Crazy Azz Women: REAL TALK!!!*** A Blog by C Double R!

Courtesy sex

2012-02-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Recently I learned of something called “Courtesy Sex”, not to be mistaken for a Booty Call. Let me break it down so it can forever be broke. A Booty Call is when someone calls you (It can be a man or a woman making the call) either asking you to come over or asking to come over to have sex, but it is not considered a Booty Call if the call takes place before midnight.

Courtesy Sex is when a person (usually a man) has sex with someone out of pity. You may be asking, then why have sex if you really don’t want to have sex with the person? Well, the reason being is because they usually have a history with the person. I was out with a male buddy the other day and he explained it perfectly to me. He told me back in the day he used to date this petite pretty girl who had a banging body and he used to love to have sex with her. Recently he ran into her again. Unfortunately, one of her relatives passed away and she was in town for the funeral. He said the first moment she had him alone she asked when was he going to give her some? She told him she rehearsed this moment in her mind for almost twenty years. He said she damn near cornered him against the wall and started taking her clothes off. He said she was no longer the small petite woman he was attracted to, but he literally said, (his words not mine) she looked like a little bowling ball, round and short. So of course I asked, “Did you give her Courtesy Sex?” and of course he said yes, but he never told anyone because he still couldn’t believe that he did it.

I had several male friends tell me they had Courtesy Sex because they didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. Most of the men had a previous relationship or a sexual history with the women and that is why they had Courtesy Sex. I had one man tell me he had mutual Courtesy Sex with his ex. He stated that they knew it was over and they both agreed to have sex one last time before he moved out. I think that’s different because at least in this case both parties knew the situation. However, when you are the one giving the Courtesy Sex nine times out of ten you’re the only one who knows about the Courtesy Sex situation.

So my question is, why not just say no? Seriously, I rather have a man tell me that he’s just not attracted to me like that anymore, or shit, just straight out lie to not have sex with me because the last thing I want is some Courtesy Sex from a man who is not attracted to me anymore. It’s just not that deep for me.

I’m just saying…

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C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.crazyazzwomen.blogspot.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

The First Date Jitters- Do’s and Don’ts

2012-02-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

It really doesn’t matter if you are 21, 31, 51 we all have first date jitters. We all run through the gamete of emotions; excitement, nervousness, and ambiguity when it comes to the first date. Why, because no one really knows what to expect from a first date. It’s as if we become obsessed with the unknown, will we have anything in common, will we click, will he bore me, and how can I cut the date short if I don’t like him? These are all of the questions that run through our heads right before that first date.

Well here are a few things that you should and shouldn’t do on a first date. First, relax. Keep in mind that this is “only” a date, not a job interview. You do not have to bring your resume or three references with you on the date. Besides, something had to attract you to this person in the first place or you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation for a date, not unless it is a bind date, and even so, the same rules apply.

Try to have fun even if there isn’t a love connection. This is still a leisure activity that you planned, so make the best of it. The person may not be your soul mate but he or she could turn out to be a very good friend. Give it a chance. Don’t cut the person off right away if there isn’t an instant attraction to this person. Some of the best and longest marriages have derived from great friendships.

Go on the date with an open-mind. Do not go on the date with a negative attitude. Don’t look for reasons or make up reasons not to like this person without getting to know the person. Some of us can self-sabotage our own happiness because we are too afraid of being happy or worst, the unknown.

Try to plan an activity that you enjoy; biking, bowling, or dancing just in case the person is not what you expected, at least you can still enjoy the activity of the date. Remember, in some cases dating is like shopping, sometimes you have to keep looking until you find what you like and sometimes you won’t find it in the first store that you go into, but you still want your shopping experience to be a good one.

Now here are some of the “don’ts” on the first date. Never ever bring up previous relationships, especially ones that ended badly or ones that you are still not over yet. This will send a red flag to the other person and this is a sure way to get the other person running in the opposite direction fast! Try to stick to basic subjects and try your best not to bring up heated debatable subjects such as religion, previous relationships, or politics.

Don’t interrogate the person on the first date. Don’t throw a barrage of questions at the person all at once. Don’t ask about financial status, credit report, or if the person have a criminal record. Are these all important topics? Yes, but are they necessary questions to ask on the first date? No. Again, remember this is a first date not a police interrogation room and you are not a detective. You are here to get to know the person in general. These are questions to ask once there is a mutual interest and you both have decided that this is something that you want to pursue.

Don’t offer your family plans on the first date, this may scare the other person away. He or she may think that you are ready to get married tomorrow! Try to keep the conversation light, such as what kind of activities you like, movies, foods and things that make you smile. Try not to monopolize the conversation either. Ask the other person questions about them, don’t hog the spotlight.

If you follow these basic rules I guarantee you that you will have a decent date at the least. Remember you are on the date to get to know the person, but in very general terms, no need to over think it. Just go into it with an open mind and don’t put expectations on the other person or yourself. But most of all try to have fun!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2@gmail.com

Drama is not Just a Woman Thing!

2012-01-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how when two women either argue or fight over a man the man seldom tries to break it up? Not only does he not break it up, he usually sits back and enjoys the show with a big cheese grin on his face as to say, “Damn, I have two women fighting over me. I am the man!” Yes, some men, just like some women, love drama!

I was watching a movie the other day and when the woman thought her man was cheating on her she was ready to go over to the other woman’s house and give her the business until her man was able to calm her down and convinced her that he didn’t cheat with the other woman. However, when he told the story to his boys he said it with a big grin on his face and said he thought it was sexy that his woman was ready to beat up another woman because she thought he had slept with her. May I ask what the hell is sexy about that? Please keep in mind, these weren’t teenagers either, these were thirty plus grown folks.

Another thing some men love to gossip too? You think not, well think again. Some men like to keep the drama going not only in their relationships, but also within their friendships too. Some men like to talk badly about their boys and spread gossip and rumors just like some women like to do. Men hate on other men just like some women hate on other women. This is not a gender thing, but an insecure, immaturity thing.

Usually when people like drama it’s because they have issues within their own lives or with themselves and want to spread the misery around to others. Some people love drama the way others love their daily dose of coffee. It gives them the jolt they need to keep them going throughout the day. Some people are actually addicted to drama. Their motto is “if it’s drama free then it’s not for me!” If you are a person who knows someone like this or is in a relationship with someone like this the best advice I can give you is cut your ties and quick because as the saying goes misery loves company. And if you don’t or don’t want to then maybe I just described you!

I’m just saying.

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

It’s Never That Deep to Sneak and Peep!

2012-01-17T14:03:00.000-08:00

Do you have the sneaky suspicion that your mate may be cheating? Has he been acting different lately? Coming home late, not returning your calls in a timely manner? Have you been tempted to check his Facebook messages, phone or email? DON’T!

I know this is much easily said than done. But as the saying goes, "if you look for something, you just might find it.” The question then becomes, “Are you prepared to handle all of the possible outcomes?” If you can’t answer “yes” to this question, then you are not ready to go on your massive hunt to prove that your mate is cheating.

My advice is to talk to your mate directly. If you really know your mate you will know when he or she is lying to you. Almost every person have a tell-tell sign when they are not tell the truth. It could be shifty eyes, pacing, constantly rubbing their hands together, or even a twitch. Yes, it is true, almost everyone have a specific giveaway sign when they are lying, especially when they are lying to their loved one. So speak to your mate and pay close attention to their responses and actions. Remember, it’s not always in the verbal response, sometimes the truth is all in the physical response.

I highly don’t recommend snooping and going through their things. Because at the end of the day if you need to do that then you two don’t need to be together in the first place. If there is no trust then there is no real relationship!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com.

Also pick up her erotic thriller REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.com

Why Nice Guys Always Finish Last!

2012-01-12T08:53:00.001-08:00

Men are always asking, “Why do nice guys always finish last?” Well, here is the answer in a nutshell. A woman wants a man that has swagger and is versatile. She wants a man who can handle his business in the board room, the bedroom and the streets.

Women like a man who can provide financially, sexually and physically. She wants a smart man, but not a nerdy man. She wants a man who can give it to her good sexually, but not a dog. She wants a man who can handle his in the streets and not a punk.

The biggest thing that most women want is a man who is a challenge, not a “yes” man. A woman doesn’t want a man she can walk over, that is a huge turn off! If it’s no challenge then it’s not fun. Most women want a man who knows how to be authoritative and knows how to put his foot down when he needs to. But women also want a man who knows how to give in and knows how to make her feel special.

Unfortunately, most “nice” guys are one dimensional and cave in too easily and that gets old real fast! It’s fun to most women in the beginning when they have a “yes” man that is there to answer their every beck and call, but after awhile it is no longer fun and it becomes downright annoying.

So “nice” guys if you want to know how to get and keep your woman happy then get a backbone! Sorry, but this isn’t the time to go easy on you, this is the time to keep it real. You have to learn how to put your foot down and say “Damn it woman, because I said so!” sometimes. Learn to take charge, learn to be versatile and don’t cave in so easily. Because at the end of the day don’t no woman want a wimp!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When Your Mate Cheats: Should You Forgive, Get Even or Leave?

2012-01-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

This must be the million dollar question. What should you do if you discovered that your mate has cheated on you? Do you forgive? Get even? Or packed your stuff and hit the door? There is no one answer for this very complex question. It actually depends on the individual relationship.

First, let me clarify by saying I don’t condone, endorse or enforce cheating but we all have to understand that there is a reaction for every action. For example, if your mate has repeatedly told you that they feel neglected and you need to be more attentive and you choose not to do something about it then this could open up the possibilities of your mate cheating on you. Does this make his or her cheating justifiable? No, but the warning signs were there. But the cheating incident becomes an opportunity to sit your partner down and have a serious talk about your future together and see if the relationship is worth saving. Believe it or not, sometimes when cheating affects a relationship it can make the relationship bond stronger because both partners, especially the cheater, can come to realize what they have and almost lost.

One thing that is not prudent is returning the favor by going out to cheat just to get even. If you do, what does that say about you? If you cheat then you are just as guilty as your partner, if not more. Again, not condoning cheating, but if your partner warned you about your lack of attention to their needs and you refused to change at least he or she tried to talk to you before they turned to an inside person, you on the other hand, is doing it just to get even. Or is this something that deep down inside you've wanted to do and is now cashing in your free cheating chips because your partner cheated on you? This is never the answer because both of you will grow to resent each other which will make for a horrible future together.

Unfortunately, some relationships are plagued with habitual cheaters. No matter what you do to please your partner they will continue to go out and cheat, regardless of anything that you do! Some people aren’t meant to be in a monogamous relationship, period. It doesn’t necessarily mean he or she doesn’t love you, they may just have an insatiable desire to be with numerous people at the same time. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you find yourself in this type of relationship then it may be time for you to go solo. One thing I’ve learned, I said it before and I will continue to say it, never make someone a priority when you are just one of many options for them! Step you self worth game up and bounce!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at cdoubler2@gmail

Ride or Die Chick or Desperate Chick?

2012-01-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

I am the first to commend a Ride or Die Chick. For those of you who do not know what a Ride or Die Chick is then let me define this kind of woman for you. This is the woman that stands by her man, when others tell her to leave. This is the woman that is the Bonnie to her Clyde. This is the woman who would ride with her man whether he has two dollars or two million dollars. Hence, Ride or Die Chick. But the question becomes when does Ride or Die turns into Desperate Chick?

Every man wants a Ride or Die Chick by his side because he pretty much knows no matter what he does this woman is going to ride with him no matter what? The question is, does this make her a Ride or Die woman or a desperate woman?

Every woman (and man) should have a threshold when it comes to tolerating the intolerable, especially when it comes to their own happiness. It’s cool to stand by your mate side and try to work things out, but if this person is a habitual offender you may want to rethink the terminology of a Ride or Die Chick and start asking yourself have I turned into a Desperate Chick; a woman who is willing to accept and do anything to keep her man?

When you have to constantly beg your mate to marry you, (hence, Chrissy from Love and Hip Hop), or when you have to repeatedly hear rumors about your man sleeping with someone else (Emily from Love and Hip Hop) or have another woman tell you to your face that your man is probably in bed with another woman right now (Kimbella from Love and Hip Hop) you may want to start thinking about an exit plan from your “relationship” and start working on your self esteem.

I understand we all want love and some of us love so hard that we don’t realize when we cross the line to being desperate. Don’t make someone else a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs!

I’m Just Saying.

C Double R

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2.com

It Takes More Than a Big D&#k to Keep a Good Chick!I

2012-01-04T16:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was on Facebook the other day and one of my friends had a conversation about the power of a woman’s sex. Basically he stated that just because you have good sex doesn’t mean that a man wouldn’t leave you or cheat on you. Boy, did this start a conversation. So of course the ladies responded by saying just because you’re well-endowed and can lay pipe in the bedroom doesn’t mean that a woman won’t leave or cheat on you either???

Look, maybe back in the day if a woman got sprung out on good sex that was a license for a man to do as he pleases because he knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Now fast forward 20 years later, most women don’t tolerate that bull, some even flip the script on men these days. If she has a man that can lay good pipe, but that’s ALL he can do, trust, she will have others to make up for his deficiencies. She will have one that can wine and dine her, one that will take her on vacations, one that will fix things around the house, and one that can offer to pay her bills. Notice how I said “offer” to pay her bills. Most women today can pay their own bills and are quite self sufficient, therefore, she doesn’t need a man to pay her bills, but will kindly take donations.

Nowadays women categorize their men like they categorize their shoes. If she feels like being wine and dined then she will call her Louboutin Man. If she needs to have something fixed around the house she will call her Timberland Man. If she feels like getting freaky she will put on her Come Freak Me Pumps and call her Freakum Man. Some women are quick to categorize a man just like men categorize women! So men, don’t think that just because you are laying good pipe that your woman won’t step out on you or close the door completely, WAKE THE FREAK UP IT’S 2012!!

Forget the 90’s woman and start thinking about the new millennium woman!! Yes, we are no longer staying on the porch, we are stomping with the big dogs! We are doing it for ourselves and doing it big by ourselves! So don’t let the well-endowed equipment that you have fool you, because if that is the only thing you are offering please believe she has you categorized as the Freakum Man and will only call on you when she is ready to get freaky, until then she will keep her Come Freak Me Pumps nicely tucked away in her closet!

I’m just saying…

C Double R!!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com.

Also pick up her erotic thriller REACTIONS at http://www.cdoubler.com/ or AMAZON

Is Being Attractive a Blessing or a Curse?

2011-11-11T13:58:00.001-08:00

Is being attractive a double edge sword? On one hand having good looks can open many doors for opportunities. It could possibly get you free entry into events, clubs, free dinners, drinks, hired and even a promotion. But on the other hand it could create unwarranted enemies and perhaps a misconceive notion about you.

For attractive women, especially single women, being attractive can definitely be a good thing. Attractive women are very often wined and dined, taking on vacations, have personal handy men and are lavished with gifts. However, this could create tension and jealousy with other females, who we will say are not as attractive. They will often be shunned from other women who have boyfriends or husbands; they are hated on by other women and often referred to as “stuck up” by them. Perceived notions are developed very quickly when it comes to attractive women. They are often called spoiled, conceit and superficial even before they are able to reveal their true personality.

It’s a little different for men. I had men tell me they often use their most attractive male friend to reel in the women in the club, bar on while on vacation. Men actually use their most attractive male friend as bait to get women whereas women usually ostracize other attractive women for one of two reasons. One, because they feel inferior or because they are attractive too and don’t want to compete for attention from men.

So there you have it. Being attractive has both, pros and cons. However, if you are an attractive person don’t let other people thoughts and attitudes toward you make you become someone that you are not. If you got it going on then you got it going on and consider it a blessing!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Make sure you get a copy of my erotic suspense book REACTIONS by going to www.cdoubler.com or Amazon.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please contact me at www.cdoubler2.com

Just Because I’m Sexy Doesn’t Mean You Can Sex Me!!

2011-11-10T14:52:00.001-08:00

Just because I wear tight jeans that accentuate the roundness of my bottom, or a dress that compliment my curvy hips and thick thighs doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump in your bed. Just because I’m sexy doesn’t mean you can sex me!

I had a good friend of mine ask me to write about this topic. She wanted me to clear up the misconception of a sexy woman. Some men think just because a woman is sexy she is easy to sex. Now let’s examine the word sexy, shall we. There is a difference from being sexy and being trashy. A woman can be sexy in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. The jeans may be sexy because they hug her in all the right spots and the fitted tee shirt because it highlights her assets. She is being sexy without even trying and without exposing her skin. Trashy is when a woman is drawing attention to herself for all of the wrong reasons because she have damn near all of her orifices hanging out for the whole world to see. Ladies this is not sexy this is trashy.

As my homegirl Ms. Nikki said just because I am sexy doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you. I’m sexy and classy not sexy and trashy. I’m sexy dressed up or down. I own sexy where others have to lease it with an option to buy.

So guys learn to differentiate sexy classy from sexy trashy and once you recognize the difference make sure your game is tight if you want to be with Ms. Right. If your game is weak then you may end up with the freak of the week!

I’m just saying

C Double R!

Make sure you pick up her new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Time For Fall Cleaning- Choice, Chance, Change

2011-10-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

Now that summer has changed to fall is it also time to make changes in our personal relationships? I love watching the season change from summer to fall, the changing of the leaves on the trees, the cool brisk mornings and the cool night air. It’s as if nature is going through a cleanse, it’s regenerating and preparing itself for a fresh start by getting rid of all the pollution and stale air from the summer’s heat. Is this also a good time to regenerate our personal relationships?

If you have someone or people in your life that are holding you down and are non-supportive maybe it’s time to clean your personal “house of friends”. I truly believe if someone is not adding something to your life then they are definitely taking away from it. It’s up to you to decide if that “friendship” is an asset or a liability.

I believe we meet people for a reason, season or a lifetime. If you met someone who brought sadness into your life but it was a lesson learned, then that means that person was put in your life for a reason. If you met someone that you enjoyed for a short period of time but didn’t bring a significant change in your life then this person was brought into your life for a season, not for a specific reason. Then you have that person you met that no matter what happens in your life; good, bad or indifferent he or she is a constant figure, which means that person was not brought into your life for a season or a reason, but for a lifetime.

One thing I have learned in life is that you must make a choice to take a chance if you want anything in life to change, because at the end of the day, only a fool will continuously do the same thing and expect a different outcome.

I’m just saying

C Double R

Also make sure you pick up her new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Menage a Trois - Is it Worth the Risk?

