Never Take Someone You Care About for Granted

Ladies or fellas have you ever dated a person and they always thought you would be available to them no matter what? Yes, you all vibe and have a great time and see each other when you see each other but never no commitment.  But we ALL know this situationship can’t last forever. Eventually someone is gonna catch feelings and will want to take it to the next level. So what do you do?

I personally believe closed mouths don’t get fed. If you have developed feelings for someone you would only be cheating yourself if you didn’t address it. At least by addressing it you will have an answer either way. But please be prepared for all possible answers. If you get an answer that you are not happy with then you need to make the decision on whether or not this is something you want to continue. 

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to walk away from someone before they can truly appreciate you. I had a girlfriend who had to do this very thing. She was dating a man on and off for several years and when she was ready to get serious he wasn’t so she dated him until she couldn’t anymore. She met someone and was in a relationship for several years and when that ended she somehow relinked up with the previous guy and he explained to her how it hurt him to see her with another man and he always thought he had time with her and he realized he didn’t. They have since married and been happy for years now.

This outcome is not always typical, usually once a ship sails it’s gone. So my advice would be if you care for someone don’t wait until someone else snatches them up to confess your feelings to them. Confess your feelings when you have them or discover them or you could end up being that mouth that doesn’t get fed.  

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS by C Double R on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please
email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com 

A Spouse Who Enables Makes for a Spouse Unstable

 

Is Texting Hurting Your Chances at a Relationship?

As our society continues to change so does the way we communicate. But the question is, is it for the better or for the worst? Do you miss the good old days when someone you were interested in called you and you would get excited when their name would pop up on the caller id? Or go back a little further and remember the days when you would get home and you would have a message from that special someone waiting for you on your answering machine. Are those days now obsolete? We currently live in an age where everything is communicated via text even in the work place. I remember when my new coworker sent my boss a text to tell her she wouldn’t be in that day. I thought that was so inappropriate to text your boss to tell them you weren’t coming to work but little did I know that would be the “new” form of communicating to our boss. We are slowly but surely losing the “true” form of communication. The “personal” element of communication is being lost in the form of texting. Now don’t get me wrong, texting is great if you want to send a quick message but it should never take the place of a meaningful phone call nor should it be the primary source of communication, especially when you’re trying to get to know someone. Texting can also be viewed as a slippery slope. You can very well text someone while participating in “behavior” you should not be taking part in all the while giving off the illusion that you are solely thinking about the person you are texting. Hence, if your significant other calls you and you don’t answer because you’re doing “something” that you know you shouldn’t be doing you can text them back and say “I’m in a meeting. I’ll call you when I get out”. In this scenario, you have satisfied your significant other (to some degree) because you acknowledged the call and stated why you couldn’t answer and will call them back as soon as you are available. It’s a slippery slope because in all reality you could really be in a meeting and your significant other may think otherwise. My advice is if you’re truly trying to get to know someone you should put forth the conscience effort to at least call more than you text. Most importantly don’t hold long in depth conversations via text messages. Some of us truly do like the good old days when we could hear someone’s voice and listen to the inflections in their voice which would give off signs of how they truly felt when they said something, unlike a text message that can be misconstrued because you can’t put emotions into a text message. Bottom line… pick up the damn phone! I‘m just saying.. C Double R Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When does sensitivity turn into too sensitive for men?

Ladies, I understand we ALL love when a man shows his sensitive side it allows us to see his emotional side. This is rare for most men because so many of them have been raised to not show this side especially when it comes to their significant other. Most men are raised to protect, honor and love their woman and family and never let them see them cry. On the other hand, you have some men who have no problem showing their sensitive side and in some cases they show it more than their woman. The question then becomes when does sensitivity turn into bitchassness?

Ladies, how do you communicate to your man that he is being too sensitive? On one hand you’re impressed that he feels comfortable enough with you to share his emotional side but on the other hand when he starts crying or wining more than you that’s when you might ask yourself how do I tell him to man up without being insensitive?

It’s a fine line when it comes to the subject “sensitivity and men”. We as women must know when and how to communicate with our man when we feel like he is being overly sensitive without emasculating him. If you start to see a pattern with his response when it comes to certain situations try to change up your approach and if he is still overly sensitive then that’s when you have to have that conversation with him. If he becomes even more sensitive when you address the issue then perhaps at that point you should realize maybe he’s just not the man for you.

Don’t get me wrong men, a good cry every now and then is a good thing, but if your man is crying more than you and is constantly wining about every little thing then maybe you two should just be shopping partners and not life partners.

I'm just saying.

C Double R

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Why there are different grace periods for men and women

Men, let’s be honest women naturally take longer than men to get ready for a date. Therefore, by now you all should be used to our tardiness. Does it make it right? No. But I am here to say it is definitely not intentional.
This is an issue that I have been working on my entire adult life.

