Foreplay in the Club - Turn On or Turn Off?

This question is for both the men and the women, “Do you have a problem with your mate going to the stripper club as a form of foreplay?” I have been told several times that this is one of the best places to have foreplay because once they get home it is on and popping.


When I say foreplay, I don’t mean physical contact or sexual activity in the club, but the visual effects of it all. I have been told that it arouses the sexual desires to have sex with their mate. REALLY?? Some women will disagree with this logic. Some women feel as though if you want to be sexual aroused then it is their job to get you to that state, not some random chick you wish you could bang! I personally don’t have a problem with my man going to the club and hanging out with his boys, do you, but make sure you’re not doing anyone else in the process, you feel me?

Some women think this is just some malarkey that men (and some women) use as an excuse to go to the club and fantasize and unfortunately sometimes do more. The point being, when your mate comes home and you all are getting busy, who are you really thinking about, the stripper on the pole, or your mate? Please don’t answer that question, but in some cases I think I know the answer.

True story, I have a friend who said for her man’s birthday she took him to a strip club and for his gift, well let’s just say she had a female stripper do things to her that pleased her man so much that when they got home that night they had the best sex ever. Now, I think this is a whole other topic to blog about separately, but apparently couples do this kind of thing to add spice to their sex life.

So do you oppose your mate going to the strip club to get his/her foreplay on? Do you encourage or discourage it? Do you participate and go with him/her? Do you find it sexy or demeaning, or perhaps insulting?

I personally rather pull out the stilettos and the one piece and star in my own show from start to finish I don’t need an opening act, I like to be the only star of the show.

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Wanting vs. Needing Someone- Learn from Phaedra and Apollo

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend today. Let me describe this person to you. This is an attractive mid twenty –something young lady who has a lot going on for herself. She owns her own house, car, has a good job, very ambitious, no children and is currently in graduate school at an Ivy League university. She has a great personality and is very giving and loving when it comes to her boyfriend.


Her boyfriend is not as far along as she is in life. He is not college educated, works two jobs to maintain and to fix up his house. He’s not able to lavish her with expensive gifts but this is ok with her because she loves him for him, period. Here’s the problem, he has a problem because she doesn’t need him but want him.

The other day they had an intense conversation and she was trying to explain to him that she doesn’t need him because she can support herself financially, but she wanted him because she loved him. His response was if you don’t need me then maybe I should just leave since you don’t need me. So she came to me today and I could tell that she was very frustrated and didn’t know what to do because she felt like he misconstrued what she said to him. My response to her was that she needs to sit him down and explain the difference between wanting and needing a person.

Just because a person needs you don’t necessarily mean they love you. They may need you because you take care of them financially, sexually or do other things for them that enhance their life. However, when someone wants you most of the time it is because they truly love you for you and not what you can do for them. So Fellas when your woman tells you that she wants you, but don’t necessarily need you take it as a compliment and not an insult. Would you rather be with a woman who wants you for you or need you because of what you can do for her and really never know if she truly loves you?

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

The Age Old Question: Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

Is light skin still preferred over dark skin, when it comes to our sistas? I was listening to the radio driving to work and I caught an interview on how Gabrielle Union constantly compares herself to other women, especially light skin sistas. She made a statement in a magazine interview how she has a complex about her nose and how she always scan the room to see if there are any light skin women in the room that looks better than her? WTF!! Are you serious?? I have personally met this woman and this woman is simply gorgeous, naturally (no plastic surgery of any kind)! She could easily pass for twenty-something, the woman is pushing 40!!


Why do women, especially beautiful women always compare themselves to other women? Are we that uncomfortable in our own skin that we can’t accept ourselves as we are? I will admit, I noticed as early as kindergarten that the boys always liked the light skinned, light eyes, long hair little girls. Us little chocolate drops with nappy hair didn’t stand a chance.

True story, when I was a kid in grade school I had a major crush on this guy, I use to send him little notes asking him to be my boyfriend, check the box; yes, no, or maybe (Yall Oldheads remember those notes?). I use to daydream about him all the time. Of course he always went for the light skinned, long hair pretty girls and never paid chocolate drop, nappy headed little old me no attention. Now fast forward to a few years ago, I ran into this dude and he was all over me, telling me how beautiful I looked, and how I filled out well (I was a flat-chested string bean all the way up to high school) and how sexy I was. I was like dayumm, I felt like Mike Jones, “Back in the day you didn’t want me!” The ironic thing about the whole story is that he ended up marrying a short hair, beautiful dark skinned sista. Go figure!

So do most men still prefer light skinned women or dark skinned women? When I was younger I always wished I had straighter hair, but I never wanted to be light skin. I love the complexion of my skin, I wouldn’t change it for nothing in the world. However, when you turn on the television and you see these actors, athletes and even politicians with either a very light skinned black woman or white woman, it really makes you wonder, wow, a dark sista just don’t stand a chance!

I think some black men today just like a variety of women, dark, light, different ethnicities, short, tall, etc., and some just still prefer light or white and would never look at a dark skinned woman as being beautiful. The ironic thing is most of these brothas are dark brothas! So I ask these brothas, do you have self hatred? Do you dislike yourself because of your skin tone and/or your race? Because what I have learned is that you can’t hate the root of the tree and love the tree. You must love yourself as a whole. Embrace that chocolate skin that you are in. I personally love my black, dark chocolate brothas, wouldn’t have it any other way!!

