag was checked it still wasn’t properly checked.



Very Disturbed,



Getting To Happy

I was reading the latest Jet Magazine and there was an article about Terry McMillan’s Waiting to Exhale sequel “Getting to Happy”. The title alone was very intriguing. She explained how the book picks up 15 years later where the first book left off. She went briefly into the summary of the book but really didn’t give specifics about it. But because I was so intrigued by the name I know I will pick it up and read it, but also because I enjoyed the first one so much I read it twice.


The title really made me think about what Terry was trying to say, “Getting to Happy”. A lot of women are afraid of getting to happy or programmed not to get to happy alone. So many women are so broken down from their previous relationships that they can’t let go and start anew with a worthy man. They build emotional barriers around themselves that won’t allow a man to penetrate it and then they end up losing out on a good thing.

This is an open letter to all of my sisters of all shades and colors don’t let one monkey stop the show, meaning don’t let a past mistake from a previous man stop you from finding real love with another or love for yourself period! Ladies we must learn our own self worth. Once we learn and appreciate our self worth we will attract good things and people into our lives.

We as women are emotional creatures by nature but sometimes we let our emotions filter over into areas of our live that could be detrimental to ourselves and our growth. We must learn to simply LET IT GO! Start anew and treat each day like the first day of the rest of our lives. Ladies let’s take back our power and learn to appreciate our self worth!

Love Behind Bars- Real or Convenient Love?

 

I had a reader ask me to write about this topic. She wanted to know if she should let her boyfriend move in with her once he gets out of prison? She made it clear that he doesn’t beat her and he is really a good guy, but had to go back to jail for failure to appear in court for a previous case? Huh?

My advice was no, actually hell no. I have to keep it real and I can’t sugar coat this important topic even if I wanted to. Look, here’s the deal. One, he had to do something to get a case slapped on him in the first place. Two, him not showing up to court for this case shows his lack of responsibility for himself and the lack of respect for the law.

When men are in prison the only power they have is with a pen and a pad and boy do they write the perfect story with these supplies. He will tell you all of the things he thinks you want and need to hear so you can continue to come visit him, put money on his books and hopefully give him a place to live once he is out. Men in prison play this game very well and unfortunately a lot of women believe the hype!

My advice to my reader was make him prove to you that he can be a responsible adult by getting and keeping a job and by getting his life back on track. But I also advised her to continue to do her in the interim, don’t stop living your life while he is trying to get his together! Don’t allow him to shack up because if you do he won’t have any motivation to get his life back on track. Know your worth and make sure that any man you’re with knows and appreciate your worth!!

I‘m just saying..

If you’re in the Philadelphia area and need support whether it’s for family support, support from other women or just daily life support go to this link:

http://philadelphia-pa.yellowusa.com/Support_Groups.html

C Double R!

The One That Makes You Go Damn!

Ladies and men have you ever met that one that makes you go damn! You love the way this person smells, walks, smile, and not to mention how they throw it down in the bedroom. This is the woman or man that you just can’t say no to no matter what he or she does. Then you make a promise to yourself that you are through and you are cutting this person out of your life for good, but as soon as you see that person you get that fluttering feeling in your chest and you envision yourself in the bedroom with this person making mad love? Why do we do that, why do some people set themselves up just be on a rollercoaster of lust?


Pure physical attraction. Some people just have pure animalistic attraction towards one another. Yes, they know in some cases it may never go farther than the bedroom, and they both are cool with it. I think we all have met that one person, one time or another, that just does it for you. You don’t necessarily want to marry this person, or be with this person in a serious relationship, but you want to keep this person in your life.

I must say this is a rare occurrence. Of course when you first meet someone in the beginning it may be fireworks then after awhile it wears off. But when you meet that special person, no matter when you two get together or how long you two have been apart its constant fireworks, that’s a person that makes you go damn!

Not too many people can handle this kind of situation. This is a special kind of situation because both people have to be on the same accord and must know their position because no one wants unexpected drama. But if both parties are cool with the situation then more power to them. Because I will say it is very rare to find someone that can make you go damn, all the time!!

I’m just saying.



C Double R!

Concessions vs. Settling for a Man

Ladies, I know if we could create our own man we would make him with all of the characteristics on our “wish list”. Chili from TLC had a show on VH1 entitled “What Chilli Wants”. Unfortunately, what she wants doesn't exist, well at least not in one man. She is looking for a man who is super fine, washboard stomach, rich, don’t smoke or drink, God fearing, tall, no more than two baby mommas and most importantly he must be BIG in the right area!! WHAT??????? CP! (Translation Child Please!) Chilli, you couldn’t create a man like that, even if you had the tools to do so!

See, this is where I have a problem with women. Some women live in a fantasy world and that is the main reason why so many women are singled until one day they wake up and realizes that they wasted so many years looking for a man that doesn’t exist they panic and pick up the first thing that’s breathing, just so they can say they have a man!! Are you serious? So let’s see, you went from unbelievable expectations to the bottom of the barrel expectations just so you can say you have a man or just so you don’t have to be alone.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please understand the difference between making concessions for a man and settling for a man. Let me explain the difference. A concession is when you date or enter into a relationship with a man who doesn’t have some of the characteristics that you normally like in a man. For instance, you may prefer dark skinned men, but you happen to meet a light skinned brotha that have all of the important qualities that you look for in a man so you make a concession for this man. Another example is you may have a rule you only like to date tall men, but you happen to meet an average height man, who again, has all of the other important qualities that you look for in a man, so you make a concession for this man.