I had a very interesting conversation this past weekend with some friends and we stumbled upon the topic of what is a sufficient amount of time to wait if your date is running late, 15 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour? I said it depends, but there is definitely a different grace period for men than women. I have no problem if a date is running late because we all know things happen. My problem is when you’re late and you DO NOT notify me that you’re running late. That’s a no no! Therefore, if you are running late and you do not notify me then you will get a fifteen minute grace period and then I’m out. However, if you call and you tell me you’re stuck in traffic or something justifiable then I will give you the benefit of the doubt and will give you a 30 minute grace period. If you’re going to be later than that then we should just reschedule the date.
The men were a little bit more generous with the grace period. The men said they would give a 30 to 45 minute grace period if she did not notify him that she was running late. Their justification: they hate public embarrassment and humiliation. Therefore, they are willing to wait a little longer in hopes that she would eventually show and save him the public humiliation.

No man or woman likes public humiliation and I truly believe that’s why women tend to arrive a little later than men in the hopes that he is already there and she doesn't have to sit and wait for him. In addition, often women like to make a grand entrance in some cases. But we all know women indeed take longer to get ready for a date than men. If you take any poll they will all reveal that women take twice, if not, three times longer to prep for a date than men.

So the very next time you plan for a date please keep these things in mind. Women tend to take longer than men, but it is also impolite and rude to not notify your date that you’re running late, regardless if it’s 10 minutes or 30 minutes. No one likes to be stood up especially in public.

I’m just saying.

C Double R

Make sure you pick up a copy of my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS on www.cdoubler.com or on Amazon. If you would like for me to write about a specific topic or have a question or comment please email me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Dispelling The 90 Day Rule

If you survive and get past the first date and things start to progress, fantastic! However, don’t put pressure on you or your potential new mate. Take it slow. Right now you may be asking yourself should I follow the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule to increase your chances of having a potential successful relationship? My answer will be a resounding NO! For those of you how are not familiar with the Steve Harvey’s 90 Day Rule let me give you a quick overview. Steve Harvey believes there should be no sex prior to 90 days of meeting/dating someone. He believes this should be enough time to see whether or not you are compatible and if you have a future with someone. He believes having premature sex can alter the way you feel about someone which can result in convoluted thoughts which can mask the reality of your relationship. Basically, he believes sex gets in the way of forming a real bond with a person if you have it prior to the first 90 days of getting to know someone. Really, Steve?

Let me give you my reason why I don’t believe in the 90 Day Rule Theory and why it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because when you’re trying to form a relationship the focus should be based on the “connection and bond” that you form not the amount of days that you know each other before you decide to have sex. So what happens on the 91st day? You can have intimate relationships because you two survived the first 90 days and everything here on out is golden? I don’t think so.

This is the biggest flaw in Steve Harvey’s theory. One should focus on the continuity, attraction, similar interests and beliefs you have with a person and not the amount of time that you spend with a person. My recommendation is to throw the calendar out the window when dating! We usually know in a relatively short period of time if we could have a “potential” relationship with someone and at other times we know when we don’t have a connection with someone.

There are usually four steps in a meaningful relationship: dating, courting, engagement and marriage. Does it mean that you shouldn’t have sex in the dating phase? Absolutely not, again, it’s about the connection and not about the calendar. There is no one blueprint when it comes to dating. Each dating experience is different.

Am I saying you should jump someone’s bones when you first meet just because there is a physical attraction? No, but what I am saying is learn to “discover” a person before you undress a person. This could happen in 30 days, 90 days or maybe 120 days there is no one “date” on the calendar or no magical number of days that is ubiquitous which determines when you should sleep with someone. That is just a ridiculous theory.

Remember, if you keep your focus on the connection, beliefs and similarities that you have with a person as oppose to the calendar I guarantee you the chances of you having a successful relationship will be much greater.

KEEP THE CALENDAR OUT OF YOUR DATING LIFE!

I'm just saying!

C Dub R

If you have any questions for C Double R please email cdoubler2@gmail.com Also don't forget to pick up her suspense book REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com or Amazon

Is being attractive a double edge sword?

Is being attractive a double edge sword? On one hand having good looks can open many doors for opportunities. It could possibly get you free entry into events, clubs, free dinners, drinks, hired and even a promotion. But on the other hand it could create unwarranted enemies and perhaps a misconceive notion about you.


For attractive women, especially single women, being attractive can definitely be a good thing. Attractive women are very often wined and dined, taken on vacations, have personal handy men and are lavished with gifts. However, this could create tension and jealousy with other females, who we will say, are not as attractive. They will often be shunned from other women who have boyfriends or husbands; they are hated on by other women and often referred to as “stuck up” by these women. Perceived notions are developed very quickly when it comes to attractive women. They are often called spoiled, conceit and superficial even before they are able to reveal their true personality.

It’s a little different for men. I had men tell me they often use their most attractive male friend to reel in the women in the club, bar on while on vacation. Men actually use their most attractive male friend as bait to get women whereas women usually ostracize other attractive women for one of two reasons. One, because they feel inferior or because they are attractive too and don’t want to compete for attention from men.

So there you have it folks. Being attractive has both, pros and cons. However, if you are an attractive person don’t let other people thoughts and attitudes toward you make you become someone that you are not. If you got it going on then you got it going on and consider it a blessing!

****Let’s discuss****

I’m just saying.