So I ask the question is light skin still better than dark skin?

I’m just saying???

C Double R!

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Is Your Fantasy Your Reality?

I had a reader ask me this very question. He said he overheard his wife and her girlfriend discussing their fantasies and some of them were to have sex with a strange man. He wanted to know if this was just fantasy or is this something that women eventually act out? Well, that depends on the woman.


Most women fantasize, but very few actually act out their fantasies. A lot of women live vicariously through other people or things to fulfill their fantasies. They could live them out by watching porn, through their girlfriend’s sexual escapades, erotic books or by being a voyeur.

Believe it or not, your wife’s fantasies could add a little spice to your sex life. She could act out her fantasies by role playing with you. You could be that tall dark stranger that she fantasizes about and have the best sex ever.

So men don’t hate, participate, help your wife act out her fantasies to ensure that she doesn’t try to act them out with someone else. The mind is a powerful thing and just because we think about something doesn’t necessarily mean that we will act it out. Sometimes it’s refreshing to live vicariously through our fantasies, we all do it and we all have them.

However, if your mate is not sexually satisfied and continuously have an insatiable desire for sex, this can increase the probability of her acting out her fantasies with a stranger. Communication is key. Talk to your mate about her fantasies, ask her why they turn her on and try to help her live them out, with you. You may discover something about your mate you didn’t know before and like it! Better yet, you may discover something about yourself and love it!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Loved Up But Not Wifed Up

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?


The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

If your mate hasn’t married you and you want to know why there are plenty of couple counselors in the Philadelphia area.

C Double R

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Looking for Mr. Fix It Chick

Hey Fellas, have you ever met that woman that is always utilizing you for your skills? Asking you can you come over, my toilet won’t flush? Can you take a look at my electric, my lights keep flickering? Can you check my brakes, they keep making a funny noise? Can you redo my kitchen floor, its warped? And in return she fixes you dinner, give you some nookie and keep your number on speed dial!


This is the woman who will not date a man if she doesn’t think he can benefit her in some way? He has to be handy like an electrician, plumber, mechanic, or a carpenter, shoot even a barber if she has sons! If he ain’t useful then he ain’t worthy. This kind of woman scopes out men that can help her in some shape, form or fashion. She looks at it as a barter situation. You do something for me and I will do something for you. If you fix my sink, I’ll give you some food and a drink. You fix my brakes I’ll kiss the snake. If you fix my floor I’ll show you the entrance to my bedroom door.

See Fellas, she doesn’t see anything wrong with this. Besides, you’re getting what you want and she is getting what she wants. Therefore, the both of you are getting satisfied. I’m just saying, recognize the game. Don’t think just because she constantly invites you over that she is really into you. Now ask yourself this question, “Every time you go to her house does she ask you to fix or look at something, while the fried chicken is cooking on the stove and mac and cheese is baking in the oven? Or if nothing is cooking does she come to the door in a skimpy outfit or better yet a towel wrapped around her saying she just stepped out the shower then asked you to look at something that is broke? Men this is part of the mental seduction so she can get what she really wants, which is her damn stove fixed!! Dummy!!

And you’re the same man who is going around bragging saying she is feeling you, because every time you go over to her house she got food ready for you or something sexy on. All the while not mentioning what you have to do to get that damn food and her! Some men are so easily distracted when it comes to a sexy woman and a tasty plate of food. Men, when will you learn to read between the lines? Now, if you do read between the lines and you’re cool with that, then so be it. But please don’t think just because a woman is doing all of this for you and to you that she is really into you! Remember women are some of the most conniving creatures walking the planet and we definitely know how to get what we want without you ever realizing it.

I’m just saying….



C Double R

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Act Like a Lady But Be a Freak in the Bedroom

We all heard of the saying you can’t make a freak into a wife, but you can definitely make a wife into a freak. Let’s keep it real people, men love an uninhibited woman in the bedroom. Most women don’t realize their sexuality until their mid to late thirties or early forties, in some cases, never!


The sex novelist Zane said she realized she was a sexual person at a very early age in life, that’s very rare, especially for a woman. She said she embraced her sexuality very young and always enjoyed sex. Growing up most women are told to act like a lady, ladies don’t do that, let him take control when it comes to sex. So when a woman wants to get “buckwild” in the bedroom most of the time she doesn’t because she is constantly thinking about all of the things that she was told as a young woman.

I believe the older a woman becomes the more in tune she is with her body and because of that she is more uninhibited in the bedroom when it comes to sex. She knows how to please her man and is not afraid of showing it.

A mature woman knows and accepts that she has sexual desires, just like a man and it isn’t unlady like to express those desires when it comes to your man, it may even help you keep your man! A man loves a woman who embraces her sexuality and doesn’t hold back in the bedroom. Men love when their women take control in the bedroom and ladies if you only knew the power you had in the bedroom, you would embrace your sexuality with the quickness!

So ladies, I demand you to embrace your sexuality and show your man what you’re working with. Live out your fantasies, your wildest dreams and turn your man out!!

Because if you don’t step up your game in the bedroom he might find another player to substitute you!

I’m just saying!

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com