2011-10-13T19:30:00.001-07:00

This is the ubiquitous fantasy of almost every man. Men have been fantasizing about this fantasy since the beginning of time and from the start of their puberty. Every time I ask a man what is his biggest sexual fantasy the first thing that comes out of his mouth is a ménage a trois, that’s if they haven’t acted on the fantasy yet. I do know men who have admitted to acting out this fantasy with either one of their buddies or two women.

I have been told if this is a fantasy that you want or planning on fulfilling it shouldn’t be with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or truly care about because you may run the risk of having your fantasy back fire on you. I had a buddy tell me that he dated this woman who helped him live out this fantasy, she had sex with him and two other women, a couple of his boys on several occasions. When she found out that he was getting married she asked him why wasn’t he marrying her and he simply stated, “I can’t married you, you slept with my boys.” At this point, she could have been Michele Obama, Halle Berry or had everything going on for herself but because he knew she slept with his boys and he was a participant in the act he lost all respect for her.

Now on the flip side, if you do carry out this fantasy with someone that you are in a serious relationship with or really care about you may find yourself left out in the cold when it’s all said and done. You may hound your woman for months at a time or even years to help fulfill this fantasy of yours and then when she finally grants your wish she could get turned out by the third party, it could be male or female and mess around either leaving or cheating on your ass with the very person you begged to bring into your bedroom. So, be careful for want you wish for because you just might get it and in the end you may be on the outside looking in.

I was told this is something that you want to do with a woman who is just your buddy and have no intentions on getting serious with or someone you’ll never see again, like someone that you and your buddy meet on vacation. I was told if a man ask you to do this then he really doesn’t have respect for you or isn’t trying to make you “wifey”. Men, is this true? What if your woman is hounding you to do a ménage a trois does this means she really doesn’t care about you, or is she just a freak?

I’m just saying?

C Double R!

Set a Date with Your Mate

2011-09-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we get so comfortable in our relationships that everything becomes routine and we forget to date our mate. The minute we stop dating our mate is the minute we start losing interest in our relationship. So to avoid this problem, make a date with your mate.

A good way to keep your relationship fresh is to have an affair with your mate. Yes, I said have an affair with your mate! If your name is Lisa change your name to Sasha when you call to flirt with your mate. Schedule a date with him and don’t arrive together. Meet him at the movies, restaurant or wherever you planned to meet. When you see your man waiting for you, walk up to him and introduce yourself as Sasha with the sexiest smile you can muster up. The key is to be someone you’re usually are not around your mate. If you usually wear button up shirts to your neck, unbutton a few buttons, or if you usually wear long skirts, throw on a sexy mini skirt. If you usually don’t wear make-up or wear your hair down put on that shiny lip gloss and let your hair down, after all it’s all in fun and it’s a great form of foreplay.

How does that saying go, “If you want to keep me then you have to continue to do the things you did to get me”. People, I have to tell you, this is more than just a phrase, it’s a fact. This goes for both men and women. If you cooked for your man 5 days a week but now you only cook once a week, that’s a problem. If you use to buy your woman flowers once a week and now she only get them once a year, that’s a problem. If you all use to have passionate sex at least three times a week and now it’s once a month, this is DEFINITELY a problem!

I understand that life can sometimes get in the way, but anything worth having usually requires a little work on your part. If you appreciate your mate then show him or her. Make a commitment to date each other and make a promise to never stop dating each other. If you never stop dating each other then you will always have excitement in your relationship.

I’m Just Saying

C Double R!

Make sure you pick up my new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Are You in a “Relationship” or a “Situation”?

2011-09-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Some people have the tendency to confuse these two words and in their defense they truly may not know the difference, so it is my job to help them understand the difference.

You are in a relationship when both parties mutually agree that they are in a relationship and not just one person “thinking” they’re in a relationship when it hasn’t been discussed with the other person. Just because you pack an overnight bag and stay at the other person’s house, doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship. Or just because you have a toothbrush at the other person’s house doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship with this person. If it hasn’t been openly discussed then don’t assume that you are in a relationship, because we all know what happens when people assume.

You may be in a “situation” if you are doing the aforementioned things and you never discussed your status with the other person. Ladies, and men too, don’t be too quick to change your relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” if you haven’t discussed it with the other person who is in this “alleged” relationship because you may be in for a rude awakening.

Now on the other hand, if it has been discussed by both partners and it’s mutually agreed that you all are in a “situation” and not a “relationship” and you are satisfied with that status then that is fine too. But if you are unsure of your current status them maybe it’s time you have that relationship discussion with the other person so you know exactly where you stand with that person, instead of assuming.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Make sure you pick up my new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS now available at www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Don’t Carry Someone Else’s Baggage!

2011-09-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

I attended a very interesting women’s empowerment luncheon the other day and the speaker made a statement that resonated with me. To quote her she said, “Don’t carry someone’s baggage”. Just to put this in context she was referencing the business world, but I immediately thought this could be applied to personal relationships too.

The question that lead to this response was “How do you prepare yourself for a meeting with a manager that you know have preconceive notions about you or someone like you, whether it’s because of your age, gender, race, sexual preference, etc?” You don’t, you don’t allow their preconceive notions change the true you and your agenda, in essence don’t carry their baggage.

This train of thought can be easily applied to our personal relationships. Sometimes we try to change who we are to gain another person’s trust or love because they have preconceive notions about us. If someone loves you then they will love you for you, period. You should never change the true you just because someone can’t handle or respect what you represent. Because if that’s the case then they don’t deserve you in the first place!

Some men have certain ideas about certain women; independent woman, overweight women, soft spoken women, provocatively dress women, and the list goes on. This doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to their opinions, but they do need to acknowledge facts and let the woman’s actions speak for themselves before they decide to place her in a general box.

Bottom line is this, you can’t always make someone change the way they think, but you can definitely educated them on the true you! Never carry someone’s baggage because it will only chip away at your true authenticity!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com.

Also pick up her erotic thriller REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com

LEARN TO KEEP YOUR STUFF TO YOURSELF!!!

2011-09-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

Ladies this is a very important topic. I know how it is when you first meet a guy who you think is fione as all get out and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see his name come up on your caller id or when you see his car pull up in front of your house. The first thing you say to yourself is “he can get it!” Well ladies I am here to tell you, pump the brakes!

I have learned through experience and from conversations with other women when you learn the value of keeping your stuff to yourself it’s priceless. A man will do all he can to get you in the bed if he is really feeling you physically. He will wine and dine you, take you shopping, fix things around your house, take you on trips, basically anything when he is in pursuit of the booty.

A smart woman knows the power of the “Untapped Wanted Booty” and she will use it to her advantage. Now this is not to say she is not feeling the dude but she knows the value of her body and she will not just give it to the first dude that is interested and is willing to do anything to get it. However, this doesn’t mean she won’t use it to her advantage either. However, in the interim a smart woman will also find out if dude is just interested in her booty or her being. An intelligent woman knows what the deal is. However, a smart and conniving woman will play this game for as long as she can or until dude realizes that he is just being played. So fellas just some words of advice “Game recognizes game” so make sure yours is tight.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

PICK UP A COPY OF MY EROTIC SUSPENSE NOVEL REACTIONS AT http://www.cdoubler.com/
If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Men Are Territorial Creatures Who Like to Roam Outside Their Territory!

2011-08-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

This article is dedicated to someone I know. You know who you are.

We all know that men are territorial creatures, but most men like to roam quite frequently outside their territory. However, they like to keep their possessions (women) well within their parameter. When I say possessions I am referring to their mate, love one, wife, fiancée, girlfriend, woman, better half, however one would like to define a man’s significant other.

I read the other day that Sean “Puffy” Combs threaten to kill one of Kim Porter’s male friends if he didn’t stay away from her. Now let’s break this down, shall we. Puffy is known for his philandering ways and for not marrying Kim Porter, even though she is the mother of 3 of his children. She has repeatedly stood by this man’s side while he has had relationships with Jennifer Lopez and Cassidy, just to name a few. So who is to blame for his behavior, Kim or him?

It is known that he pays Kim very handsomely for the children and also gives her extra loot to keep her as a “kept woman”, with one stipulation, she can’t fool around. Apparently she condones this behavior because she has been in the background for years and it looks like she will always be around, never as the leading lady, but always as a supporting cast member.

I guess when it comes to money one may never really know how they might respond to certain demands placed upon them. But I have to ask the question, “What about self pride and getting a damn backbone?” What example is Kim setting for her children, especially her two beautiful daughters when she allows herself to be used as a doormat?

Women, I said it before and I will say it again, KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH! Because if you don’t acknowledge it, embrace it, and enforce it, then no one else will. Always remember you have the power and no one can ever take it away from you unless you give it away!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.cdoubler.com. Also make sure you pick up her new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS available in July .

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Do Social Media Networks Cause Problems or Uncover Them in Relationships?

2011-08-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

“Facebook ruined my relationship, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on Twitter, I hate social media networks because they create relationship problems!” These are some of the things I am sure all of us have heard from someone who uses social media networking sites. But the question is, “Do Social media networks cause problems or uncover them in relationships?”

I have to go with the latter. I believe they uncover existing problems in relationships. I don’t think social media networks change people actions they just make them more pronounce. What was once done in the dark will be revealed in the light, and social media networks my friends is the “light”.

Social media networks are not the only “frenemy” to cheating mates, but so are cell phones. With cameras, videos and everything else that is attached to cell phones today could make a recipe for a disastrous outcome for cheating mates. It’s your friend when you want to communicate with your mistress, but it’s your enemy when your mate discovers your communications with your mistress via the social networks or cell phone. This goes for women too, not just cheating men.

So, again in my opinion, I think social media networks bring the dirt to the forefront and make it harder for the “cheaters” to hide their cheating ways. Also, for you cheaters, if you don’t want to be put on blast I suggest you don’t have your mistress as a friend on your social media network page and for pete sakes please do not take compromising photos that can eventually end up on social media networks or delivered to your mate’s cell phone!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

How To Tell If She or He is Just Not Into You!

2011-08-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ladies, men too, do you only get a phone call when your mate is feeling frisky and needs to release some tension? Or always have an emergency and they need you to come get them, loan them some money or take them somewhere, but don’t need you to stay? If you answered yes to more than one of these scenarios consider yourself as being used!

Do you find that you are the one that is always giving and not receiving ( sexually, emotionally, physically, and monetary)? The only one who goes out their way to do something nice for your mate? Or the only one that is fulfilling your partner’s needs and it is not reciprocated? Again, consider yourself as being used!

Does he or she always seem to make up excuses as to why they can’t do anything for you, such as they can’t come get you because their car is down, they can’t help you out financially because they don’t get paid until Friday or they have child support money due, or come up with an excuse to break a date because it’s their turn to pay? Need I say it again, consider yourself as being used!

If they are always coming up with excuses for you to give them money, or you all have a joint bank account and you are the only one putting money in it and they are always taking money out of it, close that damn account immediately! Take charge of your life and stop trying to buy love.

I said it before and I will say it again, read the signs people. A relationship is all about reciprocity. If you find yourself always the one giving and never receiving then it’s not a relationship it’s a charity and guess who is making all of the donations? You!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions

please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com and vist www.cdoubler.com to purchase her erotic suspende novel REACTIONS

Loved Up, But Not Wifed Up!

2011-08-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?

The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

Make sure you check out my new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS at www.cdoubler.com

C Double R!

REACTIONS Is Finally Here!

2011-07-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

If you love erotic suspense novels then this is the book for you!

I am excited to announce my erotic suspense novel REACTIONS is now available. This is a book that deals with relationships, abnormal sexual behaviors and broken marriages. The book really breaks down the reason why every action has a reaction!

The characters of the book are based out of the Philadelphia area. The three main characters are Shameka Nicole Williams, Tracy Marie Jackson and Christopher Jamal Johnson.

Shameka Nicole Williams- a savvy, sexy businesswoman who secretly loves having sex with strange men in strange places and has no interest in settling down. When she starts having the same reoccurring nightmare she seeks professional help. What Shameka learns will change her life forever.

Tracy Marie Jackson- Shameka’s best friend since kindergarten and the sweet girl next door. She’s married to her successful college sweetheart, Eric Jackson, runs a non-profit organization, lives in a million dollar condo in downtown Philly, Tracy has the perfect life or so it seems. The only thing that’s missing is a child. Just when things are going as planned tragedy strikes that rocks Tracy’s whole world.

Christopher Jamal Johnson- the retired NBA player turned ESPN sportscaster. He’s married to his college sweetheart, Tina Johnson, has two beautiful children and is trying his hardest to leave his past behind, but this is proving to be the toughest challenge he has ever faced in his entire life. Can Chris gain the courage to put his philandering ways aside and become the faithful husband his wife always desired or will someone from his past prevent him from doing so?

REACTIONS has been getting great reviews. Here is what some of the readers had to say:

“C Double R is definitely the new Zane on the block! REACTIONS is a sexy well written novel that captures your attention from the first page to the last” – Sandi Burgis, author of Feelings Flow

“I read this book in one night! It kept my interest from the beginning to the end! I can’t wait for REACTIONS II next year!” – Lisa W. from Los Angeles, CA.

See for yourself. Get your copy now! Go to www.cdoubler.com . If you’re in the Philadelphia area please come join me at my book release party at 7165 Germantown Avenue Lounge, 7165 Germantown Ave, Phila., Pa. 19119 on Sunday August 7, 2011 from 6pm to 10pm. If you have any questions please contact me at cdoubler2@gmail.com.

Hope to see you there!

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

C Double R’s Could Have Been Worst Theory

2011-07-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

A lot of people always focus on the worst when it comes to unfortunate situations instead of counting their blessing, especially when it comes to relationships. Let me explain C Double R’s Could Have Been Worst Theory.

The Could Have Been Worst Theory is when you take a bad situation that you have experienced and compare it to a much worst situation, then count your blessings and keep it moving. For example, you may feel embarrassed and hurt if you found out that your mate/spouse was cheating on you. However, if you compare your situation to a person who found out that their mate/spouse was cheating on them and produced three children that you didn’t know about with this person you should count your blessings it’s not you and keep it moving!

Another scenario is if you found out that your mate/spouse blew all of the bill money on gambling and now you’re facing foreclosure. Compare your situation to a person who’s mate/spouse blew all of the bill money on gambling and drinking and take it out on you by physically abusing you. Count your blessings it’s not you and keep it moving!

I think some people are so focused on the negative in certain situations that they never see that it could have been worst. I think if we started to train our minds to adopt the Could Have Been Worst Theory a lot of people would be better off and could recover quicker from a bad situation, especially when it comes to our relationships.

Besides what don’t kills us only makes us stronger so when you find yourself in a bad situation just remember “it could have been worst”.

I’m just saying.

C Double R

To buy C Double R’s highly anticipated novel REACTIONS go to www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com.

Looking for Mr. Fix It Chick

2011-07-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Fellas, have you ever met that woman that is always utilizing you for your skills? Asking you can you come over, my toilet won’t flush? Can you take a look at my electric, my lights keep flickering? Can you check my brakes, they keep making a funny noise? Can you redo my kitchen floor, its warped? And in return she fixes you dinner, give you some nookie and keep your number on speed dial!

This is the woman who will not date a man if she doesn’t think he can benefit her in some way? He has to be handy like an electrician, plumber, mechanic, or a carpenter, shoot even a barber if she have sons! If he aint useful then he aint worthy. This kind of woman scopes out men that can help her in some shape, form or fashion. She looks at it as a barter. You do something for me and I will do something for you. You fix my sink, I’ll give you some food and drink. You fix my brakes I’ll kiss the snake. If you fix my floor I’ll show you the entrance to my bedroom door.

See Fellas, she doesn’t see anything wrong with this. Besides, you’re getting what you want and she is getting what she wants. Therefore, the both of you are getting satisfied. I’m just saying, recognize the game. Don’t think just because she constantly invites you over that she is really into you. Now ask yourself this question, “Every time you go to her house does she ask you to fix or look at something, while the fried chicken is cooking on the stove and mac and cheese is baking in the oven? Or if nothing is cooking does she come to the door in a skimpy outfit or better yet a towel wrapped around her saying she just stepped out the shower then asked you to look at something that is broke? Men this is part of the mental seduction so she can get what she really wants, which is her damn stove fixed!! Dummy!!

And you’re the same man who is going around bragging saying she is feeling you, because every time you go over to her house she got food ready for you or something sexy on. All the while not mentioning what you have to do to get that damn food and her! Some men are so easily distracted when it comes to a sexy woman and a tasty plate of food. Men, when will you learn to read between the lines? Now, if you do read between the lines and you’re cool with that, then so be it. But please don’t think just because a woman is doing all of this for you and to you that she is really into you! Remember women are some of the most conniving creatures walking the planet and we definitely know how to get what we want without you ever realizing it.

I’m just saying….

C DOUBLE R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Confident or Thirsty?

2011-07-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Nothing is funnier than seeing a good looking man acting thirsty. What’s funnier is when he doesn’t even know that he is acting thirsty. It’s one thing to have confidence but when does confidence turns into thirstiness?

Women love a confident man, a man who knows how to approach a woman and who is tight with his game, but when he becomes overly aggressive things can go to the left, quickly. When he starts to oversell himself and repeatedly tells you all of the things he can do to you and how he’s going to do it and how you’re not going to get enough of him. Really? This is when he gets put in the thirsty category.

Men, no woman wants to hear what you can do for her, to her or with her, she just want you to be like Nike and Just Do It! When you continuously try to sell yourself to a woman it becomes a turn off real quick and no matter how attracted she is to you this will definitely turn her off. So fall back and let nature take its course. If a woman is feeling you, trust me, you will know because she will let you know by her actions. She will also let you know if she is not feeling you when she stop returning your calls and starts making excuses to not go out with you. If and when it comes to this point, this means she is not interested and if she was at one point, she is no longer interested and it is probably because of your thirstiness.

It’s good to be confident in yourself and your skills, just don’t become thirsty with your approach because trust me, a woman will definitely leave you high and dry and will not give you anything to quench your thirst.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

To pick up C Double R’s latest highly anticipated erotic suspense novel REACTIONS go to www.cdoubler.com
If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

Leave a comment at cdoubler2@gmail.com

You Can't Force a Man to Change. PERIOD!

2011-07-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

Today’s topic is all about change! Ladies, have you ever met that man and all you can say is “ Damn, he would be a good man only if..?” If he wasn’t such a womanizer, more caring, more giving, not so uptight, etc. One thing I’ve learned is that people will change because of one or two reasons; when there are ready to change or when they are forced to change. Example, if a man gets tired of sleeping with different women every night and having meaningless sex then he will eventually change his habits. If a man loses something that he really, truly cares about but doesn’t realizes it until after the fact, then he is forced to change, that’s if he doesn’t want the same results. Because only a fool continues to do the same thing and expect a different result!