C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

*****And my radio show every 1st & 3rd Tuesday of the month at 9pm on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/talkinginthedark******

Many can obtain but how many can sustain?

Many people can obtain but how many people can sustain? Sure, you may be able to “wow” them in the interview and get the job based on your acting skills, your enhance job experience, but how long can you sustain that job that you lied to get? Sure, many of us can qualify for a house or car based on credit only but how many can “really” afford the house that they live in or the car that they drive? Same as in a relationship, you may be able to attract a quality person but how long will you be able to keep that person once they start to unwrap that pretty package that you presented to them so well?

We all try to put our best foot forward when entering into a new relationship, especially when you know you have found a “diamond” among cubic zirconias. Sometimes we want to impress our new mate so badly that we enhance the things we have or about to get and hopefully “keep” that person’s attention. If we were once riding high and now fell off sometimes we tend to constantly talk about the past to boost ourselves up to impress that new “diamond” that we found. But as the saying goes “a man that constantly lives in the past don’t thinks he has a future”.

The presentation may be beautiful but after some time has pass and the bows start falling up that beautifully wrapped package that’s when you start to realize that you just have a beautifully wrapped empty box. Once you start to peel back the wrapping and remove all of the bows and take the lid off the box you realize the wrapping was worth more than the gift itself.

What’s the moral of this analogy, always be humble. Learn from your mistakes, downfalls and always live in the present and never try to relive the past. Everything in life happens for a reason, it is our job to figure out the lessons learned from our experiences whether good, bad or ugly. However, one can’t change what they don’t acknowledge. Nobody wants a shell of a person or a person who constantly live in the moment when they were “on top” and never address the present or plan for the future. If you found someone that can help you get back “on top” because they believe in you embrace that person and respect that person enough to let them help you get out of the past and start planning for your future.

I’m just saying…

C Double R!


Make sure you pick up my new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com and Amazon

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Just Because I'm Sexy Doesn't Mean You Can Sex Me

Just because I wear tight jeans that accentuate the roundness of my bottom, or a dress that compliment my curvy hips and thick thighs doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump in your bed. Just because I’m sexy doesn’t mean you can sex me!


I had a good friend of mine ask me to write about this topic. She wanted me to clear up the misconception of a sexy woman. Some men think just because a woman is sexy she is easy to sex. Now let’s examine the word sexy, shall we. There is a difference from being sexy and being trashy. A woman can be sexy in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. The jeans may be sexy because they hug her in all the right spots and the fitted tee shirt because it highlights her assets. She is being sexy without even trying and without exposing her skin. Trashy is when a woman is drawing attention to herself for all of the wrong reasons because she have damn near all of her orifices hanging out for the whole world to see. Ladies this is not sexy this is trashy.

As my homegirl Ms. Nikki said just because I am sexy doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you. I’m sexy and classy not sexy and trashy. I’m sexy dressed up or down. I own sexy where others have to lease it with an option to buy.

So guys learn to differentiate sexy classy from sexy trashy and once you recognize the difference make sure your game is tight if you want to be with Ms. Right. If your game is weak then you may end up with the freak of the week!

I’m just saying


C Double R!

Make sure you pick up her new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please
contact me at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Menage a Trois- Is It Worth The Risk?

This is the ubiquitous fantasy of almost every man. Men have been fantasizing about this fantasy since the beginning of time and from the start of their puberty. Every time I ask a man what is his biggest sexual fantasy the first thing that comes out of his mouth is a ménage a trois, that’s if they haven’t acted on the fantasy yet. I do know men who have admitted to acting out this fantasy with either one of their buddies or two women.


I have been told if this is a fantasy that you want or planning on fulfilling it shouldn’t be with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or truly care about because you may run the risk of having your fantasy back fire on you. I had a buddy tell me that he dated this woman who helped him live out this fantasy, she had sex with him and two other women, a couple of his boys on several occasions. When she found out that he was getting married she asked him why wasn’t he marrying her and he simply stated, “I can’t married you, you slept with my boys.” At this point, she could have been Michele Obama, Halle Berry or had everything going on for herself but because he knew she slept with his boys and he was a participant in the act he lost all respect for her.

Now on the flip side, if you do carry out this fantasy with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or really care about you may find yourself left out in the cold when it’s all said and done. You may hound your woman for months at a time or even years to help fulfill this fantasy of yours and then when she finally grants your wish she could get turned out by the third party, it could be male or female, and mess around and either leave or cheat on your ass with the very person you begged to bring into your bedroom. So, be careful for want you wish for because you just might get it and in the end you may be on the outside looking in.

I was told this is something that you want to do with a woman who is just your buddy and have no intentions on getting serious with or someone you’ll never see again, like someone that you and your buddy meet on vacation. I was told if a man ask you to do this then he really doesn’t have respect for you or isn’t trying to make you “wifey”. Men, is this true? What if your woman is hounding you to do a ménage a trois does this means she really doesn’t care about you, or is she just a freak?

I’m just saying?

C Double R

Read excerpts from Reactions:

http://www.amazon.com/Reactions-Every-Action-has-Reaction/dp/1463424507/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342471357&sr=1-1&keywords=reactions+by+c+double+r

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com