Now let’s talk about settling for a man, shall we. Most women settle for a man when they get desperate. Desperate to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship! It doesn’t matter if dude doesn’t have a job, 8 kids with 6 different baby mommas, beat your ass, a drunk or a habitual cheater. As long as you can say you have a man, it’s all good!

The one thing women can do to avoid getting to this stage is to learn to understand their self- worth. Period! Once you understand and can appreciate your worth then you won’t become desperate because you know what your worthy of. It will become an innate behavior which won’t allow you to settle for the crap when it comes to men or anything in life. Once a woman masters this task she will clearly know the difference between making a concession and settling for a man.

So getting back to my girl Chilli, until she can understand the difference between settling and making a concession when it comes to men she will forever find herself alone! Because believe me we all make concessions when it comes to our relationships. Trust me, whatever man she decides to be with will be making a concession too when it comes to her, because there are no perfect people in this world and that includes you too Ms. Chilli!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!



If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When a Woman's Fed Up!!

This is for the guys who think just because your woman has tolerated your bull for so long that she won’t just shut you down one day. Most women tolerate more than what they should when it comes to their mate. Women has the tendency to constantly forgive, let their men come back, accept their unfaithful ways, but please believe WOMEN never forget!


If you ever listen to the old school song “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The man describes how he comes in 5 o’clock in the morning and his woman doesn’t question where he has been and even asked if he was hungry? The next verse he sings how he’s in the hospital bandage from head to toe. Yes, this was a song about a women being fed up!

So take this as a warning guys, just because your woman isn’t addressing your wicked ways she is definitely putting them safely away in her memory bank and once that memory bank is full, watch out! I’m not saying she is going to put you in the hospital, but you could come home to an echo one day, meaning she has packed up all of her stuff and bounced. Or if you live with her, you could come home to your stuff laid out neatly on the lawn.

I’m just saying, watch how you treat people that you supposedly love, and don’t take their love for granted because one day you make wake up to a rude awakening. One more thing guys, usually when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can say or do to make her change her mind because she has reached the point of no return!

So here’s something to take away from this article, what your thoughts, because they become your words, watch your words because they become your actions, watch your actions because they become your character!



I’m just saying!!



C Double R!

Loved Up, But Not Wifed Up!

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?


The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

If your mate hasn’t married you and you want to know why there are plenty of couple counselors in the Philadelphia area.


C Double R!

Head of House- Should it be the Woman, Man or Both?

I had a very interesting conversation the other day, so of course I had to write about it, so here it goes…


I was having a conversation with a friend in regards when Barack Obama was running for the presidency. I had made mention to the fact that when Barack was on Oprah over 4 years ago and he was thinking about running for the presidency Michelle stated that this had to be a family decision because it will change the dynamics of their family and she had a career to think about too. The other party whom I was speaking to immediately stated that’s bull and the final decision is Barack’s regardless if Michelle agrees or not, however, he then went on to say he would need her full support?? WTF!! Then the other party stated the final decision should be Barack’s, who is the man of the house, period! So I shot back, that’s why they are still married because they discuss important decisions as a family unit, not independently!

So, I ask the question when it comes to important decisions for the household who should make the decision, the man of the house, the woman of the house or should it be a joined decision?

I’m just saying..


C Double R

Dating Outside Your League!!

Time to keep it real, so let’s go! Nothing pisses me off more than having someone request something from a potential mate that they can’t even provide for themselves, you all know what I’m talking about. For example, a man who’s always talking about he only wants to date “dime” pieces. Translation, this means one of two things. He only wants to date a woman with all of the external qualities that stands out, a pretty face, banging body and very stylish. Or it could mean that he wants everything previously mentioned (outstanding physical characteristics) as well as well-educated, independent, classy and also a freak when she needs to be.


There is nothing wrong with these types of requests if you are also fulfilling the same requests for your potential mate. For example, you can’t request a dime piece, whether it’s just the physical or the full package dime piece, and your credentials aren’t up to par. You are requesting a Pamela Grier exterior but you are a Fat Albert, sorry but I’m just saying. Or you are requesting a Michele Obama and you have a G.E.D.

The bottom line is don’t request something from someone else that you can’t fulfill for yourself. Men tend to be more of sticklers for these kinds of requests than women. A financially successful woman would date a man who makes less money than her before a man would date a woman that is not his physical “cup of tea.”

Some people look to others to validate who they are and to confirm their self- worth. If you want self- worth then YOU have to create your self- worth, no one else can do that for you. Be what you like! If you like physically fit women or men then get that ass in the gym! Join the team, don’t be a spectator of the sport. If you want a successful partner, work on your own plan to be successful yourself. Trust me, when someone sees that you can bring just as much to the table as they do they will respect you more.

I just don’t respect someone who puts all of these demands on someone else in order for that person to be their mate when they can’t even hold a candle to the person that they are requesting. Really?

I’m just saying.

C Double R!