Sometimes we have to let people learn and grow on their own and from their own mistakes and stop trying to force people to change. The bottom line is; if they don’t change for themselves then it’s just a temporary fix to a lifetime problem. Now, if a man truly wants to change then he will change when he is ready to change, not because someone else wants him to change.

Unfortunately, most people, especially men, don’t change until something detrimental in their life happens that forces them to change. If you have a man who is constantly throwing shade to those who he thinks is not on his level because they don’t roll like he roll, with the fancy car, big house, flashy clothes and the women, when he loses his job or doe and can no longer afford those fancy cars, clothes and women, he will think twice before he throw shade again. This kind of thing can change a man’s perception on life. Or, if you have a man who takes his wife for granted until she finally leaves him, that will make him think twice about what’s important to him and what is a priority to him in life.

Bottom line is, you can’t make or force a person to change. A person has to change on their own and at their own pace. So you should either accept or reject that person as is, if you don’t have the patience to wait for them to change on their own. One thing for sure, two things for certain, if he really cares about you he will change own his own to keep you or he will be forced to change after you leave his ass because you had enough of his crap!!

I'm just saying.

C Double R

Is Your Friendship Value a Bentley or a Kia?

2011-07-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

I was on Facebook and one of my friends had this posting on her page “Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bentley don't have commercials? REASON: They know the value of their product brings customers to them. LESSON: When you know your value, you don't have to beg people to like you, to be your mate, to spend time with you or to love you. Be confident in who GOD made you to be. Everyone can't afford the LUXURY of your friendship.” This resonated with me so much I had to write an article about it, so big ups to Roxy Tee for the post.

This is such a true statement. When you are a good hearted person people will automatically gravity to you, you don’t have to advertise and solicit your friendship. I truly believe you get back what you put out in this world. A lot of people love Bentleys but very few will ever own one because most can’t afford it, just like your friendship, many may want it but is everyone worthy of it and can they afford it? In essence, watch the company you keep and the people you allow into your space, even the ones who are perceived as being able to afford it because they may abuse it.

It is up to you to discover, embrace and protect your self-worth. Many may want to be your friend, mate or confidant, but are they worthy of your crème de la crème friendship? This is a question that only you can answer. Just remember, when a new car is driven off the lot, even a Bentley, it starts to depreciate. It’s up to you to determine who the owner will be. Will it be someone that appreciates you, detail you and keep you garage parked or will it be someone who will neglect you, be careless and crash you or even lose you because they couldn’t afford you from the beginning.

If you know your friendship is the crème de la crème, just like a Bentley, then be selective about who you let sit in the driver’s seat. If you don’t know and don’t appreciate your self- worth then you open yourself up to the general public and anyone can set in the driver’s seat.

Always remember your self-worth even when others seem to forget or even ignorant to it!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments, topic suggestions

or purchase her new book REACTIONS please visit her at www.cdoubler.com

Celibacy – Can It Hurt or Help a New Relationship?

2011-07-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

I had a very interesting conversation with a male friend. I asked him what does he think when he meets a woman who tells him that she is celibate? His first response was that no man wants to date a woman who is celibate, especially an older man (30 something plus). So naturally I asked him why? He compared the scenario to the NBA. He said if his goal is to get to the championship by practicing but if the coach tells him from the gate that the team is not going to the championship then why the purpose of practicing? I actually understand and respected this argument, but does it make it right?

I personally think if a man meets a woman who is celibate then he should respect her even more because obviously she respects her body even to not give it away to every Tom, Dick and Harry. However, according to my friend a man sees this as too much work and most men will just walk away from the challenge, especially when it is readily available from someone else.

So can celibacy hurt or help a new relationship? I guess it all depends on who you ask. Some men are willing to put in the work if they really feel like the woman is worth the wait, while other men may see it as too much of a challenge and walk away as soon as the woman let it been known that she is celibate. Ladies, if a man does this then to me it seems like he was only in it for the sex anyway and he did you a favor by walking away.

Ladies, always stay true to yourself and your goals. Some women have more respect for their homes, cars and worldly possessions than they do for their own bodies, especially when it comes to sex. Ladies, realize that your body is a temple and every man that you met is not worth of your goods. Get to know a man before you sleep with a man. Find out his intentions before your give him your full body attention. Because what you may think is a prince in shining armor could be a lion in sheep’s clothing waiting to take your goods and run.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

To pick up her new highly anticipated new book REACTIONS please go to www.cdoubler.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Do You Want a Glamorous Ceremony or a Lasting Marriage?

2011-06-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

This is a great question to ask yourself if you’re getting ready to head down the aisle. Sometimes as women we get so caught up in the ceremony we really don’t think about the marriage. Most women have been envisioning their wedding day ever since they were little girls. They fantasize about the dress, flowers, cake, venue and oh yeah maybe the actual marriage.

It is very easy to get caught up in the planning of your fairy tale wedding, but it would be very wise to ask yourself do you want a ceremony or a husband for life? If you hesitate to answer this question then maybe you should pump the brakes on the fairytale wedding planning before you end up in a disastrous marriage. Unfortunately, there are a lot of brides to be out there who already know their future marriage isn’t going to last but they go through with the marriage plans any way, not for the husband, but for the glitz and glamour of the ceremony.

Also, for the men don’t feel pressured into getting married, just because you think it is the right thing to do or because it is expected. It could be the worst thing to do, especially if you are not ready to get married. Don’t become a victim of the ceremony planning.

Both future grooms and brides should ask themselves is the six hours of glitz and glamour worth a lifetime of misery?

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and you’re in the Philadelphia please go to: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.cdoubler.com. Also make sure you pick up her new erotic suspense novel REACTIONS available in July!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Act Like A Lady But Be A Freak in the Bedroom!

2011-06-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

We all heard of the saying you can’t make a freak into a wife, but you can definitely make a wife into a freak. Let’s keep it real people, men love an uninhibited woman in the bedroom. Most women don’t realize their sexuality until their mid to late thirties or early forties, in some cases, never!

The sex novelist Zane said she realized she was a sexual person at a very early age in life, that’s very rare, especially for a woman. She said she embraced her sexuality very young and always enjoyed sex. Growing up most women are told to act like a lady, ladies don’t do that, let him take control when it comes to sex. So when a woman wants to get “buckwild” in the bedroom most of the time she doesn’t because she is constantly thinking about all of the things that she was told as a young woman.

I believe the older a woman becomes the more in tune she is with her body and because of that she is more uninhibited in the bedroom when it comes to sex. She knows how to please her man and is not afraid of showing it.

A mature woman knows and accepts that she has sexual desires, just like a man and it isn’t unlady like to express those desires when it comes to your man, it may even help you keep your man! A man loves a woman who embraces her sexuality and doesn’t hold back in the bedroom. Men love when their women take control in the bedroom and ladies if you only knew the power you had in the bedroom, you would embrace your sexuality with the quickness!

So ladies, I demand you to embrace your sexuality and show your man what you’re working with. Live out your fantasies, you’re wildest dreams and turn your man out!! Because if you don’t step up your game in the bedroom he might find another player to substitute you!

I’m just saying!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

Keeping The Sexy At Home

2011-05-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

I had a very interesting conversation this weekend with a young man from Nigeria, Africa. He seemed like a very intelligent, nice young man, so me, always being the matchmaker told him he would be perfect for my niece once he found out I was almost old enough to be his mother. He started telling me about the traditions of his country. He said the divorce rate is very low in Nigeria. It is 20% as opposed to 50% like in the United States. He also said that most men wait until marriage to start a family, it is very rare to see a single parent mother, and if so, in most cases it is because she’s a widow. But what really struck my interest is when he made the statement that most women in Nigeria overlook the bad and focus on the good when it comes to their husband. I interpreted that as most women turn the other cheek when it comes to infidelity in their marriage. My new friend said divorce is only an option when all other possibilities have been exhausted, however, even if they are exhausted most Nigerians stay married.

When I asked him about cheating he brought up a very interesting point. He said if he happened to see a woman in the street with a sexy outfit on he wouldn’t try to sleep with her but instead he would try to find that outfit for his wife so she could look sexy in it and sleep with her. He stated why would I look outside my house to find something that I already have at home? I must say I was really impressed with this young man’s logic. I thought to myself if most men took that approach when it came to marriage and cheating there probably would be a drastic decline in the divorce rate in the world, not just in the United States.

Men please take notes from this young man, try keeping the sexy at home. Instead of looking for something that you already have at home why not try keeping the sexy in your home and between you and your wife! Try it you might like it!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

Loved Up! But Not Wifed up!

2011-05-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

Just Because I’m Sexy Doesn’t Mean You Can Sex Me!!

2011-05-13T17:47:00.000-07:00

Learn The Value of Keeping Your Stuff to Yourself!

2011-05-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

Ladies this is a very important topic. I know how it is when you first meet a guy who you think is fione as all get out and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see his name come up on your caller id or when you see his car pull up in front of your house. The first thing you say to yourself is “he can get it!” Well ladies I am here to tell you, pump the brakes!

I have learned through experience and from conversations with other women when you learn the value of keeping your stuff to yourself it’s priceless. A man will do all he can to get you in the bed if he is really feeling you physically. He will wine and dine you, take you shopping, fix things around your house, take you on trips, basically anything when he is in pursuit of the booty.

A smart woman knows the power of the “Untapped Wanted Booty” and she will use it to her advantage. Now this is not to say she is not feeling the dude but she knows the value of her body and she will not just give it to the first dude that is interested and is willing to do anything to get it. However, this doesn’t mean she won’t use it to her advantage either. However, in the interim a smart woman will also find out if dude is just interested in her booty or her being. An intelligent woman knows what the deal is. However, a smart and conniving woman will play this game for as long as she can or until dude realizes that he is just being played. So fellas just some words of advice “Game recognizes game” so make sure yours is tight.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

By Request Another Shameka Nicole Williams Excerpt From The Forthcoming Novel "Reactions"- Coming Summer 2011

2011-05-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

Shameka Nicole Williams

Shameka was feeling great. Tonight was just what she needed, she had been stressed out due to lack of sleep, every time she closed her eyes she kept having that same nightmarish dream that she just couldn’t shake. She seriously was thinking about seeing someone who could help her decipher these dreams and help her sleep better at night.

After reapplying her lip gloss and checking her hair in the mirror Shameka was ready to get back to Ricardo and that delicious bread pudding that kept calling her name. Shameka was so focused on getting back to Ricardo and the dessert she didn’t realized where she was walking and bumped directly into a man coming out of the men’s room.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” she said as she tried not to act embarrassed, even though she was very embarrassed for being so careless.

“No problem, it happens” the man said as he fixed his tie.

As he caught Shameka’s eye he realized that he knew her from somewhere, but couldn’t remember where.

“I know this sounds like a line, but don’t I know you from somewhere?” the man said as he tried to remember where he knew Shameka from.

“I’m sorry I don’t think so” Shameka said as she tried to remember whether or not she actually knew this man from somewhere, but couldn’t come up with anything.

The man’s eyes lit up when he finally remembered where he knew Shameka from.

“Now I remember! You are the one who blew me off in the restaurant bathroom in New York when I was there with my pregnant wife and kids” the man said with a dirty smile on his face as if he was replaying the whole episode in his mind

“Say uh, what are you doing later tonight? I’m in town for a couple of days and we could always pick up where we left off” the man said as Shameka could see his dick hardening as he tried to hand her his business card.

“Listen here, you little fuck. I don’t know who you think I am but you definitely got the wrong one, so I suggest you back off and get the fuck out of my way” Shameka said as she smacked the card away and started to walk back to her table.

“Oh no, there is no mistake. It was definitely you.”

That stopped Shameka in her tracks.

“Who could forget those sexy ass lips, especially when they were wrapped around my cock? And that ass, unforgettable! But hey, we all have our secrets, don’t we?” the man said as he brushed pass Shameka while grazing her ass in the process.

Shameka just stood there in disbelief. She knew the day would come when her dirty deeds would catch up to her. She did remember him, she remembered all of him.

REACTIONS COMING THIS SUMMER 2011

If Titles Were Meant To Be Then They Will Happen Naturally

2011-05-01T15:40:00.000-07:00

This is just some quick advice for those people who must have titles when they are dating someone. If you meet someone and you two are vibing and things are going well don’t stress about titles. As soon as the “title” conversation happens it could change the dynamics of the situation. My advice is just go with the flow because if titles were meant to be then they will happen naturally. If and when you are in tune with someone you will know when you two are in a “relationship” without having to bring up the “title” conversation.

This conversation can make some people uncomfortable especially when they are not ready to have this conversation. If this is the case it may actually push that person away from you and mess up the whole flow of the relationship. So again, just fall back, relax and live in the moment, if it was meant to be then it will be. Enjoy the time that you spend with this person and don’t rush the “title” conversation because it may cause you to mess up a good thing that could have been a great thing!

I’m just saying

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Being Big Doesn’t Guarantee the Gig!

2011-04-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

I was on Facebook the other day and one of my friends had a conversation about the power of sex. Basically he stated just because you know how to please your man in bed doesn’t mean he won’t leave you or cheat on you. Boy, did this start a conversation. So of course the ladies responded by saying just because you’re well-endowed and can lay pipe in the bedroom doesn’t mean that a woman won’t leave or cheat on you either???

Look, maybe back in the day if a woman got sprung out on good sex that was a license for the man to do as he pleases because he knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Now fast forward 20 years later, most women don’t tolerate that istuff some even flip the script on men these days. If she has a man that can lay good pipe, but that’s ALL he can do, trust, she will have others to make up for his deficiencies. She will have one that can wine and dine her, one that will take her on vacations, one that will fix things around the house, and one that can offer to pay her bills. Notice how I said “offer” to pay her bills. Most sistas today can pay their own bills and are quite self sufficient, therefore, she doesn’t need a man to pay her bills, but will take donations, feel me?

Nowadays women categorize their men like they categorize their shoes. If she feels like being wine and dined then she will call her Manolo Man. If she needs to have something fixed around the house she will call her Timberland Man. If she feels like getting freaky she will call her Come Get Me Pumps Man. Women are quick to categorize a man just like men categorize women. So men, don’t think that just because you are laying good pipe that your woman won’t step out on you or close the door completely, WAKE THE FREAK UP!!

Forget the 90’s woman and start thinking about the new millennium woman!! Yes, we are no longer staying on the porch, we are stomping with the big dogs! We are doing it for ourselves and doing it big by ourselves! So don’t let the big dick fool you, because if that is the only thing you are offering best believe she has you categorized as the Come Get Me Pumps Man and will only call on you when she is ready to get freaky, but your ass will stay in that size 9 shoebox until then!

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

Here's Another Excerpt From My Book Reactions- Coming This Summer!!

2011-04-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

Christopher Jamal Johnson

Chris had been home for a couple of days now and he was still getting re-acclimated to the time difference. He was chilling in the pool relaxing when Tina came back home from the mall. Chris Jr. was hanging out with his buddy Gerald, Brianna was sleeping over at her girlfriend Sabrina’s house, so Chris had the entire night to be alone with his beautiful wife.

“Hey babe, want some company” Tina asked as she walked out to the patio.

“Mmm, only if you promise to get in booty butt naked” Chris said with a sexy smile.

“I think I can make that promise happen daddy” Tina said as she started removing her clothes, first her sundress, sandals, then bra and finally her panties.

Chris had to admit he had a sexy ass wife. After sixteen years together, thirteen years of marriage and two kids later Chris was more attracted to his wife now than he was sixteen years ago. She had a body of a real woman. Curves in all the right places, perky breast, round ass, a flat stomach, big hips and a face of an angel and she was all his and always have been, he was just too damn selfish to appreciate it.

“Damn baby, you are absolutely gorgeous. I love you. I really, really love you” Chris said as he broke down and started to cry out of nowhere. It was partly due to guilt and partly due to thankfulness. Guilt for being such a dumb ass for risking his family life over the years just for a piece of ass, thankfulness for being blessed with a loving, beautiful wife who had the patience to love him regardless of his flaws and mistakes.

“Aww babe, it’s alright. I love you too” Tina said as she stepped into the pool and swam over to Chris and hugged and kissed him.

“I just want to thank you for putting up with me and my bullshit over the years. But if you don’t know anything else, please know this; nothing in this world is more important to me than you, Chris Jr., and Brianna. You all are my life. I will die and kill for all of you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me in this fucked up world and from this moment on, I promise you, you have my word, I won’t do anything to fucked that up ever again” Chris said as he kissed his wife and held her as close as he possibly could as if he would never hold her again.

Chris held his wife tightly for over an hour until they went into the house where they made passionate love for hours. This was a day Chris wished he could live every single day of his life. He just had to find a way to stop Keisha from ruining his home that took him months to get back on the right track.

REACTIONS- COMING SUMMER 2011!!

Should What Happens on Vacation Stay on Vacation?

2011-04-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

When you take a vacation with your boys or girls the ultimate goal is to have fun, right? But what if you’re married or have a mate at home when is fun too much fun? When we take a vacation with our buddies we tend to acquire the attitude of what happens on vacation stays on vacation. Some have the tendency to get a little crazy and have the mindset of “these people don’t know me” to justify their crazy, sometimes, unethical behavior.

So the question remains should what happens on vacation stay on vacation? In my opinion it all depends. If you are single and you don’t have a significant other at home then what you do on vacation shouldn’t necessary have to stay on vacation. If you meet someone and you have a connection with that person then it’s not a problem if you all exchange numbers to try to get to know one another better. However, if you’re on vacation and you are married or have a significant other at home there is a line that should be drawn when you’re on a getaway with your girls or boys.

It’s cool to hang out with someone you meet on vacation such as having drinks, dinner and dancing, but what happens on vacation should stay on vacation, point blank period! At the end of the trip there should not be any numbers exchanged, no Facebook, Tweet requests or anything that will keep the lines of communication open with that person. The reason being is if you keep the lines of communication open with this person you are opening the door to potential possibilities that could have serious repercussions. So ask yourself are you willing to take that risk on someone that you just met and happened to spend a couple of fun days with?

It’s all in fun when you are just having fun in the moment when you are married or have a significant other at home, but it turns into something more risqué when you continue to keep the lines of communication open with someone you met on vacation, especially if you had a connection with this person.

So keep it simple. Have fun, enjoy yourself, hell reinvent yourself if you like, but at the end of the day just remember what’s important at home.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Work Spouse or Code for Secret Lover?

2011-03-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is a phrase that is overused in today’s workplace. When some opposite sex employees work closely together they have the tendency to call each other “work spouse”. Mmm, what exactly does that mean? Does the work wife pack the work husband’s lunch, give him massages when he’s tensed, or is this a woman that he disagrees with so much it feels like he’s working with his wife?

I think people should really examine this phrase before they use it. Now let’s flip the script. What if your spouse came home and said, “Babe, let me tell you what my work spouse did today that pissed me off.” How would you feel about this statement?

Wife and husband are two words that should not be used lightly, so why are people so carefree to describe their coworkers with these words? Are these words used in a jokingly way or a subliminal way? So the next time you chose to call your opposite sex co-worker your “work” spouse really think about how that makes your real spouse feel. Or is it another reason why you refer to this person as your “work spouse”?

I know in majority of cases it is a term used in a jokingly way, but it may not be so jokingly to your co-worker’s real spouse, just something to think about before you start using this term so loosely.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Is Your Fantasy Your Reality?

2011-03-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

I had a reader ask me this very question. He said he overheard his wife and her girlfriend discussing their fantasies and some of them were to have sex with a strange man. He wanted to know are they just fantasies or is this something that women eventually act out? Well, that depends on the woman.

Most women fantasize, but most women don’t act out their fantasies. A lot of women live vicariously through other people or things to fulfill their fantasies. They could live them out by watching porn, through their girlfriend’s sexual escapades, erotic books or by being a voyeur.

Believe it or not, your wife’s fantasies could add a little spice to your sex life. She could act out her fantasies by role playing with you. You could be that tall dark stranger that she fantasizes about and have the best sex ever.

So men don’t hate, participate, help your wife act out her fantasies to ensure that she doesn’t try to act them out with someone else. The mind is a power thing and just because we think about something doesn’t necessarily mean that we will act it out. Sometimes it’s refreshing to live vicariously through our fantasies, we all do it and we all have them.

However, if your mate is not sexually satisfied and continuously have an insatiable desire for sex, this can increase the probability of her acting out her fantasies with a stranger. Communication is key. Talk to your mate about her fantasies, ask her why they turn her on and try to help her live them out, with you. You may discover something about your mate you didn’t know before and like it! Better yet, you may discover something about yourself and love it!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Excerpt from "Reactions" coming Summer 2011!

2011-03-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

Tracy Marie Jackson

Tracy tried to sleep but she couldn’t, her mind was thinking a thousand thoughts a minute. Everything had to be perfect. She had worked too long and too hard for everything not to come together as planned. She had been the perfect girlfriend, the supportive wife and now she was going to be the best mother she could possibly be to her child. She was going to make sure that her child had the best upbringing possible. She was going to teach her child how to be a respectable, loving human being. Things in Tracy’s life was about to change drastically and she had to prepare herself for the enormous changes that were about to come her way.

###

“Listen, I told you don’t ever call my personal cell phone, call my work phone or wait until I call you. Do you know I was with my wife coming from her doctor’s visit, she’s pregnant!” Eric screamed into the phone.

“Don’t I take care of you? Don’t I provide for you and my daughter? Who brought you that Range Rover that you drive? Who brought you that 4,000 square foot home in Bear? I’m the reason why you don’t have to work and can still wear the latest fashions like Gucci, Prada, Chanel and Dolce Gabanna. What else do you want from me?” Eric said exasperatedly into the phone.

“Look, we have an iron clad confidentiality agreement. I take care of you until Tosha is eighteen and then we are done. But if you even think about saying anything to my wife or anyone for that matter, about anything, I will have you living off of food stamps and living in the projects for the rest of your life. Don’t forget the gag order we have Lisa. And remember, I have friends in high places that can wreck your shop if you even think about fucking with me. Do I make myself clear?”

“One more thing Lisa, I love my wife, I am not leaving my wife for you or no one, you and I will never be. So get that fucking fantasy out your damn head!” Eric said as he slammed the phone down on the passenger’s car seat.

Eric had to get his mind straight because he had one of the biggest trials of his life coming up next week and he had to be well prepared because it was going to be a media circus.

“Get your shit together Eric this is do or die time baby” Eric said as he grabbed his briefcase and threw his keys to the valet.

“Showtime baby! Let’s go.”

"REACTIONS" -Coming Summer 2011

Know the Difference Between Wanting and Needing Someone

2011-03-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend today. Let me describe this person to you. This is an attractive mid twenty –something young lady who has a lot going on for herself. She owns her own house, car, has a good job, very ambitious, no children and is currently in graduate school at an Ivy League university. She has a great personality and is very giving and loving when it comes to her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is not as far along as she is in life. He is not college educated, works two jobs to maintain and to fix up his house. He’s not able to lavish her with expensive gifts but this is ok with her because she loves him for him, period. Here’s the problem, he has a problem because she doesn’t need him but want him.

The other day they had an intense conversation and she was trying to explain to him that she doesn’t need him because she can support herself financially, but she wanted him because she loved him. His response was if you don’t need me then maybe I should just leave since you don’t need me. So she came to me today and I could tell that she was very frustrated and didn’t know what to do because she felt like he misconstrued what she said to him. My response to her was that she needs to sit him down and explain the difference between wanting and needing a person.

Just because a person needs you don’t necessarily mean they love you. They may need you because you take care of them financially, sexually or do other things for them that enhance their life. However, when someone wants you most of the time it is because they truly love you for you and not what you can do for them. So Fellas when your woman tells you that she wants you, but don’t necessarily need you take it as a compliment and not an insult. Would you rather be with a woman who wants you for you or need you because of what you can do for her and really never know if she truly loves you?

I’m just saying.

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Be a Woman and Man Up!

2011-03-06T16:14:00.000-08:00

Why is it that we can be strong and have a “no-nonsense” attitude when it comes to our children, job and family, but when it comes to our man some of us are deficient? Yes, ladies it is time to discuss this topic. It’s time for REAL TALK when it comes to our men.

We can run a business, a household, and be Suzy Homemaker, but when it comes to our man we don’t demand the respect that we deserve. As the old saying goes “A closed mouth doesn’t get feed”. And once you open your mouth make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say because actions speak louder than words. I have come to learn that a man will only do what you allow him to do. If you are all bark and no bite then your man will continue to act like a dog.

If you catch your man cheating or have evidence that he is cheating and you address it and he continues to do it, then the foolishness is on you. If you address it and warns him if it happens again you’re out and it happens again and you are still sharing the same bed then the foolishness is really on you! Because at that point you have given him carte blanche to do whatever with whomever because now he knows there are no consequences to suffer.

Ladies that’s why it is imperative to say what you mean and mean what you say! If you tell your man that you will leave his ass if he acts up and he acts up anyway then do it! If you tell your man that he has one more chance and that’s it and he messes up again, make it the last time and bounce! Yes, I said “again”, no one is perfect and even the best of the best mess up from time to time, but if it is something or someone worth having then, trust me, it will be reflected in that person’s actions. Men will only do what we allow them to do.

Men will only get away with what we let them get away with. Trust me, if a man really wants to be with you and you display what you say, trust me, he won’t violate that trust or try to test you! We may not be able to change a man but we can definitely bring out the best in a man, sometimes I think we forget how much power we have when it comes to men.

So ask yourself ladies is your mouth close or are you getting feed, but not displaying what you’re saying?

Just food for thought….

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Never Let Them See You Sweat!!

2011-03-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

Ladies, I know at times it is very hard for us to hold our tongue. Especially when you know someone is pushing all of the right buttons to make you lose your cool, and they know it. Unfortunately, most times than not, we fall for the bait and prove their point. Yes, I too, have been guilty of this. But the older and wiser I get I realize when we respond in the opposite manner than what they are expecting this really messes them up in the head! At this point they are shook and don’t have a comeback because they only prepared their speech or their reactions for an angry, ignorant person not a smart, cool-minded person.

Just remember once you lose your control you give the other person the power. I have been told by numerous people that I am emotionless or have an “I don’t care attitude”, but the truth of the matter is I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. If you have defeated me, gotten the best of me, or hurt me, nine times out of ten you would never know. I have learned to take “It is what it” attitude. If it is something or someone I can’t change, why bother? The bottom line is, “I don’t stress and won’t digress so I can be about of someone else’s mess.”

The other benefit is sometimes the whole situation can become very amusing, and at the other’s expense. Because in most cases, the calmer you get, the madder they get, then they really look like a jackass! If you don’t believe me, try it yourself. If you run across a person who calls themselves putting you on blast or telling you off, just remain calm and respond and a nonchalant manner and check out their reaction, PRICELESS.

Just to my ladies, we as black woman, unfortunately have earned the stereotype as having the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” and unfortunately, sometimes we live up to this stereotype and in most cases rightly so. But I will say this to my ladies, I know it can be very hard to restraint our tongues from saying some very harsh things, but if we could just use this reaction as a last resort or no resort at all I guarantee you that we would see a better outcome of the situation. However, I must say sometimes people leave you no choice but to bring out the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” on that ass. But if you have to use it, ladies please use it wisely.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Falling in Love is More Exciting Than Being in Love

2011-02-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

We all know how it is when you meet that special person, you can’t wait to call them, to see them, to touch them, to make love to them, just the mere mention of their name drives you insane. Even when he or she forgets to call when they said they would you don’t care, you’re just glad that they finally did call. Or when they cancel your date at the last minute, it’s all good because you know they will make it up to you next week. These are the things that we tolerate, or overlook when we are falling in love.

Once we are actually in love things are a little different. Falling in love is always a pleasure in process, being in love is always work in progress. Once you’re in love you’re less tolerant of the excuses, the missed calls and the cancelled dates. Being in love is more about making sacrifices and less about the euphoric feelings you had when you were falling in love. Being in love is about commitment.

Some may say it is easy to fall in love, but it’s much harder to stay in love. Once the novelty of the relationship wears off reality starts to kick in. Staying in love is hard work because you constantly have to think of new ways to keep the spark in the relationship, in and outside of the bedroom, which can sometimes become more of a chore than pleasure.

Everyone wants to fall in love, but does anyone really want to put in the effort to stay in love? Love is not a phase, love is life. When you accept love into your heart you’re accepting love into your life, which means you have to be prepared to take on the responsibilities of love. Love is being there when your partner needs you in the worst of time, not the best of times. Love is accepting your partner even when they change physically. Love is learning to accept your partner for their flaws and loving them the most when they deserve it the least.

If you are willing to take on these complexities of love then being in love may be as exciting as falling in love for you!

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and you’re in the Philadelphia area please go to: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Are You Paying Your Dues or Being Used?

2011-02-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

We all have to pay our dues in life, whether it’s to advance in our careers, deal with family issues or have successful relationships. In our careers we may have to work for free to prove ourselves in order to get the job that we want. When it comes to our families we may have to put other things on the back burner to make sure our home life is right. When it comes to relationships it’s a little more complicated.

We all make mistakes in life, especially when it comes to relationships. A good relationship is worth fighting for especially if you believe it is worth keeping. However, you need to differentiate when you are paying your dues versus to just being used. We all have been in the doghouse after we messed up in our relationships, but how long should you pay for a prior deed that you have repeatedly apologized for and not just with words, but with actions?

If your mate repeatedly brings up your indiscretions or your foul ups and tells you that she/he will never forgive you but remains in the relationship, most likely you are being used. If this is the case you may want to cut your losses, take this one on the chin and keep it moving.

If you have shown that you are sorry for your wrongdoings and your mate is moving forward and is trying to put her/his trust back into you again but as you on a short leash then you’re paying your dues. If you have to check in from time to time, leave your cell phone out where your mate can see who’s calling or be home at a certain time, this is called the “probational” period and don’t fret eventually all will be forgiven, but you have to put in the time first before this can happen.

Don’t continue to stay in a situation where you know you’re being used and not paying dues because eventually you will be playing the part of a fool!

I’m just saying!

Stay in Your Lane or Get Off the Track!

2011-02-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write about this topic because there are a lot of people out there who like to dish it out but can’t take it. If you’re in a “situation” and both parties “know” about the situation and “agree” to the “situation” then there shouldn’t be any issues with the “situation”, right? Wrong.

I am always amazed when people say they can handle a casual situation because they know their role and play their position and they know how to stay in their lane. However, as soon as they find out that their mate has been playing the same game on a different track with a different drive it’s an issue.

If you both agreed that you all are not in a relationship, but have a situation there are unspoken rules, such as when I’m with you I am only with you, but when we’re not together I will do as I please. There is always one person in the “situation” who is cool with this arrangement when it applies to them but as soon as they find out that their partner is doing it, it becomes an issue.

So here’s my advice. If you can’t handle the consequences of the “situation” then don’t put yourself in the “situation”. If you do decide to put yourself in this “situation” make sure you stay in your lane and don’t ask questions that you are not ready to hear the answers to. Basically stay in your lane or get off the track. You knew what the rules were when you entered into this agreement so don’t acted so shocked when you find out that someone else is driving your car on a different track!

I’m just saying.

When You Fall For an Incompatible Sex Partner

2011-02-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met that perfect guy? The guy that you have been looking for your whole life; he’s smart, sexy, funny, great job, your family loves him and he makes you smile every time you see him. You think he is the perfect guy until you are faced with having sex with him.

You have anticipated this moment for months. You have dreamt about this moment, you have fantasized about this moment, then the moment comes and it is nothing what you expected. There were no sparks, the sea didn’t part, the fireworks didn’t go off it was just bad sex! So now you are faced with the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in this relationship or give it up because of sexual incompatibility.

I must say, this is a difficult decision. Not too long ago I wrote an article entitled “Diamonds and Furs”. It was an article about women marrying men for money and not for love. This situation is different because the woman is in love with the man but there are no sparks in the bedroom.

My advice is to work it out! A good man is hard to find and especially one that you are compatible with in so many other ways. Bring sex toys into the bedroom, role play, try to be creative to bring that spark into you sex life. When all else fails seek professional help. Any relationship worth having is worth fighting for and keeping.

Ladies would you rather have an extraordinary lover that you don’t connect with in any other way or a man that you connect with on all levels, but just need a little tweaking in bedroom? You chose.

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and you’re in the Philadelphia please go to: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

It Takes More Than Just Good Sex to Keep a Good Woman!!

2011-02-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was on Facebook the other day and one of my friends had a conversation about the power of a woman’s sex. Basically he stated that just because you have good sex doesn’t mean that a man wouldn’t leave you or cheat on you. Boy, did this start a conversation. So of course the ladies responded by saying just because you’re well-endowed and can lay pipe in the bedroom doesn’t mean that a woman won’t leave or cheat on you either???

Look, maybe back in the day if a woman got sprung out on good sex that was a license for a man to do as he pleases because he knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Now fast forward 20 years later, most women don’t tolerate that bull, some even flip the script on men these days. If she has a man that can lay good pipe, but that’s ALL he can do, trust, she will have others to make up for his deficiencies. She will have one that can wine and dine her, one that will take her on vacations, one that will fix things around the house, and one that can offer to pay her bills. Notice how I said “offer” to pay her bills. Most women today can pay their own bills and are quite self sufficient, therefore, she doesn’t need a man to pay her bills, but will kindly take donations.

Nowadays women categorize their men like they categorize their shoes. If she feels like being wine and dined then she will call her Manolo Man. If she needs to have something fixed around the house she will call her Timberland Man. If she feels like getting freaky she will call her Frederick’s of Hollywood Stilettos Man. Women are quick to categorize a man just like men categorize women. So men, don’t think that just because you are laying good pipe that your woman won’t step out on you or close the door completely, WAKE THE FREAK UP!!

Forget the 90’s woman and start thinking about the new millennium woman!! Yes, we are no longer staying on the porch, we are stomping with the big dogs! We are doing it for ourselves and doing it big by ourselves! So don’t let the well-endowed equipment that you have fool you, because if that is the only thing you are offering please believe she has you categorized as the Frederick’s of Hollywood Stilettos Man and will only call on you when she is ready to get freaky, until then she will keep you in that size 9 shoebox!

I’m just saying…

C Double R!!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions

please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Being Satisfied Without Having The Big “O”!

2011-01-30T16:06:00.000-08:00

Fellas, I know you love it when you can make a woman have multiple orgasms. However, if she doesn’t have one doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy it. Most men measure whether or not a woman was satisfied sexually by how many times he can make her have an orgasm, but is this a good barometer to use to find out whether or not a woman is satisfied sexually?

For most women it’s more about the connection that she has with a man rather than the number of times she has an orgasm. Not to say it’s not exciting having the big “O” but women can also have a great sexual experience without them.

Most people don’t know that a woman can actually climax without having an orgasm. Just because a woman doesn’t “release” doesn’t mean she didn’t climax. I think men confuse the two when they don’t see “proof” of a woman’s climax. For some women it is very difficult to have an orgasm, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy the sexual experience. I have heard women say that they have never had an orgasm, but they still love having sex.

The body responds differently to different people when it comes to sex. A woman may not have any orgasms with one partner and have ten with another partner and consider them both to be great lovers. It goes back to the way a woman connects with a man mentally, emotionally and physically that makes a man a great lover. On the other hand, it could be just pure animal attraction between a man and a woman that makes her body have numerous orgasms when they are together sexually.

So men don’t feel bad if your woman doesn’t have the big “O” every time you two are intimate, just focus on her body language and her response to you sexually which are great indicators on whether or not you are pleasing her sexually.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

Diamonds and Fur Won't Make You Climax!

2011-01-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

I have heard women say they would marry for money and not love if they could find a rich man. I am quite sure there are plenty of these women married to entertainers (professional athletes, actors, musicians, rapper, etc). But one have to wonder, are these women truly happy in the bedroom?

These women may come home to mansions and servants, and may drive fancy luxury cars, but how happy are they in the bedroom? Their husband’s may satisfy them outside the bedroom, but if he is not satisfying them in the bedroom best believe that there are a lot of battery packed toys in the bedroom and maybe one or two men on the side getting the job done for them.

When women say they will married for money and not love they are not thinking about the consequences that they are setting themselves up for in this kind of arrangement. They are only thinking about the diamonds and fur and not the orgasms in the bedroom. This is the main reason why most of these marriages don’t last long and if they do, the wife ends up being miserable anyway.

So ladies, be careful for what you wish for or the actions you take because you may be setting yourself up for failure. Yes, you may be rocking the latest high- fashions, living in a mansion and driving the luxury cars, but when it comes to the bedroom you are piss broke!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please
contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Baby Momma Drama!

2011-01-24T18:27:00.000-08:00

This is something that most women can relate to, including myself. Ladies you know how you meet that “special” someone and he is all that you are looking for in a man, except there is one issue. BABY MOMMA DRAMA!! Damn, damn, damn (in my Florida Evans voice)!! So now you have to weigh the pros and the cons of the situation.

You have to assess the situation from top to bottom and decide whether or not he’s worth all of the drama? So you start with the easy questions first. How many baby mommas are we talking about? How old are the kids, are they toddlers or teenagers? Are they boys or girls (trust, this makes a BIG difference especially if they are teenagers). Are the kids local or out of state?

Now you have to ask yourself the real questions. Does the baby momma(s) call in the middle of the night? Does he go over to the baby momma(s) house in the middle of the night, talking about he’s going to spend time with his kids? Does he walk out of the room when the baby momma(s) calls him? Does his ass smell like fresh soap when he comes back from supposedly seeing his kids? Does the baby momma(s) act like Keisha from Why Did I Get Married (For those of you who have seen the movie know what I am talking about?). If so, then they are still knocking boots and you need to get to stepping!! Period!

Again, this goes back to making the right investment when it comes to our relationships. If you ask yourself the questions about the baby momma(s) and if only one of the answers is a “yes”, then that’s a red flag. If you ask yourself these questions and all of them are “yes” then that’s a damn burning flag!!

I do have to defend the innocent fathers here because all fathers are not still dealing with their baby momma(s) even if the baby momma(s) tends to act like a crazy azz woman when it comes to the new woman. I can say this because again, I have experienced it. Sometimes the baby momma(s) can’t or won’t accept the fact that her child’s father has moved on and she is still stuck on “relationship” mode when it comes to the father. Ladies, just because your child’s father may come back once in awhile and break you off some doesn’t mean you two are back together. Or just because kids night turns into “mommy night” too, doesn’t mean you two are back together.

So ladies, just keep these questions in mind when you do meet a guy with kids, because kids can make or break a relationship, but baby momma drama can kill a relationship even before it gets started!

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

"You're A Good Woman Just Too Damn Big To Be My Woman!"

2011-01-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

This is a topic I had to speak on because I have had this conversation with several of my male counterparts and each time I get heated when I have this discussion with a man.

Ok everyone peep this, true story. I have a really good male friend. He is a very attractive man who loves attractive women. He meets this woman (which is not his traditional flavor) he starts dating her, but never really exclusively. So one day we’re having a conversation and he says to me, “Chanel, this woman is like no other woman I have ever met! When I go over to her house she has my bath water ready with my favorite soap and my toothbrush laid out with my favorite toothpaste and my dinner is ready when I get out of the tub. She rubs me down and caters to me in every way possible sexually. She even packs my lunch EVERY day for work (I am talking homemade meals not sandwiches).” So I am thinking to myself damn does she have a brother that can cater to me the same way!! So I ask the obvious question, “So what is the problem?” His exact words were, “She is big as shit!!” Then he goes on to say she is a beautiful girl in the face, but she is just too damn big!

At this point I am furious!! So we go into the whole male/female conversation on how men are physical creatures and women are emotional creatures and so on and so forth. So eventually I just told him, if you truly felt that way about her then you should have never gotten involved with this woman, period!! This situation went on for over three years until he finally had the balls to tell her that she deserves better.

So of course I had to survey all of my male friends in regards to this issue and it wasn’t until I had this conversation with a male friend who kinda put things in perspective for me. So I had to take the Chris Rock stance, I don’t agree with it, but I understand!!

So here’s the deal, he says, what if you met a man and one of the qualities that attracted you to him was that he was a hard working brotha, good job, great work ethic then all of a sudden he just said fuck it and stopped working and laid around all day playing video games? He said men hold a woman’s appearance in the same regard that women hold a man’s work status and ethic.

Now, he did agree that dude should have never gotten involved with ole girl if he knew she wasn’t his flavor from the gate! He then went on to say, what if you and I got together and right now you take care of yourself by working out riding your bike, walking the treadmill to keep in shape, then all of a sudden you just stopped working out and started eating twinkies all day and gained 50 pounds. He said then I wouldn’t be the same person he married and was attracted to, same with him, he wouldn’t be the same man I married if he just stopped working. These are the different qualities that appease the sexes. Bottom line is, men are physical creatures and women are not only emotional creatures, but are drawn to strong powerful men or at least a brotha with a job!!!

I don’t agree with it, but I understand (in my Chris Rock voice)!!

What’s your take and keep it 100?

C Double R!

The Sex Reaction Concept

2011-01-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

Before I dive into this concept I must first acknowledge the person who gave me this topic to talk about, Double D. This is a very dear friend of mine who is very knowledgeable when it comes to sex and women. This concept was a revelation to me and I am quite sure it will be a revelation to many other women as well.

I was listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show and he was speaking to a gentleman caller who stated that he is married to the perfect woman, but he has a problem of wanting to still search for that “good sex” with other women. Steve’s comment to him was sex is all the same until emotions are involved then it becomes something much deeper and that is why men can sleep with numerous women and feel no attachment to them and still love their mate. As I pondered this statement I thought it had some validity to it but after I asked my friend if he agreed with that statement he said no and explained why.

He explained that sex is all about reactions, seeing how a woman responds to you sexually. He gave the example of a man wanting to be with a doctor, lawyer or a professional woman to see how she would respond to him sexually. He explained that sex brings a person to their weakest moment and to see a “take charge” kind of woman at her weakest moment sexually is a huge turn on. Therefore, that is why so many men are on the prowl when it comes to conquering that thirst for sex with numerous women, to see how they respond sexually.

As a woman, I never viewed a cheating man, or a single man who have numerous sex partners in this way. I never thought about the reaction concept when it comes to men and sex. The Reaction Concept basically is a man taking the most headstrong woman, a woman who is usually in control of her life or a physically beautiful woman and breaking her down to her weakest point sexually and getting off on it sexually.

However, I must admit this applies to women too. Women love seeing an authoritative man climax and go weak at the knees after they have blown his mind sexually. I must confess it is a euphoric feeling. Sometimes you have to say to yourself “If his boys could only see him now.” The major difference between men and women when it comes to “The Sex Reaction Concept” is that women can get off by making one man breakdown sexually whereas men need multiple women to satisfy this sexual concept and therefore, that is why they are always in search for new prey.

They only way for a man to change his behavior is to get to the root cause of his behavior and control it. He may not be able to eliminate it, but he can control and suppress it to a level where he can be faithful to his mate. Once again, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge!

I’m just saying

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Internet Love - Fake or Real???

2011-01-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

I know this is the age of technology and there are hundreds of match making sites, as well as social websites, Myspace, Facebook, Matchmaker.com, EHarmony.com, even Sugardaddie.com. I know that a fair share of new relationships, friendships and marriages were form because of these sites. I must admit not only have I met new friends, but I also have reconnected with old childhood friends and classmates. However, I still prefer to meet my “mate” the old fashion way, in person, not thru a modem.

I believe that internet dating is more accepted today than ten years ago. Ten years ago if someone met their mate online, it was perceived as a desperate move, as if they couldn’t meet anyone in person. Or others viewed people who participated in internet dating as losers or people who pretended to be someone that they weren’t so they could get a date because they couldn’t get one in person.

I believe internet dating could also be used as a meat market. Think about it, you have access to thousands of individuals, so my thought is if you’re hollering at me, who’s to say that you’re not hollering at hundred other women at the same time (especially with instant messaging)? I think it could also be perceived as a place for women and men to run game and basically try to get away with it. So my question is, “How can you tell if someone is sincere?” I have noticed on some social sites men try to crack on you and try their best to act as if they are only trying to holler at you, but then you go to your friend’s page and they have a million flirtatious comments under their picture? WTF???

Again, if this works for you, then by all means go for it. I actually have a friend who met her husband online and they are happily married and now have a beautiful child together. So it works for some, but not for all. Unfortunately, I don’t think I could ever take internet dating serious, because I just think there are too many guys out there trying to run game by hiding behind the computer. I take my chances via the supermarket, a social outing, park, or just in passing.

I just saying….

C Double R!!!

When Women Cheat

2010-12-29T10:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, ok, ok we all know women are emotional creatures and men are physical creatures, I believe I have reiterated this a hundred times already. So my question for the men is, “Can you forgive your woman if you found out or if she admitted that she cheated?” I want you to let this question marinate in your mind for a minute before you respond.

When a man cheat it’s like eating a piece of cake, it was good while it lasted but once it’s gone it’s gone! If a man could cheat everyday and knew he could get away with it then damn it he probably would! Again, it is in a man’s make up to be a physical creature. I think this is why a significant number of women forgive their man when he cheats, especially if he is a good provider, because most women know the pickings out there are very slim when it comes to finding a good man. And as I stated in a previous article most men will not leave their woman no matter how good the side sex is, because in their mind it’s just a good piece of side ass.

Now let’s flip the script and discuss why women cheat. Most women cheat because they are trying to fill a void in their current relationship. It could be the lack of communication, attention, or affection. And unfortunately, most men prey on this and play up to this when they meet a woman who they know is missing something in her relationship.

This man will do all that he can to fill that void because once he does he knows he has her right where he wants her, in his bed! Oh, he will wait and be patient too. He will be that ear that she needs when her man doesn’t want to listen to what she has to say. He will compliment her to make her feel sexy when her man doesn’t. He will be her best friend and once he knows he has her where he wants her “in that comfort zone” dude will go in for the kill. Most women, sometimes including myself, doesn’t recognize this game that men play, well not initially, then when we do recognize this game we will do either one of two things.

One, we will keep that man “in the friend zone” or we will give in. Most women give in not because we appreciate the man so much, but because we appreciate the attention from the man so much! And men know this and that is why it is much harder for a man to forgive his woman for cheating as oppose to a woman forgiving her man for cheating. Most men know once they lose their woman emotionally it is very hard to reel her back in, so that’s why most men just say the hell with it and just walk away from the relationship completely. And if they do stay they will always feel that sense of betrayal from their woman because they know that emotional sex is much worse than physical sex and this can really mess up a man’s psyche.

I hate to say it, but in a lot of cases women cheat because they feel neglected, so men if you stay on your job then maybe your woman wouldn’t cheat on you, whether it’s emotional or physical cheating. I will tell you just let you all like to tell us, the same things you did to get me will be the same things you need to continue to do to keep me!

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

If you have any questions or suggestions for C Double R! Please email me at CDOUBLER2@GMAIL.COM

You Complete Me - I Need a Man Chick!!

2010-12-28T15:55:00.000-08:00

This is a woman looking for a man to complete her. She doesn’t understand that a man should be an addition to, not a completion to. She feels like if she doesn’t have a man then her life is not complete. She has very few requirements when it comes to a man. If he has two arms, two legs, a face and a penis, then she will take him.

This is the type of woman who will support a man, visit him and marry him in prison, stay with him even if he abuses her verbal and/or physically. This is the woman who is just proud to say she has a man. She is also the kind that constantly talks about her man, my man this and my man that, all the while her friends are looking at her like she is a damn fool. Oh she knows deep down inside her man aint shit, but at least she has one. She also likes to brag about her man to her single girlfriends especially the attractive ones, basically to say I have a man and you don’t!

She is the kind that will tolerate almost anything. If she found her man in bed with her sister, mother or brother she would probably stay with him. This is the woman that would stay with her man even if he asked her for a threesome and he starts seeing the other chick on the side. She would make herself a lesbian for this man if he asked her to. She will move her man into her house after two weeks of dating and think nothing of it. She would serve her man shrimp for dinner while her kids eat oodles of noodles. She will wait on him hand and foot even after working a twelve hour shift.

I Need a Man Chick is sort of like the Ride of Die Chick, but on a much lower level. Even the Ride or Die Chick has her limits and most importantly, self respect. This chick doesn’t know what a limit is or self respect!
This is a woman who has very low self-esteem and often thinks she is not worthy of a good man so any man that pays her attention will do. She could be a woman that was teased growing up, obese, called unattractive by others, or even abused as a child. Therefore, her self-esteem was just sucked out of her and she doesn’t have the strength to try to regain it.

This type of woman can come from any socio- economical background. This could be a well–educated woman, a hood woman, or a middle class woman. If a single woman constantly talks about past relationships and can’t focus on the present, this could be a sign of I Need a Man Chick. Men, if you meet a woman and she constantly asks you questions about you and doesn’t want to answer any questions about herself, this could be a sign. Also, if she projects a low self-esteem this is a key sign. Most of these women are all about pleasing a man at any cost. She will pay for the dates, give money she doesn’t have, participate in sexual acts that she is not comfortable with, all to make a man happy.

This kind of woman does not know her self worth. She doesn’t realize she is a diamond in the rough. This is a woman who wants to be loved so bad that she will forfeit our own happiness for it. She believes she is worthless without a man. My motto is if you can’t be happy with yourself what makes you think that someone else will be? We have to learn to love ourselves first, and learn to enjoy our own company before we start inviting others into our world.

Most men take advantage of these kind of women because they see them as an easy target. Unfortunately, most men actually prey on these kind of women and use them for everything that they have. In the beginning they will make the woman think that they are really into them. Make them think that they are the most beautiful creature in the world just so they can continue to use her. Because she is such an easy target this is not a hard thing to do.

So men, if you happen to meet a woman like this and if you chose to use her instead of helping her then you are only perpetuating her ill image of herself and basically need your ass whipped!!

Ride or Die Chick

2010-12-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Now this is a chick that every man wants by his side. I also called this chick The Mary Jo Buttafucco chick. This woman caught a bullet to the head, which is still lodged in her head today, by her husband’s teenage lover and she still went to bat for his cheating ass. She actually stayed with him for years after the incident until she finally got tired of his philandering ways and decided to divorce him. But this woman took a bullet, literally, because of this dude and stood by his side everyday in the courtroom to show her support for her cheating husband. Now, that’s a true Ride or Die Chick.

This is the kind of woman that will not get shook when she finds out that her man is cheating, or when her man loses is job or go to jail, because regardless what everybody else sees she only sees the man that she loves.

I knew a young lady whose man was in the game hard. He had a reputation throughout the city. Now this dude was every bit of 300 pounds, but he was a sharp dresser, and really fly and when women saw him they saw dollars signs, so he had his choice of women. One day we were having a conversation about our men. I must admit, back then I didn’t understand the definition of a Ride or Die Chick, but I understand it now. I said my man had a curfew, if he didn‘t make it home before the sun the bedroom door was locked and he couldn’t slept in the bedroom. So she turned to me and said, “My man doesn’t come home for days sometime, but I don’t get upset. My man takes really good care of me and my kids, and I understand the game.” At this time, I am a buck in my twenties and I couldn’t believe my ears. I was thinking to myself damn you’re a dumb ass. But now I understand the true definition of a Ride or Die Chick.

Other women may look at this woman as a stupid woman. Stupid for staying with a man that cheats on you, disrespect you, and verbally and or physically beats you. This is a type of woman that has a bond so strong with her man that it’s hard for some people to understand or condone their relationship. She takes a lot of criticism from friends and family members for staying with a man that they don’t think is worthy of her.

The Ride or Die Chick is truly a ‘we’ person not a ‘me’ person. “We” as in, if it affects you then if affects me and therefore it affects “we”. When it comes to her and her man she will do almost anything to make sure her shit stays together. She will make many concessions for her man, without a fuss. She knows are place and plays her position well. She lets her man be a man and do not try to out shine him. She is his biggest fan and support system. She has a ‘It’s gonna be what it’s gonna be’ attitude when it comes to her man.

She usually don’t let others sway her, she is truly her own woman, even though others may not always see her as her own woman. She thinks very highly of her man, which can sometimes cause friction between her and her friends and family. This is why she tends not to speak ill of her man in fear of having to defend her actions. This usually happens after constant complaining about her man to others and receiving feedback saying she should leave him, and don’t. So to avoid the drama she doesn’t complain as much and keep her relationship between her and her man.

Unfortunately, initially there aren’t really no tell-tell signs in regards to a Ride or Die Chick, only time will tell if a woman is truly a Ride or Die Chick. If you’re with a chick and you are down on your luck and she takes the baton and starts running, then she’s a Ride or Die Chick. If she catches you cheating, and still stays with you, then that’s a Ride or Die Chick. If she goes to bat for you and defend you in front of others, that’s a Ride or Die Chick.

One caution about a Ride or Die Chick is that she may not let go when you’re ready to call it a wrap. She will fight to the bitter end, this is where things can get sticky. If this woman is not ready to call it quits she will not give up without a fight. You can cheat and lie and she won’t leave you and if you try to leave her she won’t let you leave, well, at least, not without a fight, which could cause embarrassment for you and possibly for her as well. See, her thinking is, how can you leave me after all the shit you put me through.

But for the most part, most men love a Ride or Die Chick, because basically they have the best of both worlds. If they take care of home and keep their woman happy almost nothing can break up their union, or so they think. This is where alot of men tend to take advantage because he knows no matter what he does she won’t leave. But word to the wise, everybody have a breaking point, even a Ride or Die Chick. So men, if you think it is sweet like that, think again.

Women are truly emotional creatures, so if she feels a deep emotional connection to you that’s a bond that supersedes almost anything else. But once a woman loses interest in a man she tends to back off. If the man is providing for her, whether it’s financially or sexually then she may stick around for that purpose alone. If this becomes the case, some women may step out on you, but continue to keep you satisfied, this is called flipping the script. So you may think you have the best of both worlds and so can she. However, if this is truly a Ride or Die Chick, no matter what she do or what you do, she will ride it out to the bitter end.

Keeping it Real – When Does It Turn Into Arrogance and Rudeness?

2010-12-17T18:07:00.000-08:00

I am not a fake person. So basically, I am not going to hang around you, if I am not feeling you. I am not going to smile in your face then talk itsh behind your back, I just won’t mess with you. Period! Some people don’t understand that and mistakenly take that as being arrogant, but it is what it is with me. Question: why would you ask me to be your Facebook friend and when I see you face to face you barely want to speak to me? WTF? Are you kidding me?

Now I don’t go overboard with it. I am not mean about it, I am just truthful about it, For instance, I have a friend and he told me he met this woman that he was obviously attracted to, or else he would not have tried to crack on her. So while they are having a phone conversation she suggested that he gets an apartment in her part of town, since he is from out of town and could afford to do so, he immediately blurts out “Oh no, I don’t do the hood”. He told me he hasn’t heard from her since. Now to me, that is being insensitive. He could have explained it in a better way why he didn’t feel comfortable getting an apartment in that part of town instead of being so blunt.

I know how to get my point across most of the time without being insensitive. Sometimes you may have to tweak your response so you don’t come off too harsh, but at the same time the person understands what you are saying. I believe it is a difference between sugar coating and carefully choosing your words. Again, sugar coating is for food not conversations.

I don’t like it when keeping it real turns into arrogance and rudeness. Now in some situations you do have to dig into your rude bag when the person just don’t want to get the point after you repeatedly stated your case. But those are in extreme situations.

And on another note, stop requesting things from others when you aren’t practicing those same needs for yourself. Another example, the same person who said he doesn’t do the hood also is very adamant about just dating dime pieces, not just the physically the whole package. She must be fione, built, educated and independent, but most importantly she MUST be a trophy on his arm. Now this brotha is not a bad looking guy, but could stand to lose about 30 pounds in his stomach alone and maybe a little dental work as well. So my point is don’t request and expect what you can’t offer yourself, especially when you have the means to do so!!!

Real relationship talk!

Hell, I am just saying…

C Double R!

Beware of Smiling Faces – The Backstabbing Chick

2010-12-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

Now unfortunately, I know these are the women men tend to love and women tend to hate. This is the chick that will smile all up in her homegirl’s face, offer her support, be there to lend an ear when she is having man problems, go shopping with her to buy that little black dress for her date, and screwing her man behind her back.

Oh yes, I had to go there, because these type of women exist and in abundance. Have you ever heard of the saying, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?” Well in this case, girlfriend is keeping her enemy a little too close. Unbeknownst to her she is giving up the tapes to the wrong person. Ladies, you know how it is when you meet that dude and he put it on you so good you can't wait to tell your girlfriend, and don’t omit one thing or one position (lol)?

These types of women are usually very good friends to other females. My assumption is one of two reasons, or maybe both. One, because they always want to have access to your business and your man and two, they feel so damn guilty they have no choice but to be nice to your naïve ass.

I know some men are thinking right now as they are reading, “Shoot, what is wrong with that?” They feel like, “I’m getting two for the price of one.” Or thinking, “What my girl don’t know won’t hurt her.” I know some of you men right now are thinking, “So tell me C Double R, how can I spot this one?” Well, here’s an example, have you ever been in a club and you got your eye on one special lady, but her girl is undressing you with her eyes even though she knows you want her girl and every time you try to go in for the number she interrupts you? This could be a sign of a Backstabbing Chick. If you go to your woman’s house and she is waiting on you hand and foot, more than your woman and is always prancing around you with some skimpy shit on, this could be a Backstabbing Chick. Or constantly saying how your woman is so lucky to have you and always giving you compliments and always making up an excuse to touch you, this could be a Backstabbing Chick. Finally, if she is always comparing herself to your woman around you, then this could be a Backstabbing Chick.

But the most obvious sign is when she is constantly coming on to you when your woman is not around. Now, I am not saying all guys fall for this and not all guys are dogs, but if a man keep getting a bone thrown at him he is eventually go to bite it. Fellas, that’s why you nip that situation in the bud from the gate, because if you don’t things can really escalate to the point of no return. Then you have a bunch of people with hurt feelings or no feelings, if you get what I am saying.

Fellas, some of yall may think this is a sweet deal, but you better think before you react because if you don’t you may get more than what you bargain for. Let’s just say, if you haven’t seen the TV series “Snapped” on WE Television station, check out an episode and you will get my drift. Everything that looks good to you, aint always go for you, or better yet, just because it’s free does mean it is for me!!!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions

please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Sexy is More Than an Adjective

2010-12-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

What is sexy? The dictionary defines sexy as “aphrodisiac: exciting sexual desire”. Sexy is more than just an adjective, it is a state of mind. Sexy can mean different things to different people. Sexy can be in a style of speech, a style of dress, intelligence, or simply in someone’s “swagger”. What is sexy to you?

Sexy is more than just a face or shape, it’s about the “presence” that someone has when they step into a room or when you speak to them in a conversation. I remember when I was younger I didn’t understand when a guy would say, “She was sexy, but not in the traditional sense.” But know I understand.

Sexy to me is intelligence and ambition. Give me an “average” looking guy who is super intelligent and ambitious Lawd have Mercy!! Ladies have you ever seen an intelligent man in action? That has to be some of the sexy stuff I have ever seen. I love a man who knows how to take charge and just get the job done. He uses his intelligence, not his fist to get his point across. He uses is goals, not his shadiness to get to where he wants to be, you feel me?

Just like the comedian Teddy Carpenter said you could be the ugliest dude alive but if you have a good job, good credit and a mortgage you look like Denzel to most women! Women love men who can handle their business. As I stated in my previous articles women love a man who knows how to take charge, we find that very sexy.

But again, it goes back to your personal preference. Some women just need a hard body and a fione ass face to call a man sexy. Some men just need a shapely body and an average face to call a woman sexy. Some men think a woman’s “independence” and her knowing how to handle her business is sexy. Some women think a man who can be gentle, but yet masculine is sexy. Sexy is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Let’s not confuse sexiness for attractiveness. There is a difference. Sexy is more tangible and attraction in most cases is more intangible. However, some people may confuse the two. Furthermore, they may not understand the difference between the two. With sexiness it’s an instantaneous vibe, but an attraction in some cases has to build up to that status of attraction.

Sexy is what sexy does. So what’s your sexy? If you feel it’s sexy then wear your sexy and wear it proud!

I’m just saying..

Act Like a Lady Think Like a Freak in the Bedroom

2010-12-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

Self Sexual Gratification

2010-12-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is a taboo subject to most, probably because most people do it and hate to admit to it. But if you think about it, most of us had our first sexual experience with ourselves, especially men. Men are more open about masturbation than women. However, today women are more open when it comes to sex period. Today more and more women are exploring their sexual side than ever before. More women are hosting sex parties, experimenting with sex toys, and are more open about how they please themselves sexually. Times have changed, especially when it comes to sex, masturbation and ways to please by self sexual gratification.

There is no such thing as abnormal masturbation, according to the sexologists there is no abnormal way to masturbate because we are such diverse creatures it would be hard to define normal. Women and men masturbate in various ways. It could be with their hands, rubbing up against something, using sex toys, or household object, wear special clothing, fantasize, use porn magazines or look in the mirror.

Masturbation is the safest form of sex. You can’t contract a sexual transmitted disease. However, men have to be careful to not use too much pressure, force or pull too hard or they could injury themselves and cause damage to the skin of the penis. Women who like to push their sexual side to the limit must also be aware of not only their sexual tolerance level, but also their body tolerance level. Some women can get caught up in the heat of the moment and could do damage to their internal walls. Some women like to test their sexual tolerance when their masturbating and go much larger than what they are accustom to and can cause themselves great harm.

Solo sex could be good because it teaches one about their body. It could also improve your sex life with your partner. You can teach your partner how to please you through self exploration. However, too much solo sex could also lessen your desire to have sex with your partner. Excessive masturbation may make you alienate your partner and could cause serious problems in your sex life.

Self sexual gratification is a great way to please yourself, improve your sex life with your partner and a great way to test your sexual limits when done in moderation. So please yourself don’t tease yourself!

I’m just saying.

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

How to Tell When He or She is Just Using You?

2010-12-05T10:41:00.001-08:00

Ladies, men too, do you only get a phone call when your mate is feeling frisky and needs to release some tension? Or always have an emergency and they need you to come get them, loan them some money or take them somewhere, but don’t need you to stay? If you answered yes to more than one of these scenarios consider yourself as being used!

Do you find that you are the one that is always giving and not receiving ( sexually, emotionally, physically, and monetary)? The only one who goes out their way to do something nice for your mate? Or the only one that is fulfilling your partner’s needs and it is not reciprocated? Again, consider yourself as being used!

Does he or she always seem to make up excuses as to why they can’t do anything for you, such as they can’t come get you because their car is down, they can’t help you out financially because they don’t get paid until Friday or they have child support money due, or come up with an excuse to break a date because it’s their turn to pay? Need I say it again, consider yourself as being used!

If they are always coming up with excuses for you to give them money, or you all have a joint bank account and you are the only one putting money in it and they are always taking money out of it, close that damn account immediately! Take charge of your life and stop trying to buy love.

I said it before and I will say it again, read the signs people. A relationship is all about reciprocity. If you find yourself always the one giving and never receiving then it’s not a relationship it’s a charity and guess who is making all of the donations? You!

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to : http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions

please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Is Cheating a Choice, Not a Promise?

2010-12-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

I was watching a movie the other day that was about a woman who had a 10 year affair on her husband. She made a statement in the movie that really resonated with me because it made me pause the movie and write the statement down. She asked her husband if he ever cheated on her and his response was he made a promise that he would never cheat on her. Her response was cheating is a choice not a promise. I wrote down that statement immediately because it really made me wonder is that really true? She went on to say no one can ever really make a promise that they wouldn’t cheat because one never knows how the heart may connect with another. WOW!

I was actually taking aback by that statement, but the more I analyzed it I found some legitimacy to that statement. It actually made me think of the song by Babyface and Pebbles “Love Makes Things Happens”. It’s a song that describes how one can never know when they may fall in love with someone even if they are already taken. It’s a verse in the song that says:

There's never a time

'Cause love will let you know

Love appears at the worst and even the best of times

Takes over your mind

Your heart is not your own

There's no way of controlling love

It controls your life

This leads me back to the question, “Is cheating a choice and not a promise?” Is there a way to control love or to avoid complicated love? Does the heart have a mind of its own? I know these are philosophical questions, but legitimate questions. I personally believe there is always a small window of opportunity everyday to make ourselves susceptible to a stranger’s love every time we walk out the door, turn on the computer or pick up the phone.

Is love controllable? That is a question for the experts to answer. However, I believe we all are responsible for our own actions. With that being said, I believe love can be suppressed especially if your heart already belongs to another. It is up to you to decide whether or not to take the road of the unknown. Love is powerful, but the brain is even more powerful. In some cases it’s better to think with your mind and not your heart.

I’m just saying.

If you want to meet someone who appreciates all of you and your in the Philadelphia please go to: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/Philly-philadelpia-PA-adventure-dati...

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.crazyazzwomen.blogspot.com

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please

contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

Scary Inconsistencies at U.S. Airport Security Checks

2010-11-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

I had to write this letter because I am very troubled when it comes to the US airport security procedures. I have traveled several times in the last month for business, carrying the same personal items each and every time (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream). The first time I traveled my co-worker had her mouthwash and hairspray confiscated. I went through the detectors without a hitch, leaving and returning.

The second trip I had the same items that I always have (cocoa butter, facial wash, and facial cream), leaving I went through security without a hitch. However, returning was a whole other nightmare. First, I had to go through the body scanner (no problem), get patted down (no problem) then my bag was searched, problem. No private room, just out in the public’s view for everyone to watch, my personal items was taken out of my bag, swabbed and my cocoa butter and facial wash was confiscated because it was more than 3 ounces.

Here is where I have a problem; I have been traveling with these same items every time I go to the airport. My question is, “Why is it that they were only confiscated now and not the numerous times before?” There are HUGE inconsistencies when it comes to US airport security. I have no problem with the body search or the body scanner, but I do have an issue when there are enormous inconsistencies when it comes to items being approved, checked and/or confiscated.

Now here’s the part that is going to blow you away (no pun intended) after going through the thorough search of my bag please explain to me why my facial cream, which was more than 3 ounces, not confiscated? So even when US airport security call themselves doing a “thorough” search by going through each item in your bag, they still neglected to confiscate items that are not allowed in carryon bags. I don’t know about you America, but I am scared to death when it comes to the US airport security. Another thing you have to think about is the “quality” of people that they hire to do this job. What really are the requirements? A high school education and a clear criminal background check? Let’s not get into the training issue.

So just to close out my horrific tale, I get on the plane and a woman who doesn’t speak English is in my seat. She checks are ticket, right seat, wrong plane JSMH (Just Shaking My Head!). Can someone please explain to me how this woman was able to get on this plane and none of the customer service reps didn’t notice she was getting on the wrong plane?

After 911 you would think the government would have trained professionals (military and or US agents) working at the airport when it comes to security. If the government can stick its nose into other industries to make them better, such as bailing out big corporations and banks, then why can’t the government stick its nose in when it comes to security at US airports?

I would like to have an experiment done where people intentionally put liquid or creams in their carryout bags that are more than 3 ounces and see how many of them get their bags checked, just to prove my point. Because currently it’s been 1 out of 4 times and the one time my bag was checked it still wasn’t properly checked.

Very Disturbed,

Getting To Happy

2010-11-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

I was reading the latest Jet Magazine and there was an article about Terry McMillan’s Waiting to Exhale sequel “Getting to Happy”. The title alone was very intriguing. She explained how the book picks up 15 years later where the first book left off. She went briefly into the summary of the book but really didn’t give specifics about it. But because I was so intrigued by the name I know I will pick it up and read it, but also because I enjoyed the first one so much I read it twice.

The title really made me think about what Terry was trying to say, “Getting to Happy”. A lot of women are afraid of getting to happy or programmed not to get to happy alone. So many women are so broken down from their previous relationships that they can’t let go and start anew with a worthy man. They build emotional barriers around themselves that won’t allow a man to penetrate it and then they end up losing out on a good thing.

This is an open letter to all of my sisters of all shades and colors don’t let one monkey stop the show, meaning don’t let a past mistake from a previous man stop you from finding real love with another or love for yourself period! Ladies we must learn our own self worth. Once we learn and appreciate our self worth we will attract good things and people into our lives.

We as women are emotional creatures by nature but sometimes we let our emotions filter over into areas of our live that could be detrimental to ourselves and our growth. We must learn to simply LET IT GO! Start anew and treat each day like the first day of the rest of our lives. Ladies let’s take back our power and learn to appreciate our self worth!

Love Behind Bars- Real or Convenient Love?

2010-10-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

I had a reader ask me to write about this topic. She wanted to know if she should let her boyfriend move in with her once he gets out of prison? She made it clear that he doesn’t beat her and he is really a good guy, but had to go back to jail for failure to appear in court for a previous case? Huh?

My advice was no, actually hell no. I have to keep it real and I can’t sugar coat this important topic even if I wanted to. Look, here’s the deal. One, he had to do something to get a case slapped on him in the first place. Two, him not showing up to court for this case shows his lack of responsibility for himself and the lack of respect for the law.

When men are in prison the only power they have is with a pen and a pad and boy do they write the perfect story with these supplies. He will tell you all of the things he thinks you want and need to hear so you can continue to come visit him, put money on his books and hopefully give him a place to live once he is out. Men in prison play this game very well and unfortunately a lot of women believe the hype!

My advice to my reader was make him prove to you that he can be a responsible adult by getting and keeping a job and by getting his life back on track. But I also advised her to continue to do her in the interim, don’t stop living your life while he is trying to get his together! Don’t allow him to shack up because if you do he won’t have any motivation to get his life back on track. Know your worth and make sure that any man you’re with knows and appreciate your worth!!

I‘m just saying..

If you’re in the Philadelphia area and need support whether it’s for family support, support from other women or just daily life support go to this link:

http://philadelphia-pa.yellowusa.com/Support_Groups.html

C Double R!

The One That Makes You Go Damn!

2010-10-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

Ladies and men have you ever met that one that makes you go damn! You love the way this person smells, walks, smile, and not to mention how they throw it down in the bedroom. This is the woman or man that you just can’t say no to no matter what he or she does. Then you make a promise to yourself that you are through and you are cutting this person out of your life for good, but as soon as you see that person you get that fluttering feeling in your chest and you envision yourself in the bedroom with this person making mad love? Why do we do that, why do some people set themselves up just be on a rollercoaster of lust?

Pure physical attraction. Some people just have pure animalistic attraction towards one another. Yes, they know in some cases it may never go farther than the bedroom, and they both are cool with it. I think we all have met that one person, one time or another, that just does it for you. You don’t necessarily want to marry this person, or be with this person in a serious relationship, but you want to keep this person in your life.

I must say this is a rare occurrence. Of course when you first meet someone in the beginning it may be fireworks then after awhile it wears off. But when you meet that special person, no matter when you two get together or how long you two have been apart its constant fireworks, that’s a person that makes you go damn!

Not too many people can handle this kind of situation. This is a special kind of situation because both people have to be on the same accord and must know their position because no one wants unexpected drama. But if both parties are cool with the situation then more power to them. Because I will say it is very rare to find someone that can make you go damn, all the time!!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Concessions vs. Settling for a Man

2010-10-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies, I know if we could create our own man we would make him with all of the characteristics on our “wish list”. Chili from TLC had a show on VH1 entitled “What Chilli Wants”. Unfortunately, what she wants doesn't exist, well at least not in one man. She is looking for a man who is super fine, washboard stomach, rich, don’t smoke or drink, God fearing, tall, no more than two baby mommas and most importantly he must be BIG in the right area!! WHAT??????? CP! (Translation Child Please!) Chilli, you couldn’t create a man like that, even if you had the tools to do so!

See, this is where I have a problem with women. Some women live in a fantasy world and that is the main reason why so many women are singled until one day they wake up and realizes that they wasted so many years looking for a man that doesn’t exist they panic and pick up the first thing that’s breathing, just so they can say they have a man!! Are you serious? So let’s see, you went from unbelievable expectations to the bottom of the barrel expectations just so you can say you have a man or just so you don’t have to be alone.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please understand the difference between making concessions for a man and settling for a man. Let me explain the difference. A concession is when you date or enter into a relationship with a man who doesn’t have some of the characteristics that you normally like in a man. For instance, you may prefer dark skinned men, but you happen to meet a light skinned brotha that have all of the important qualities that you look for in a man so you make a concession for this man. Another example is you may have a rule you only like to date tall men, but you happen to meet an average height man, who again, has all of the other important qualities that you look for in a man, so you make a concession for this man.

Now let’s talk about settling for a man, shall we. Most women settle for a man when they get desperate. Desperate to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship! It doesn’t matter if dude doesn’t have a job, 8 kids with 6 different baby mommas, beat your ass, a drunk or a habitual cheater. As long as you can say you have a man, it’s all good!

The one thing women can do to avoid getting to this stage is to learn to understand their self- worth. Period! Once you understand and can appreciate your worth then you won’t become desperate because you know what your worthy of. It will become an innate behavior which won’t allow you to settle for the crap when it comes to men or anything in life. Once a woman masters this task she will clearly know the difference between making a concession and settling for a man.

So getting back to my girl Chilli, until she can understand the difference between settling and making a concession when it comes to men she will forever find herself alone! Because believe me we all make concessions when it comes to our relationships. Trust me, whatever man she decides to be with will be making a concession too when it comes to her, because there are no perfect people in this world and that includes you too Ms. Chilli!

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, leave comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com

When a Woman's Fed Up!!

2010-09-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

This is for the guys who think just because your woman has tolerated your bull for so long that she won’t just shut you down one day. Most women tolerate more than what they should when it comes to their mate. Women has the tendency to constantly forgive, let their men come back, accept their unfaithful ways, but please believe WOMEN never forget!

If you ever listen to the old school song “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The man describes how he comes in 5 o’clock in the morning and his woman doesn’t question where he has been and even asked if he was hungry? The next verse he sings how he’s in the hospital bandage from head to toe. Yes, this was a song about a women being fed up!

So take this as a warning guys, just because your woman isn’t addressing your wicked ways she is definitely putting them safely away in her memory bank and once that memory bank is full, watch out! I’m not saying she is going to put you in the hospital, but you could come home to an echo one day, meaning she has packed up all of her stuff and bounced. Or if you live with her, you could come home to your stuff laid out neatly on the lawn.

I’m just saying, watch how you treat people that you supposedly love, and don’t take their love for granted because one day you make wake up to a rude awakening. One more thing guys, usually when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can say or do to make her change her mind because she has reached the point of no return!

So here’s something to take away from this article, what your thoughts, because they become your words, watch your words because they become your actions, watch your actions because they become your character!

I’m just saying!!

C Double R!

Loved Up, But Not Wifed Up!

2010-09-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

Ladies have you ever fell into the “wait until” trap with your man? Wait until I finish school, wait until we buy the house, wait until I get the promotion, wait until I get my divorce? Yes, women will actually stay with a man for years even though she knows he is still married in the hopes that one day he will get a divorce and marry her. Why do so many women fall for the “wait until” game?

The kicker is when the man says “I’m not going nowhere and neither are you so what’s the rush?” WTF!! Are you serious? That’s even more of a reason for him to put a ring on it! A woman will stay with a man for years, have babies for him, buy a house with him and he will never marry her you know why? Because she has already given him everything that a married coupled give each other which mean he doesn’t have any motivation to marry her. I’m just saying!!

Ladies stop playing house and stop putting the cart in front of the horse, make him work for your love. Put your foot down and if that means that you have to remove yourself from the situation to make him realize how lucky HE is to have you as his woman then do it! This is easier said than done, but in the end it is all worth it because at the end of the day you will know if the whole relationship is really worth your time and energy and if that man really loves you like he says he does.

If you are good enough to “portray” the image of the wife by living together, having kids together supporting him emotionally, spiritually and even financially then you should be good enough for him to put a ring on it and make it official and be called the Mrs. and not my lady, girl, love of my life, girlfriend or fiancée!

There is a huge difference between being the Mrs. and the girlfriend/fiancée. When a man introduces his woman as his wife there is an instant respect factor from other women as oppose to him introducing her as his lady or fiancée. Here’s some real talk, if you have a good man and other women know it and if you are not his wife then they see him as “still available”. If you don’t appreciate your worth and don’t make him wife you up then another “smart” woman will because she knows her worth just like she knows his.

I’m just saying!

If your mate hasn’t married you and you want to know why there are plenty of couple counselors in the Philadelphia area.

C Double R!

Head of House- Should it be the Woman, Man or Both?

2010-09-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

I had a very interesting conversation the other day, so of course I had to write about it, so here it goes…

I was having a conversation with a friend in regards when Barack Obama was running for the presidency. I had made mention to the fact that when Barack was on Oprah over 4 years ago and he was thinking about running for the presidency Michelle stated that this had to be a family decision because it will change the dynamics of their family and she had a career to think about too. The other party whom I was speaking to immediately stated that’s bull and the final decision is Barack’s regardless if Michelle agrees or not, however, he then went on to say he would need her full support?? WTF!! Then the other party stated the final decision should be Barack’s, who is the man of the house, period! So I shot back, that’s why they are still married because they discuss important decisions as a family unit, not independently!

So, I ask the question when it comes to important decisions for the household who should make the decision, the man of the house, the woman of the house or should it be a joined decision?

I’m just saying..

C Double R

Dating Outside Your League!!

2010-09-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

Time to keep it real, so let’s go! Nothing pisses me off more than having someone request something from a potential mate that they can’t even provide for themselves, you all know what I’m talking about. For example, a man who’s always talking about he only wants to date “dime” pieces. Translation, this means one of two things. He only wants to date a woman with all of the external qualities that stands out, a pretty face, banging body and very stylish. Or it could mean that he wants everything previously mentioned (outstanding physical characteristics) as well as well-educated, independent, classy and also a freak when she needs to be.

There is nothing wrong with these types of requests if you are also fulfilling the same requests for your potential mate. For example, you can’t request a dime piece, whether it’s just the physical or the full package dime piece, and your credentials aren’t up to par. You are requesting a Pamela Grier exterior but you are a Fat Albert, sorry but I’m just saying. Or you are requesting a Michele Obama and you have a G.E.D.

The bottom line is don’t request something from someone else that you can’t fulfill for yourself. Men tend to be more of sticklers for these kinds of requests than women. A financially successful woman would date a man who makes less money than her before a man would date a woman that is not his physical “cup of tea.”

Some people look to others to validate who they are and to confirm their self- worth. If you want self- worth then YOU have to create your self- worth, no one else can do that for you. Be what you like! If you like physically fit women or men then get that ass in the gym! Join the team, don’t be a spectator of the sport. If you want a successful partner, work on your own plan to be successful yourself. Trust me, when someone sees that you can bring just as much to the table as they do they will respect you more.

I just don’t respect someone who puts all of these demands on someone else in order for that person to be their mate when they can’t even hold a candle to the person that they are requesting. Really?

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Why is My Bed Always So Cold?? The Independent Chick!!

2010-08-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

Fellas have you ever met that perfect woman? She’s independent, fine, have her own car, house, money and don’t mind treating you to dinner or surprising you with a gift or two. She’s just that bad that she have you thinking to yourself, damn I finally found that perfect woman. She got her own shit, great in bed, and she can hold it down on her own. You’re thinking you hit the jackpot, until you get into that first heated argument. Boy, that’s when you think to yourself, “What the fuck did I just get myself into?” It goes a little something like this, “Jigga I don’t need you, I want you, don’t get it twisted. So let’s be clear. I’ve been taking care of myself before you came along and will continue to do so after you are gone! I don’t know who the hell you think you are because I am an independent woman and I don’t need a man for shit. “Sounds familiar? And this is all being said because you asked her did she need help with the groceries!

See men, independent women are very hard to gauge. Sometimes they want a man to take control and at other times they need to be in control because they don’t know how not to be in control in certain situations. Most women are in control because of one of two reasons. One, they were either forced to be in control or two, they have the desire to be in control.

Unfortunately, these are the women who don’t understand that every woman needs a man. It’s not in a woman’s makeup to be a man. Period. Yes, women should be very proud that they can support themselves, take care of their business and don’t have to answer to anyone, but that doesn’t mean that deep down inside that they don’t want and desire a man to protect them. More often than not, independent women inadvertently push men away. Yes, most men love independent women, but they don’t want to be reminded every day that they are with an independent woman and constantly reminded that she don’t need him, but she wants him. That shit get old real quick with most men.

One thing I learned is that a man needs to feel needed because if he doesn’t then he feels emasculated. It’s in a man’s make up to be the provider, the protector and the head of the family and when a woman takes that away from him he feels inadequate. This is the one thing that the independent woman just can’t seem to understand, no matter how many degrees she has hanging on her wall. This is the reason why most independent women ask the same question, “Why is my bed always so cold?” This is the reason! Learn to let a man be a man, even if he doesn’t make as much money as you, or if he’s not as educated as you, or doesn’t have a high power job like you. Let the man be the man, damn it!!

Men, so I know you are asking well how can I tell when a woman thinks like this? Well there are signs. If a woman never let’s you pay for anything and always brag about how much money she makes and wants to compare paychecks. That’s a sign my brother. If a woman is always telling you how much she paid for this or that, and shows you the receipt. That’s a sign. And most importantly if she always want to ride you and never let you ride her while having sex. That’s definitely a sign.

These are all signs letting you know that she don’t need you and she is constantly telling you this when she does these types of things. There could also be another underlying reason why she does these things. Insecurity. When women have to constantly brag about their money, possessions, and or looks this is usually because they are trying to mass some other insecurity. It’s the same as when a little man buys a huge truck, or an older man buys a red corvette or gets a tattoo. We all do things to mass some kind of insecurity that we have about ourselves, whether it is big or small.

We women have to learn to let it go and let the man lead and learn to follow sometimes. Because if we continue to poke our chest out like we are the king of the jungle all the masses will find another location to habitat. I define myself as an independent woman, but I am not an overly aggressive independent woman. Can I handle my business? Yes. Am I educated? Yes, with a Masters from an Ivy League University, but is this brought up in the very first conversation I have with a man I just met? No. Fellas, this is another sign. If you meet a woman and she is telling you or better yet showing you her portfolio on your first date, run.

Now the flip side of this is that most independent women are very selective and very picky when it comes to dating men. For instance, I have several girlfriends who are educated, attractive and independent, who will only date a man of a certain caliber. They don’t look at potential they look at the current situation and if it is not up to their standards then they will not give the man the time of day. So fellas, if we are keeping it real let’s do just that. Don’t approach a well dressed classy sophisticated woman if your shit aint tight. So to save you the embarrassment, know what you working with and when in doubt move on, there are more fish in the sea. I know that sounds harsh but unfortunately there are a lot of shallow people in the world including independent women.

Now, there are different classifications of independent women. Just because a woman is educated doesn’t mean she’s independent or just because a woman is not educated doesn’t mean she’s not independent. Being independent simply means handling your business. You could be living at home with your parents and working two jobs and going to school, that’s flexing your independence. You could be a single parent mother with no assistant from the government, that’s flexing your independence. Then there’s the independent woman that most are familiar with, the well-educated, high power position independent woman. All these women have one thing in common, strength. So when an independent woman meets that perfect man it is hard for her to relinquish her power because she has been programmed for so long to be that way.
Fellas, I am not saying that all independent woman her bossy, or hard to deal with, I am saying just understand the type of woman that you are dealing with because it does take a special breed of a man to deal with an independent woman. When a woman is forced to be in the position of power she gets use to holding that position and it is hard to let go and let someone else hold that position for her.

It goes back to the fact that every woman doesn’t understand that she needs a man. One of my favorite songs is by Mary J. Blige, it is called “Father Figure”. In the song she speaks about how it was hard for her to be in a relationship and to keep a man because she never knew her father and she didn’t know how to relate. It also talks about how every woman needs a man and how some women don’t understand that fact. We all want a man to be our protector, our leader and some women think if they admit to that then they are giving up their power and independence. But in fact, what they are really doing is keeping it real and being a woman, the way God created a woman to be.

One thing I do think independent women understand is that it doesn’t take a man to complete them. A man should be an addition to not a completion of a woman. I will speak a little more depth on this topic in later chapters. Now if the independent woman can just learn to share the independence then I believe she could be in a much better situation when it comes to relationships with men.

Men I am not saying if you don’t make six figures, live in a nice house, and drive a nice car that you don’t have a chance with an independent woman. Again, independent women have different classifications and all independent women aren’t superficial or bitches. There are independent women who will support a man who is trying to pull himself up to be a better man. However, you also have independent women who like to tear a brotha down when he is trying to pull himself up to her level, financially. This is where that insecurity piece comes into play. Fellas listen, if you are a hard working man, supports his lady emotional and spiritually and she doesn’t appreciate it because you can’t support her financially, then she’s not the one for you. Period.

Learn to read the signs that women put out every day. Also, stop getting caught up on the physical and learn to be more in tune with the emotional. Once you can learn to do that, that’s when you can become a master at whether or not a specific woman is the woman for you.

I'm just saying..

C Double R!!

The Forbidden Fruit- Why Do We Always Want What We Know is Bad for Us?

2010-08-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

Why do we go for that extra slice of cake knowing darn well we’ll complain about it later when we step on the scale? Or why do we gamble with our rent money, kid’s college fund or life savings? Why do we risk our marriage just for one night of good sex? Why do we have unprotected sex with people we barely know, knowing the risk that we are taking? Why do we always want what we know is not good for us? Is it for the thrill of it all? Or is it to see if we can really get away with it? Or is it as simple as living in the moment?

I have asked several of my friends this question and no one really had a valid answer. So I started to ponder the question even further. The best reason I came up with is that people simply live in the moment and do not think about the consequences of their actions. Think about it. Do you really think that someone would gamble away their kid’s college fund if they truly weighed the consequences? I don’t think so. Do you think a man or a woman would really risk their marriage, especially if they are happy, for a one night stand if they truly weighed the consequences? I don’t think so.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where we want what we want when we want it and we don’t see, hear or think about anything else during that moment. When you add in the huge amount of temptations out there, being strong can be a huge challenge!! Even Dr. Martin Luther King succumbed to temptation by cheating on his wife. Even Evangelists succumb to temptation because of greed. Even Magic Johnson succumbed to temptation, by having unprotected sex which caused him to be infected with the virus HIV. These men knew the risk and the probable outcome of their actions, but this didn’t stop them. How can one explain this?

I also believe timing and circumstances play a major role in wanting the forbidden fruit. You can take the most faithful man there is, but if you catch him at the wrong time (some may think at the right time) he too can get got, it only takes a minute to make the wrong decision and it can happen to the best of us. But my question is what about the repeat offenders, the ones that just don’t give a hell and repeatedly taste the forbidden fruit. They pick the forbidden fruit so much they can make fruit salad on the regular basis! Do they do it because they are constantly getting away with it and haven’t been punished for their actions, or they just don’t give a hell?

I think we all have tasted the forbidden fruit in some capacity. So think back to a time when you did taste the forbidden fruit and ask yourself why did you do that and please share with us, because I want to know.

Fruit for thought!!

C Double R!!

Why Do Married Men Cheat?

2010-08-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

First, let me say I can speak about it because I have lived through it. Over the years I have learned that a man can love you, kill and/or die for you, but is it doesn’t mean that he won’t cheat on you! Now that’s some real talk for your ass! Unfortunately ladies it’s in most men “make up” to cheat. The best way I can explain it is that most men have an insatiable desire for a variety of women. That’s it in a nutshell.

I had a friend who wanted me to blog about this topic. The first thing I said to the person is just because your husband cheat doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you and for the most part his ass will not leave you not unless you kick his butt out! As you all know I have several close male friends and I have this discussion with them constantly and the one common response is that they would never leave their wives for another woman no matter how good the sex is, period.

It has been explained to me that most married men cheat because they need a little variety when it comes to sex to keep the excitement in their marriage (Hey I don’t condone this in any way, but I have to give it to you raw!). I was told even if you have the main dish which could be filet mignon, lobster, or whatever your favorite main dish is, but you need the side dishes like potato or asparagus to go along with it to make the meal more flavorful. Another analogy that was used to explain why men cheat is ice cream, yes damn it I said ice cream! I was told take for instance your favorite ice cream is “vanilla”, but then you are introduce to a new flavor “Rocky Road” something that looks good and something you never had before and your curiosity gets the best of you and you try it and you like it. So here on out even though “vanilla” is still your favorite every now and again you have a taste for Rocky Road. But when asked what is your favorite ice cream you still respond “vanilla”.

The bottom line is that men are just wired differently than women. The saying men are from Mars and women are from Venus is so true! But let me warn you men, just because your woman or some women like myself, understand this and just because we expect it, doesn’t mean that we are going to accept it!

So let’s be clear, don’t think you can use “it’s in your make up” as an excuse for cheating. Let me give you a little advice, don’t let the taste of the Rocky Road ice cream substitute the vanilla ice cream because vanilla ice cream has been around since the existence of ice cream. Other flavors may come and go, but vanilla is a constant when it comes to ice cream.

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

To read more articles by C Double R! please visit www.creme-magazine.com. If you would like to ask C Double R! any questions, comments or topic suggestions please contact her at cdoubler2@gmail.com .

Open Relationships- Do They Really Work?

2010-08-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if this is a new fad or the new way of relationships. But this has become a very popular form of dating. Could it be because of the shortage of good men or the lack of self esteem with women? Or is it the attitude of “I rather have a piece of a man than no man at all”? Have women lowered their standards so low that they are willing to share their man with other women openly?

I had the pleasure of interviewing one local Philadelphia man who has three “wives” and they call each other “sister/wives”. Let me clarify by saying, no they are not legally married but they all share the same home and enjoy their relationship with each other.

This is not the traditional “open relationship” situation, but it is definitely not the “traditional” relationship either. Usually in an open relationship the couple is “aware” that their mate dates other people but usually they don’t “join in” with dating the other person also.

I found this relationship to be truly unique because all parties genuinely love each other and are happy with one another. They all take trips together, have designated days that they share with their “husband” and they also have days when they all share each other. This is truly real life “Big Love”.

One may ask or say to themselves these must be hard up women or women with very low self-esteem. Not true at all. All three women are well educated, very attractive with very high self-esteem. They choose to be in this relationship because they want to, not because they have to.

After doing some research I discovered there are several clubs in the Philadelphia area that caters to swingers and open relationship couples. One of the local hot spots is Rollplay located in Atlantic City. Rollplay is an oasis for like-minded couples and single women to explore their desires together, from the sensual and sublime to the intense and erotic.

I must say I am a very liberal woman, but I don’t think I could ever be liberal enough to knowingly share my man with other women and also partake in the relationship activities with my man and these other women. Maybe I am just old fashion and still believe that a relationship should only consist of two people, not three and four. Or am I behind in the times? Is this the future for dating in our society?

I am quite sure a lot of men could go for this kind of dating and gives it two thumbs up, but I only see a lot of heart ache and disappointment in this kind of dating. Women are very emotional creatures and it takes a very special woman to partake in this style of dating and I aint one of them.

I’m just saying..

C Double R!

The First Date Jitters- Do’s and Don’ts

2010-07-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

It really doesn’t matter if you are 21, 31, 51 we all have first date jitters. We all run through the gamete of emotions; excitement; nervousness, and ambiguity when it comes to the first date. Why, because no one really knows what to expect from a first date. It’s as if we become obsessed with the unknown, will we have anything in common, will we click, will he bore me, and how can I cut the date short if I don’t like him? These are all of the questions that run through our heads right before that first date.

Well here are a few things that you should and shouldn’t do on a first date. First, relax. Keep in mind that this is “only” a date, not a job interview. You do not have to bring your resume or three references with you on the date. Besides, something had to attract you to this person in the first place or you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation for a date, not unless it is a bind date, and even so, the same rules apply.

Try to have fun even if there isn’t a love connection. This is still a leisure activity that you planned, so make the best of it. The person may not be your soul mate but he or she could turn out to be a very good friend. Give it a chance. Don’t cut the person off right away if there isn’t an instant attraction to this person. Some of the best and longest marriages have derived from great friendships.

Go on the date with an open-mind. Do not go on the date with a negative attitude. Don’t look for reasons or make up reasons not to like this person without getting to know the person . Some of us can self-sabotage our own happiness because we are too afraid of being happy or worst, the unknown.

Try to plan an activity that you enjoy; biking, bowling, or dancing just in case the person is not what you expected, at least you can still enjoy the activity of the date. Remember in some cases dating is like shopping, sometimes you have to keep looking until you find what you like and sometimes you won’t find it in the first store that you go into, but you still want your shopping experience to be a good one.

Now here are some of the “don’ts” on the first date. Never ever bring up previous relationships, especially ones that ended badly or ones that you are still not over yet. This will send up a red flag to the other person and this is a sure way to get the other person running in the opposite direction fast! Try to stick to basic subjects and try your best not to bring up heated debatable subjects such as religion, ex spouses, previous relationships, or politics.

Don’t interrogate the person on the first date. Don’t throw a barrage of questions at the person all at once. Don’t ask about financial status, credit report, or if the person have a criminal record. Are these all important topics? Yes, but are they necessary questions to ask on the first date? No. Again, remember this is a first date not a police interrogation room and you are not a detective. You are here to get to know the person in general. These are questions to ask once there is a mutual interest and you both have decided that this is something that you want to pursue.

Don’t offer your family plans on the first date, this may scare the other person away. He or she may think that you are ready to get married tomorrow. Try to keep the conversation light, such as what kind of activities you like, movies, foods and things that make you smile. Try not to monopolize the conversation either. Ask the other person questions about them, don’t hog the spotlight.

If you follow these basic rules I guarantee you that you will have a decent date at the least. Remember you are on the date to get to know the person, but in very general terms, no need to over think it. Just go into it with an open mind and don’t put expectations on the other person or yourself. But most of all try to have fun!

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

No You Can’t Date My Momma: When Grown Kids Live at Home and Interfere with Your Dating!

2010-07-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is something I hope I never have to experience because I have heard nightmares in regards to this issue. Ladies have you ever had to end a relationship because of your kids? No, I am not talking about minor age children, but because of your grown ass adult still living at home kids? Can we say “Baby Boy” situation?

I think this situation is harder for sons than it is for daughters, especially when they have been called “The Man of the House” for so long. They tend to feel like the new boyfriend is trying to take over the role as “The Man of the House” and most sons don’t take too kindly to this, so they will try to throw a monkey wrench in your program.

Now don’t get me wrong, not all sons do this for selfish reasons, sometimes they do it for very good reasons. Most men can recognize game when they see it and the vision is ten times stronger when it comes to their Mommas, believe that! Don’t any child (son or daughter) want their momma to be played by no man, especially if they can see it coming from a mile away.

But the question is does the child have a right to steal your happiness or perceived happiness away from you? Yes, he/she may have good intentions (in some cases) but ultimately shouldn’t it be your decision who and who not to date? Just like we tell our kids, sometimes you have to live the mistake in order to learn from the mistake.

However, if your child knows that you are dealing with a straight up loser or a playa then in that case I think the child not only have the right, but an obligation to let you know. However, letting your mother know and telling your mom who she can and cannot date is something completely different. Because just like in any other scenario, you can only lead the horse to the water, you can’t force them to drink it, not unless they are thirsty.

So the bottom line is this, should you stop dating someone just because your grown ass kid that still lives at home tells you not to? Well, it all depends, if the child is doing it for the right reason and can prove what they are saying is true, it is still your choice to make, but when it doesn’t work out you can’t say you weren’t forewarned. Now if you know your child is interfering just because they don’t want you to date and just don’t like the dude you are dating then I say hell to the no! If your grown ass still living at home child doesn’t like the man you are dating, but you do, then they can do one of two things; shut the hell up, be respectful and deal with it because their grown ass shouldn’t be there anyway or they could pack their stuff up and move out!

I’m just saying…

C Double R!

Double Standards!!!!!

2010-07-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Why is it that a man can sleep around with a bunch of women and be called “The Man”, but when a woman does it she is called a “Ho”? Why is it when a man is in charge or the boss he is called the “HNIC” but when the woman is in charge she is called “The Bitch”? Why is it that when a man handles his business he is looked at as a good catch, but when a woman is doing her own thang and handling her business she’s looked at as “She thinks she’s the man that’s why she doesn’t have one!” Why? Why? Why?

Now far as the sleeping around thang, I get that. But it’s amazing that men want to sleep with these kind of women, but don’t want to marry these kind of women. But when a women marries this kind of man they think they have done the impossible, tamed the untamable beast? So women, take heed! I agree with Steve Harvey, “Act Like a Lady, But Think Like a Man!!” I had a very intelligence brother once tell me he doesn’t want easy sex, he doesn’t want what every other dude can get. He wants a woman who makes him work hard for it.

But far as the boss lady and the independent woman goes, what’s up with that? We work just as hard, if not harder than a man to get our titles and our possessions so why can’t we get the same kind of respect?

Why is it that a man doesn’t want to commit to a relationship, but wants you to commit to him? I’m just saying. Why is it that a man doesn’t want to take care of a woman, but feel inferior when she can take care of herself? Why is it that a man wants a woman to take charge in the bedroom, but not in the boardroom? Welllllll… Or here’s the killer, a man can have five kids by five different women, but look down on women who have more than one baby father? WTF???

I have my own opinions on this but I need the Fellas to talk to a sista?????????????????????

C Double R

Never Let Them See You Sweat!!

2010-06-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Ladies, I know at times it is very hard for us to hold our tongue. Especially when you know someone is pushing all of the right buttons to make you lose your cool, and they know it. Unfortunately, most times than not, we fall for the bait and prove their point. Yes, I too, have been guilty of this. But the older and wiser I get I realize when we respond in the opposite manner than what they are expecting this really messes them up in the head! At this point they are shook and don’t have a comeback because they only prepared their speech or their reactions for an angry, ignorant person not a smart, cool-minded person.

Just remember once you lose your control you give the other person the power. I have been told by numerous people that I am emotionless or have an “I don’t care attitude”, but the truth of the matter is I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. If you have defeated me, gotten the best of me, or hurt me, nine times out of ten you would never know. I have learned to take “It is what it” attitude. If it is something or someone I can’t change, why bother? The bottom line is, “I don’t stress and won’t digress so I can be about of someone else’s mess.”

The other benefit is sometimes the whole situation can become very amusing, and at the other’s expense. Because in most cases, the calmer you get, the madder they get, then they really look like a jackass! If you don’t believe me, try it yourself. If you run across a person who calls themselves putting you on blast or telling you off, just remain calm and respond and a nonchalant manner and check out their reaction, PRICELESS.

Just to my ladies, we as black woman, unfortunately have earned the stereotype as having the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” and unfortunately, sometimes we live up to this stereotype and in most cases rightly so. But I will say this to my ladies, I know it can be very hard to restraint our tongues from saying some very harsh things, but if we could just use this reaction as a last resort or no resort at all I guarantee you that we would see a better outcome of the situation. However, I must say sometimes people leave you no choice but to bring out the “Angry Black Woman’s Syndrome” on that ass. But if you have to use it, ladies please use it wisely.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Why Are You Single, If You're Not Gay?

2010-06-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

Women, have you ever met that mature decent brother who has a good job, own place, no kids (or take care of his kids), and nice car, but has never been married? Doesn’t it make you wonder why this guy is single? He has all of the qualities that most women look for in a man and he’s easy on the eyes. First, let me say NO HE’S NOT GAY! Unfortunately, men who fit this category are usually simply set in their ways and have grown accustomed to being alone.

It’s almost like a single woman finding out she is pregnant in her late forties, she has to evaluate and decide if she is willing to give up “herself” and her “lifestyle” to prepare for motherhood. Men feel the same way when it comes to settling down after being single for so many years.

Most single men love their “space” especially after they have had it for so long. This would be a life changing decision because he would have to go from a “me” man to a “we” man and most mature men are not willing to do that.

I have a friend who fits this description, good job, homeowner and nice looking in his mid forties and he has never been married and doesn’t have any children, and no he is not gay! So of course you know I had to ask the question, “Why are you single”? He basically said because he doesn’t want to give up his space. He said he loves coming home not answering to anyone, not dealing with someone when he doesn’t feel like it, and doesn’t feel like “changing” at this stage and age in his life.

Most mature men fear they will lose themselves or what they have grown accustomed to if they decide to engage in a serious relationship or marriage with a woman. I do have to agree to a certain degree because most women are needy and demand attention and unfortunately, this deter most mature single men from wanting to be in a relationship, they see it as too much work and too much to give up.

Have women become so needy that it has caused men, especially good men, to not even bother with us? Is it such a chore and “job” to be in a relationship today, especially with a black woman? Most men don’t understand that it’s in a woman’s make-up to be a nurturer and caregiver. We want to nurture our men the same way we nurture our children. We want to provide you with support because we believe in you, not because we want you to push us away.

So men this is just something to think about the very next time you decide you rather have your freedom as oppose to a good woman standing by your side supporting you and loving you. Because your "space" and "freedom" can’t take care of you when you are sick and support you when you deserve it the least or hug you when you need it the most.

I’m just saying.

C Double R!

Ladies, Ladies Please Read the Lyrics to Statistics by Lyfe Jennings!!

2010-06-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

I love the new Lyfe Jennings song. This is for my ladies please check out the words and adhere to them!!

Statistics Lyrics – Lyfe Jennings

Alright alright alright yall settle down settle down settle down.

If you don't know where you are this is STATISTICS 101

and I'm your teacher LYFE JENNINGS in the flesh baby.

Books out. Let's go!

CHORUS

25% of all men are unstable

25% of all men can't be faithful

30% of them don't mean what they say

and 10% of them remaining 20 is gay

That leaves you a 10% chance of ever finding your man

That means you *better* *pay* attention to these words that I *say*

I'm gonna teach you how expose the 90%

and show you what to do to keep the other 10.

RULE #1

Don't be a booty call

If he don't respect you girl he gone forget you girl

*RULE* 2

If he's in a relationship

If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE 3

Tell him that you're celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he *gone* have to work for it

RULE 4

Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime

STATISTICS!

15% of all men got a complex

15% of all men don't practice safe sex

20% of them come from homes without a father

so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

Something to think about when you're taking a shower

Something to swallow when *you* drink ya bottled water

I'm gonna teach you how to expose the 90%

And show you what to do to keep the other 10

REPEAT CHORUS

Be patient! He's waiting!

You don't gotta settle for that

Leave all that stress alone!

Get you a backbone!

Stop being *sorry for* yourself!

Have you no (checklist)?

It's gonna take (patience)

Time is still (wastin')

Click on the link to see the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFH-VwT4s0E

C Double R! Live on The Dedan Tolbert Show explaining the Three Stages of Men!

2010-06-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

If you missed this hot topic show " The Three Stages of a Man According to C Double R!" please click the link and listen to C Double R! keeping it real on The Dedan Tolbert Show!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dedantolbert/2010/06/10/the-dedan-tolbert-show-weeknights-at-900pm-est

The Three Stages of a Man According to C Double R!

2010-06-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

First let me put this disclaimer out there, this is solely my opinion based on my experiences and observations of men. My Masters Degree is in Organizational Leadership not Psychology, however, I do believe after reading this article most, if not all, of you will agree that I make some very valid points when it comes to the Three Stages of a Man in regards to relationships.

I believe there are three stages that a man could possibly go through when it comes to relationships. Those stages are Player Stage, Metamorphosis Stage and Ready to Settle Down Stage. However, let me premise this by saying that all men do not reach or complete all three stages. It’s very similar to Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development for a child. Everyone knows that there are five stages to Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development; oral, anal, phallic, latency and genital stages. However, some children never complete all five stages, same with my theory when it comes to the three stages that men can possibly go through when it comes to relationships.

The first stage is the Player Stage. This is the stage where basically the man is “just doing him”. He is dating numerous women simultaneously, lying, cheating, and doing whatever he can to keep the sex flowing. I believe most men have gone through this stage at one point or another in their life. This stage usually occurs when a young man initially starts dating and unfortunately this stage can last for an entire life time for some men. I know men in their forties who are still in the Player Stage when it comes to relationship.

This can also be a very dangerous stage because most men are reckless in this stage. Reckless in the sense where they are not properly protecting themselves sexually or reckless with their lies, which can result in numerous children, sexually transmitted diseases and/or a lot of hurt women. And we all know hell has no fury like a woman scorn, so men beware of the women you date in this stage because some of you might not make it to the next stage if you happen to “cross” the wrong woman.

The second stage is the Metamorphosis Stage. This is the stage that most men reach once they are tired of juggling different women and is ready to settle down or they have been hurt or have hurt the woman that they truly loved. This is the stage of reflection. This is the stage where the man is ready to get serious with his life when it comes to having a relationship with a woman. He goes through a cleansing stage. In this stage he may practice abstinence and focus on his inner self before he decides to engage in a serious relationship with a woman. I call it the Metamorphosis Stage because this is the “crossing over” stage. This is the stage where the man is trying to get to the other side, which is the Settling Down Stage.

Unfortunately, this could be a good and a bad thing for the woman who is in this man’s life at this stage. It’s a good thing because usually in this stage the man is very honest, sometimes brutally honest, to the women that he does meet while he is in this stage. Most women love and can respect an honest man. It’s bad because the woman will never really know if this man can and will ever crossover to the other side. It’s almost as if the man is in limbo and the woman is actually taking a gamble on this man, hoping and praying that he does reach the other side. Because at this point she doesn’t know just like the man doesn’t know if he will ever crossover to the Settling Down Stage.

The Final stage is the Settling Down Stage. This is the stage that every woman wishes she could meet her man in, but unfortunately, some men never peak to this stage. This is the stage where the man has gotten all of the playerism out of his system, had time to reflect and learn from his previous actions and now has positioned and prepared himself to be in a commitment relationship.

Unfortunately, just like some men never leave the Player Stage or the Metamorphosis Stage, some men never reach the Settling Down stage and this includes married men too! Oh yes, a man can be married but can still be in the Player Stage or in the Metamorphosis Stage, unbeknownst to his wife. In the ideal world we all want to meet “the right” guy in the Settling Down Stage but that’s just not reality.

I believe, we as women, know what stage a man is in when we meet him we just don’t want to acknowledge it. So I will leave you with this you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. If it doesn't sound or feel right, nine times out of ten it isn’t.

I’m just saying!

C Double R!

When to Introduce Your New Man in Your Life to Your Children?

2010-06-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

I am a single mother who has faced the decision whether or not to introduce my son to the person I am dating. I have introduced my son to only one person that I have dated since my divorce, more than four years ago. It was my first semi-relationship I had as a single mother, and I made an error in judgment by introducing my son to the person I was dating.

I haven’t made that mistake again in more than three years. I introduced my son to him at the same time I was also getting to know this person - big mistake. This is one of the worst things a single mother can do because it is irresponsible to have your child get attached to a person that may or may not be in his or her life for a short period of time. Some men try to get close to the child in order to get closer to the mother.

Their logic is if they can get in good with the child then it’s a sure thing with the mom, not! Unfortunately, there isn’t a magical length of time to determine when you should introduce your child to your new love, but there is something called “good judgment.” If you have been dating someone for two or three months and he hasn’t asked any questions about your child(ren) or if he has children and he never talks about them, then that’s a pretty significant sign that he doesn’t view children as a priority or being important when it comes to building a relationship with a single mother.

However, if your new love constantly include your child(ren) in your conversations or ask to meet your child(ren) and you know he is sincere then that’s a good sign. This is a sign that he views children as being an important part to a successful relationship when it comes to dating a single mother.

So when do you think it is appropriate for a single mother to introduce her child to the new man in her life? Here is what a few of you had to say:

Ayinda from Collingdale, PA: “Three months, if she is certain that the relationship is serious.”

Terrell from Macon, GA “I once dated a young lady who introduced me to her son about a month after I met her. I didn’t think much about it. Well, her little boy instantly attached, and when things didn’t work out with me and his mother we both felt awkward because her son would make her call me even when we weren’t suppose to be talking. I think both of us felt a sense if guilt. So, I think you should make sure that the person will be around for a while before you introduce them to your children. Communication is the key I guess!”

Double D from Phila., PA: “First, let’s make the distinction between introducing your child and having someone being involved with your child. You can merely introduce your child to a first date. Involvement with a child is more significant the child is getting to know and or like the person and forming a bond and a connection with this person. And in my opinion, the only time a woman should do that with her child is when she believes or have some information, such as an engagement, that would lead her to believe the relationship is for life or at least for a very long term. Otherwise your child will be going through every break up that you go through.”

Sam from Phila., PA, “I don't think you can place a hard and fast number of dates that needs to be adhered, i.e. after the 3rd, 4th, etc, date. I think it needs to be based on the woman's feelings and conclusions she is drawing on the new boyfriend from the time they've spent together. Have they spoken about kids? What are his thoughts about children? Does he already have kids? What kind of disposition does he have? These are just a few of the questions a women needs to be considering. It's really all based on how she feels about him and the kind of person he is.”

J.R. from Los Angeles, CA: "My experience is with my ex wife who had 2 kids when I married her. I met her kids after a month of dating. I think a person can meet the kids once you''ve established relationship parameters with your significant other and the person should be introduced to the kids as a friend"

Dione, a single father from Lawrenceville, GA, said: “I guess the answer to your question is this: I do not see a reason for any woman to meet my children, unless we are looking at embarking on a long term relationship and possibly marriage. As a responsible adult, your actions are viewed and noted by those who emulate you, your children. Your actions act as their moral compass for when you are not there to answer questions. They will rely on what they have been exposed to in their past. I hold myself accountable for the type of people my children develop into."

As parents, we can guide and direct up to a point. if we have done our part, our children stand a better chance of stable moral and ethical base from which to make sound decisions.” I highly recommend holding off introducing your child(ren) to the new man in your life until you are sure that this man will be in your life for a long time and is marriage material. If not, you will only set your child(ren) up for disappointment. If you know this is not a person you want to be in a relationship with or have a future with then leave the children out of it.

Basically keep it simple, don’t complicate things by getting the child(ren) involved. Children are very impressionable and very trusting so if you’re not sure the person you are dating is the “one” then don’t introduce your child(ren) to him until you know he is the “one”. And if he is not the “one”, then you saved your child(ren) disappointment and you can put your mind at ease knowing you didn’t make an error in judgment by introducing your child(ren) to this person who is no longer in your life.

Food for thought. I'm just saying!!

C Double R! Special Guest on The Dedan Tolbert Show

2010-06-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

If you missed this hot show please click the link and listen to C Double R! keeping it real on The Dedan Tolbert Show!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dedantolbert/2010/06/03/the-dedan-tolbert-show-weeknights-at-900pm-est